Father To Son
by Eloisa-Persephone
Summary: *COMPLETE (EPILOGUE ADDED)!* After the Sorceress War, Squall completely rejected Laguna as his father. How will their relationship change when disaster strikes and Squall is kidnapped? SquallxRinoa, IrvinexSelphie, Lagunax???
1. Chapter One: Squall

**Author's Note:** At the moment I'm incredibly stressed and I find typing up HTML coding so theraputic...anyway. I'm in the middle of my finals and new writing is coming out incredibly slowly, so I decided to share my first ever FFVIII fic with the fanfiction.net community. It's set two years after the Ultimecia affair. Some of you may have seen it up elsewhere under my other pen name, Eloisa (which FFN wouldn't let me register - WTF?). I've revised the first chapter a little in light of criticism of my descriptive writing (or lack thereof) so I hope it's better this time out. Enjoy!

**DISCLAIMER:** Final Fantasy VIII and its characters belong to Squaresoft. Yes, I stole them. I prefer to think of it as a long-term loan.

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FATHER TO SON

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CHAPTER ONE - SQUALL

Squall Leonhart rubbed at his eyes again as he stared out over the vast emptiness of the Great Plains of Esthar. He tried to push the fatigue out of his mind. Too much to do. He had far too much work to do to even try and rest up properly. Whenever he thought about slowing down he couldn't help but be reminded of the way this plateau looked two years ago. Before Sorceress Ultimecia, through Seifer Almasy, brought the Lunar Cry down onto the greatest nation in the world.

Admittedly, there had never been many towns out here, and the villages had been remote, isolated places. But before the moon monsters had landed there had been people in the semi-desert, the tough kind that on other continents would have lived in the wild canyons of Trabia or among the dunes of Galbadia. Now they had gone; they had fled to Esthar City or been killed before they could run. The city itself was enough of a shambles. Laguna - he flinched as he thought the name - wanted his country put back to rights. Squall couldn't blame him for that. He couldn't blame Cid for putting him in charge of the huge Garden team sent out to try and clear the billion or so monsters out of Esthar, either. But Laguna was - difficult to work with. Difficult in a way that very few other people could see.

_The others think I'm being stubborn with him because I don't like him_, Squall thought, watching the Ragnarok cruise along just above the ground a hundred feet away. _They don't see that I'm trying. He asks the impossible. Professionally and personally._

The insectile ship's lasers flashed straight at the ridgeline ahead - and, with a low roar, the hill collapsed. Gravel and dust whooshed up around the Ragnarok's nose as Selphie expertly steered it to safety. Beside Squall, Irvine Kinneas let out a cheer and tossed his hat into the air. "Way to go, Selphie baby!" he yelled.

Zell scowled at him and flexed his muscles. "You ever stop going on about your half-sized chick? Quistis is at the guns. Not her."

"Who're you calling half-sized? And Selphie's got a heart the size of Galbadia. Did you see that turn -"

"Leave it," Squall ordered. "You're forgetting we've still our bit to do."

"Who's forgetting?" Irvine demanded, plugging his fastest ammo into his favourite rifle. "When the monsters show, they show. Until then we're off the front line."

"We're SeeDs. We're always on the front line."

Zell, until then scanning the area for signs of monsters, glanced up at him. "You OK, Squall?"

_No._ "Yeah, fine." 

"Just, you have been double-shifting lately and -"

"Nothing our employer doesn't do."

Wrong thing to say. Zell's face immediately took on that half-pitying, half-irritated expression so many people seemed to wear whenever they heard him mention Laguna. "He's not leading combat squads every minute -"

"No, only about half the time." Squall kept his eyes front. "And I can manage just fine. I do happen to be half his age." Zell didn't answer, just sighed like he thought Squall was being deliberately troublesome. That was the last thing Squall wanted now. He needed his friends. Especially when the great open spaces made him feel so isolated.

_Rinoa's up there on the ship. It's not like we're apart. The Garden's parked in FH, just a train ride away. Half the SeeDs are in Esthar for me. Gods, Ellone's in Esthar for me. Why am I so - difficult? I've got people here. I'm not alone._

"Guys." Irvine's voice was low and urgent. "We have action." Squall blinked, looked. He was right.

An indigo wall of sheer muscle rose up through the pile of debris, pushing boulders aside like they were plastic imitations. It was a huge Behemoth, engaged in shouldering away the rubble from the Ragnarok's destruction of the hillside. The monster's muzzle broke through the surface scree and it swung its crimson-maned head from side to side as if looking for whatever had attacked it. A Torama slunk out in the Behemoth's wake, rolling its shoulders around to fling the dirt from its spotted fawn coat, almost gliding across the uneven surface with typical feline sleekness. But there was not just one. Three, four - and a fifth was there at the back, hiding behind the others, something dangling from its mouth.

"Oh, man," Zell muttered. "Female with cubs. The pack'll fight to protect them."

"No more than we should have expected," Squall returned, drawing his gunblade. "Summon the GFs. Hit them hard before they see us."

"Too late," Irvine snapped, bringing up the Exeter and taking down the leading Torama with one shot through the eye socket just as it squealed its war cry. The thing had been at least eighty yards away. _Can't afford to forget how good he is with a gun._ The Behemoth turned and roared, stamping its feet in preparation for a lumbering charge. The remaining Toramas didn't bother to prepare. A second to orient themselves, and then they were off, rushing straight at Squall, Zell and Irvine.

Irvine's gun rang out again and the first Torama staggered. It didn't stop, just let the rest overtake it. Zell wasn't moving - why? Squall shook himself and took a pace forward, spitting the nearest Torama on the Lion Heart as it leapt at Irvine. The remaining two stopped for a second, then with the unerring instinct of animals that recognised a common enemy they advanced on Squall, moving shoulder to shoulder. He feinted; they hesitated. _Damn it, Zell, why aren't you - _

"Holy Judgement."

Squall leapt backwards as he felt Alexander towering over him. The two Toramas leapt up to strike the Guardian; the mighty figure flung a golden lance of Holy power straight into the chest of the leading cat. The second beast fell under the shower of heavenly shrapnel that rained all around. _Thanks, Zell. And thank you, Alexander. Too bad the Behemoth decided to come late to the party._ Squall reoriented himself and ran straight at the huge monster.

His first attack startled it more than it damaged it. Same with Irvine's next gunshot. The Ragnarok was wheeling past overhead, no help to them. However good a shot Quistis was she couldn't hit the Behemoth when it was this close to the ground team. Not without killing somebody in the process.

The Behemoth roared and charged, head lowered. Squall tried to dodge; too late. The monster's horns raked across his side - but only caused superficial damage. _Thank you, Bahamut, for Auto-Protect. That would have killed me._ Squall tried to get up and make another attack. He stopped when his head started swimming. _ Superficial damage from Behemoths is still devastating. Remember that next time you try to go one on one with them, you crazy man._

Zell finally decided to join in. He dashed past Squall and started dancing round the Behemoth, lashing out at it repeatedly then dodging away before it could hit him. The blasted thing was trying to swat him like it might swat a fly. Too bad for it that Zell was as fast as one. _Clever boy_, Squall silently approved. He was drawing its attention away from Squall and Irvine. _Give me a little more time to get moving._

The Behemoth lowered its head again. Squall winced as the monster ran straight at Zell like it had at him earlier. Zell was faster, though. He dived straight beneath its hooves, coming out the other side, and as he got to his feet he yelled, "Squall! What are you waiting for?"

"Something like that, maybe," and now he had the strength. _Focus. You know you can._ He reached inside him for that place the special energy came from, the energy that fired him up when he had nothing else left, and as the Behemoth turned to come back at Zell he attacked, slashing repeatedly at its head and flanks. It moved as if to strike him; he dropped back. The monster did not follow. It was staggering, shaking its head around.

"Squall, you blinded it. Get out of the way before it smells you."

"Easy for you to say, Irvine." _Like, he's never in the way. Gunmen don't know what that means. _ But he fell back, somehow sensing that Irvine had something special planned. Half a second later he flung himself to the ground as a mobile explosion roared over his head and impacted with the Behemoth. When the sound had died away Squall raised his head and risked a look at the place the monster had been. There wasn't much Behemoth there any more, just a hole and a few charred bones.

"Thanks, Irvy. You nearly scalped me -"

"Uh, Squall." It was Zell. "We still have a problem." Squall got to his feet - 

And remembered about the female Torama. He stared at the monster, still crouched down by the cave-in site licking at its young one. As he watched, the Torama pulled away and turned towards them. How intelligent were the things? At this distance Squall could hear its growls. Suddenly he knew that the cub was dead and that the Torama thought he was the cause. Irvine was at his shoulder, already firing; the Torama ignored the first bullet wound and barely flinched at the second. It was casting.

The sky darkened. Squall glanced upwards, his stomach sinking as the stars seemed to come closer. A Meteor spell. It could well take him out - it would need only one of Zell or Irvine to fall as well, and they would be in real trouble - 

And then the sky went all the way to black. The Ragnarok roared past him, gunning straight for the Torama. In a single burst of flame it died. The spaceship backwinged, skidding to a halt on the nearest hillock. The hatch banged open to reveal Quistis and Rinoa standing together at the entrance. "Come on!" Quistis was shouting across the space between them. "Get in here before the spell -"

The first fiery orb shattered on the ground in between Squall and Irvine. Near-molten shards flew from the impact point, glazing the desert ground where they struck. Without really knowing how, Squall took off at a dead sprint, heading straight for the hatch. _Can't keep it up...no!_ Zell was catching him up, passing him. _I've overstrained this time. You idiot, Leonhart._ The Ragnarok was still so far away from him - too far...

Something red hot and smoking crashed into him from a great height, sending him crumpling to the ground. He tried to get up. This time it wasn't going to work. The second blow convinced him of that. The last thing he remembered was staring hazily towards the Ragnarok and seeing Rinoa's shadowy wings flare.

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"This time, are you going to slow down, or am I going to have to apply the brakes myself?"

"Don't ask difficult questions, Rinoa." Squall finally got his eyes open. He was lying on the floor of a room that looked like the Ragnarok's passenger deck. Rinoa was kneeling beside him. He could still see her wings. They had that silvery cast to them that meant he was the only one who could. "What's happening?"

"After you decided to play catch with the Meteors, Quistis took over and decided we'd all had enough for one day. You especially. We're heading back for Esthar City."

"Then the day's not over yet." He hadn't meant to say that aloud. Rinoa was frowning at him.

"Quistis can take the report into the Palace, and she can help Laguna play with his maps as well. You come back and get an early night for once."

Squall pushed himself upright and decided it had been a mistake to do so. "I can't do that. I've got to talk about tomorrow's assignments. Not ours - everyone's. We're moving further away from Esthar every day, and I want to rearrange all the teams so everyone has mobile backup. I don't want anyone caught in a situation like that," and he pointed out the window, "without someone able to help them out. Even the people still working within city limits."

"And Quisty can't so something that simple? I thought it was procedure anyway."

"Not for everyone. We have an advantage."

"Like, Selphie refuses to give back the Ragnarok, so we always get it?"

"She likes her toys. This spaceship, her guitars, Irvine. Whatever." He slid back down so his head was pillowed in Rinoa's lap. This was peace. The only peace he ever got.

Rinoa stroked his unruly hair. "I miss you of an evening," she admitted softly, bending over and kissing him. "I liked it when we could just lie together and talk. I had to try and persuade you. But I'm kind of pleased you're so set on going over."

That was not what he'd expected to hear from her. "Why?"

"My father's come over from Galbadia to see Laguna. He called - very briefly. He said it was important and you would tell me later."

"That means it is important. He trusts you enough to tell you things." Squall sighed. Although he had to go see Laguna, he'd hoped he would be able to get away quickly and spend at least some of the evening with Rinoa. Looked like that wouldn't be happening. "Any clues?"

"Something about the army. That's a direct quote."

"Hmm." He tried to think. "Maybe they're short on young officers since Galbadia Garden's training programme got - well, interrupted."

"And he'd come to Esthar to talk about that?"

"Yeah, so it wasn't a good suggestion. Maybe if Galbadia's security is threatened by the shortage -"

"Not likely. It isn't just Timber that's become independent. Galbadia's less than half the size it was under Deling."

That wasn't something he could think about directly - and not for strategic reasons. Whenever anyone mentioned Timber he couldn't stop himself remembering how Rinoa had come to his room the night before the tiny country's independence ceremony. She'd reminded him that she was still technically his client until the treaty had gone through - and had told him exactly what she wanted him to do before he stopped having to obey her. Having any woman, let alone the one he adored, come on to him that hard had been an entirely new experience. Just thinking about her was a turn-on unless he resisted it. And he didn't really want to resist now.

"I had another thought," Rinoa offered. "About what he might have meant."

"Hmm?" The curve of her breasts above his head - the line of her chin - 

"Seifer and his renegades."

Squall's attention shifted from Rinoa's body to her face. "You OK?"

She shook her head. "I still can't think about him. I can't believe what he did in the Sorceress War and I can't forgive him for what he's done to Galbadia since then." Squall reached up and stroked her cheek. He knew which memories of the war troubled her the most; Seifer handing her to Adel in front of her friends in the Lunatic Pandora, and Seifer torturing Squall behind closed doors in the Galbadian prison. He couldn't blame her for choking over them. They bothered him too.

"Be fair. For the first year he had nothing to do with the trouble in Galbadia. The deserters started that on their own."

"He went back to them when they wanted him. He just couldn't resist hurting people again."

"You're so sure he's still involved?"

Rinoa stared at him. "Are you starting to forgive him?"

"That's not what I said. Look, it took them months to pry him out of FH. There's no proof he went off to Galbadia. I just think - he might not want any more of this."

"Then where is he?"

Rinoa touched him again. "Like what?"

_Like you. _ "Like how I've hardly had any sleep in a month."

"How about two? Poor baby. You try too hard."

Maybe he could get her to understand. "It's a bit difficult not to. Look, try to be me for a second."

She pretended to think. "Nah. Men are strange. You're even stranger."

He ignored the remark. "I've always been - out front. Better than other people without having to try. Weapons training, endurance, anything. I mean, _anything_. I can manage on five hours a night, easy. Always have." 

He took a deep breath. "We get here, what, six months ago? Seven? And I find the guy who's hired us has done so because he's been personally sending _every_ team out to sweep Esthar clean of monsters for the past year and a half, and he's running out of both men and patience. I step in and send out a few task teams. He's still organising the lot. He's the one hearing about where the biggest nests are, not me. I couldn't do half of what he does. He's still leading groups round the city, too. He's working over twenty hours a day and he has been for two years. He can't see a break coming either. And he still manages to keep going. I don't know how he does it and I can't keep up despite the fact he expects me to, and I expect me to." Squall turned over and buried his face in Rinoa's stomach.

Rinoa gathered him into her arms. "I don't think he does expect you to. It's only your own standards getting you down."

"You aren't there every evening when I go off and leave him still reading reports. You aren't there every morning when he looks at me like he's wondering where I've been for the past couple of hours."

"You're imagining things." Maybe he was. "You need an evening off -"

"And I can't take one. Your father's turned up."

"Tomorrow, then. Tell him you need a rest and you're getting it. I'll make sure he remembers."

"Thanks." He meant it. Anything for a few more hours' sleep. Anything for more time with Rinoa.

The Ragnarok's intercom bleeped. "Good evening, people!" Selphie's cheerful voice bounced across it. "I thought you'd like to know we're just flying into Esthar, and we've got clearance for the airstation. So, anyway, we'll be home soon. See you all later." A breathless giggle later, the intercom cut out.

Rinoa was smiling. "Someone's happy."

"Irvine was on the bridge with her. I can tell."

"Because you feel like that when I'm with you?"

"Sort of." He sat up and held her then, instead of the other way round. "I don't want to lose you."

"Silly. You're not going to."

"One of us could die any day -"

"Being honest about it, probably you. You're the one on the ground most of the time. And I get more sleep. I concentrate better."

"I don't want to die if it means leaving you behind." She kissed him at that. He hugged her tighter to him, until she gasped as her ribcage protested. He loosened his hold on her. "Sorry. I didn't want to hurt you."

"If you died you would hurt me. Can we stop talking about this now?"

"Sure." He got to his feet - he was still a little unsteady; pity Rinoa had no special healing abilities like Selphie and Quistis had - and stared out of the windows. Esthar City lay below, its lights glittering in the twilight. The initial devastation the Lunar Cry had caused there had mostly been repaired. Several districts were still uninhabitable due to monster nests in sub-basements, but those grew rarer every week. Esthar was starting to look like it had the first time Squall had seen it - the beautiful, peaceful city that considered itself the heart of the universe.

The beautiful city that Laguna had built up and still ruled over. His father...

Rinoa reached up to touch his face without looking. "Don't upset yourself, my knight. Certainly not over Laguna." He didn't answer; she sighed. "Look, can't you stop seeing this as a race between you? Can't you see it as - well, as a similarity between you? Maybe you get your stamina from him, and he just has more because he's more used to using it. Maybe. Think about it, Squall. Please? Ellone -"

"Elle's trying to make us be friends. And we try, when we're with her. She knows we don't like each other. She's used to it. She's got into the habit of ignoring it and hoping we will too." Not quite true. Ellone ignored the antipathy between the men in her life in the hope they would eventually grow out of it due to sheer embarrassment. So far Squall had seen no sign of that in either himself or Laguna.

But what hurt was that Rinoa was right. Squall was starting to see some of his own good qualities in Laguna, and if anything he was starting to hate the man more because of it. Laguna's strength was leading in crisis situations - because of his charisma and insight rather than because he had the technical knowledge Squall had worked so hard to absorb. When it came to getting a job done he was someone Squall would now consider asking for help, an adjustment in his thinking that had been difficult to achieve when he'd always thought of the man as ineffectual.

_He just knows what to do about things. I don't. I think things out and don't make dumb conclusions halfway that get me to exactly the right place by coincidence. Oh, no. I have to try. I can't bluff it through, or act on instinct and just happen to get what I want. Not like Laguna Loire._

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**(to be continued...)**


	2. Chapter Two: Laguna

**A.N.:** Thanks to Djinxx, Quycksylver, Baconfat and Stella Anon for reviewing - it's so nice to be appreciated... Quycksylver: it's not really that Laguna doesn't like Squall as a person, it's more that he hates his attitude and he feels Squall isn't giving him a fair chance. At the same time, though, he feels guilty about 'abandoning' him as a baby, which is really all that's preventing the bitch-slapping (which I feel Squall sorely needs). More of this below...

**DISCLAIMER:** The characters and setting in this story do not belong to me but the plot, such as it is, does. Please don't steal it. 

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CHAPTER TWO - LAGUNA

Laguna glanced at his reflection in the silvered wall. More lines were showing on his face. Hell, why did he worry? He'd never looked his age and probably never would. And he had few enough reasons to think about his own appearance. His wife was dead. His son didn't care.

Ellone did. She was the one who would probably try to drag him to a hairdresser within a month, when she finally got tired of watching his shaggy black locks grow. That or she'd come over with the scissors herself so he could keep working at the same time. Laguna half-smiled. Thinking about Elle gave him the energy to keep going. His little girl. He still hadn't got over that day at the Lunar Base when he'd turned round and seen her standing behind him. He didn't know how he'd got on without her.

The extra surprise she'd brought along that day was something he could have done without, though. Laguna looked over at Squall, in a knot with his SeeD co-commanders, discussing the next day's team rotations. He'd come back from patrol three hours early, with some story about running out of stamina and not wanting to get his team killed. Laguna checked himself; it wasn't a story. The boy was plainly exhausted.

_Then, damn it, why does he keep going? He's got no reason to. It isn't his country, his responsibility. He shows that clearly enough by how slowly he moves his squads around._

Again, that was unfair. He and Squall simply thought in different ways. He'd spent more than a year trying to clear as much land as he could of monsters. Squall preferred to consolidate the ground they already had and to make sure that any new gains would not need to be worked over again. As Kiros had pointed out ever so patiently, the two aims were both wonderful. The best solution would be to balance them. And the main work of doing the balancing had fallen on Kiros, Ward, Xu and Quistis, while Laguna and Squall glared at each other across the table.

_He's gotta grow up sometime. Wait; he's probably saying that about me, and I'm - what? Best part of thirty years older than he is. I just don't like it how he gives over such a negative image to people. _ He just avoided catching Squall's eye as the young SeeD straightened up. _Forget it. I accidentally fathered him; that doesn't make him my problem._

"Have you sorted all your patrol parties out for tomorrow?" he checked, making sure the question covered all the SeeDs. Xu and Quistis nodded; Squall didn't respond. Laguna ignored him and went on, "As well as the overall plans for next week, we need to talk about your plans for covering the city if the army has to pull out. I don't think it'll happen - we can certainly manage the night-time patrolling for now - but you never know."

"Something like a security issue on the other side of the continent?" Xu checked.

"That, or on the other side of the planet," Kiros replied. "We're still living in a world where anything can happen. You all know that. A threat to one nation might be a threat to all, and Esthar might be forced to send soldiers to assist." 

Squall and Quistis glanced at each other; Laguna realised they already knew General Caraway was coming. He would have told Rinoa, of course, as soon as he knew it himself. Caraway had a fragmenting country on his hands, but at least he had a child who sometimes talked to him.

As they discussed ways to stretch the Garden resources to cover Esthar City as well as the surrounding countryside, Laguna tried as hard as he could to push his problems with Squall out of his mind. Their eighteen-month separation had just about been bearable. Laguna had slowly accustomed himself to the fact that his son ignored him whenever he could. He'd got a card with a few quickly scrawled lines at festival time; Elle had received long monthly letters that Laguna had tried his hardest to ignore. It was difficult, when she kept going on about how well her 'little brother' was doing. He knew none of the details himself. 

It hurt him sometimes. Especially because the boy was more like Raine than he could ever know. He had not only her looks but her stillness, her quiet authority, her maturity. _ He would have got along with her. Why can't he get along with me?_

Eventually the conversation ground to a halt. They'd covered every possible angle of any possible move the SeeDs might have to make, including retaking Esthar from a fresh influx of monsters starting with only the Palace as a base. As Laguna said, it couldn't get worse than that unless the whole city fell down. Squall, of course, started acting like it might, playing devil's advocate for the sake of it. After quarter of an hour Xu managed to shut him up. By that time it was nearing midnight.

On cue, one of his aides entered the conference room. "President, General Caraway has arrived at the Palace."

"About time. Show him up."

"Rinoa's father?" Xu exclaimed as the door closed. "So when I was talking about a security threat -"

"Yeah, I think you were talking about a real one. I just kind of don't know what yet. He didn't give me any details. Just, Galbadia's got a problem." Or its de facto leader had. Caraway had managed to take control of the Galbadian army after Seifer and Ultimecia had left it hanging in control of Galbadia. That technically made him the country's military dictator, but he didn't act the part.

_Why should he? I guess I came to power after a coup. Just, Adel was a special case. A nutcase who had to be stopped. I guess Ultimecia and Seifer were like that too._

The door opened and Galbadia's leader entered. "Good to see you," Laguna enthused, taking Caraway's hand.

"And you." Caraway's eyes travelled round the table. He greeted the others with a smile, saving a warm one for Squall. Laguna bit his tongue as Squall gave Caraway a slight smile back. That was more than he ever got from the boy.

Quistis looked a little uncertain. "If you have important business would you prefer it if we left?" she asked, motioning to herself and Xu.

"No. It may concern you as well." Caraway pulled an extra chair up to the table. "There are signs that Almasy and his men are on the move again." Laguna grimaced, an expression mimicked by Squall. Eight months ago, when the trouble with the Galbadian deserters had restarted after a six-month break, all the signs had shown that Seifer was leading the renegades. For a start, the strikes were far more vicious and had far less evidence to show who had been responsible for the thefts and destruction.

After a failed attempt to kill General Caraway, the Galbadian army had worked through the whole country to catch Seifer's forces. Most of the private army's squadrons were eliminated. But of Seifer there was no sign. He and fifty soldiers had escaped Galbadian justice, and had not been heard of since. 

"More worryingly, my commanders have reported high numbers of desertions. They are afraid that Almasy is on a recruitment drive. If he attracts too many men, we could all have a problem." Caraway shrugged expressively.

"Will you be able to deal with problems in Galbadia yourselves?" Squall asked.

"If we can find their headquarters. As yet, we haven't." Caraway turned to Laguna. "That's why I'm here. I didn't want you to have to give me any important information over the phone. It looks like they're operating from somewhere outside Galbadia. I was wondering if there was any chance - any at all - that they could be based in Esthar."

"It's kind of hard to tell. We've heard nothing - but we haven't got most of the country cleared of monsters yet. They could have cleaned up their own bit of land and moved in there. We would never know. Esthar's way too big for us to be able to tell."

"Ward asks if you think they're mad enough to have chosen to come somewhere suffering from a Lunar Cry," Kiros translated for his hulking friend.

Caraway shrugged. "They could have thought the monsters would provide a ready-made security system. In the infested regions they wouldn't have to fear discovery. Then again, the more inaccessible bits of Trabia would serve just as well for that."

"The monsters would more likely eat them than protect them," Squall snorted. "And if they found a defensible area, they'd find it hard to attack Galbadia from it. Unless you don't think Galbadia's their main objective anymore."

"To be honest, I don't think they have a main objective. They can cause trouble anywhere; there's nothing special about Galbadia in that respect."

Laguna shook his head. "If they want to cause trouble in Esthar they're too late. This city still acts like it's under siege. There's far too many troops wandering around for them to be able to do anything at all. It's more likely they'd go to Balamb or the ex-Galbadian city states."

"You're right," General Caraway admitted. "Still, you should be on your guard. And keep listening for news of attacks on other countries. If we get a chance to stop this, we'll have to take it. Anything might happen if we don't."

They carried on talking for over an hour. The army commander present wanted to know the kind of thing to expect if the Galbadians ever launched an attack. The SeeDs wanted to know the extent of Seifer's involvement in the goings-on in Galbadia. As far as Caraway knew it was minimal. Squall looked like he didn't believe a word of that. Laguna watched him sideways as he quizzed Caraway. _Maybe I know something about you after all. I know you would rather believe in life after death than believe any good of Seifer Almasy._

Xu pushed her section's report pile forwards with a sigh. "I doubt talking any longer will clear up anything else. Permission to retire?"

"Go ahead," Laguna shrugged, silently hoping someone would volunteer to stay and help him and Squall collate all the latest information about which ground had been cleared. But every one of the others was heading for the door. Kiros flashed him a tired smile from the door; Laguna realised with a wrench that they'd all been overworking. The SeeDs would be on the go in six hours. They needed time to recover before the morning.

That would leave Squall alone with him for the rest of the night - something Laguna wanted to avoid. If Squall were to be believed, he'd nearly been killed venturing into a new zone. Fighting off an attack on the barricades at the city limits, Laguna had lost two soldiers to an Elnoyle's venom. They were both on edge. As long as there was someone else in the room he could relax a little, he could be sure there were some lines Squall would never cross. But whenever they were alone together he couldn't stop worrying their professional relationship might crumble at any second.

An aide and two bodyguards were waiting to escort General Caraway to the guestrooms. With them was Ellone, beaming a welcome for the Galbadian leader. Laguna smiled and blew his foster daughter a kiss; she grinned at him and Squall in turn before turning her attention back to Caraway. 

"Welcome back to Esthar, General. I hope you'll stay longer this time; maybe you could see it as a vacation from responsibility?" There was little anybody could do when faced with a relentlessly cheerful Ellone. General Caraway allowed her to lead him away, gravely saluting Laguna before he did so. Laguna wordlessly returned the gesture, and smiled again at Elle as she left his field of vision.

The door clicked shut. Almost at once Squall said, "Seeing as just the two of us have all this to get through, I guess we'd better start." He gestured pointedly to the reports stacked on the table. 

"You're right." Laguna collected a data sheaf from the city patrols and slowly wandered over to the map of Esthar that hung on the wall. He started marking off newly explored districts, supposedly clean areas that a new batch of monsters had moved into, areas those monsters had been persuaded to move out of. It was automatic work he could do without thinking now. Squall kept frowning at the reports he picked up, like he expected them to change to fit what he believed. _Ain't going to happen,_ Laguna thought. _Don't even think about it. Thinking doesn't help anything._

They worked in silence for close on an hour and a half. Laguna kept half an eye on Squall. The boy kept pressing his lips together like he wanted to say something but wasn't sure if he should. If it was something that needed to be said . . . but most likely he was keeping himself from starting an argument. Laguna kicked himself mentally. That was their problem. They always thought the worst about each other. If he could start thinking nicely about Squall the whole time, it might be the start they needed.

Almost on cue Squall muttered a curse and ran over to the OUT tray on the side table. "What is it?" Laguna demanded.

"I just realised I read my last four sets of coordinates back to front. I thought it was strange it looked like we'd got as far as the Sorceress Memorial . . . Damn!"

"These things happen."

"Not to me." He rummaged through the tray till he found his reports. "I don't make mistakes." He pulled the inaccurate markers out and wearily started replacing them. Laguna rolled his eyes.

"Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. Look, we don't need to work straight through. Want a break for a couple of minutes?"

For a moment he thought Squall would refuse, but the boy nodded eventually. "Yeah. That'd be good." He dropped his remaining reports back on the table, sank down into a chair. For half a second he covered his face with his hands and Laguna thought he was going to open up. But then Squall straightened up and looked over his shoulder at Laguna. "Are you carrying on?"

_Why? Are you going to refuse to rest if I go on? In that case . . ._ "No, just finishing my handful," he reassured Squall, matching actions to words and resisting the temptation to point out that there was no need for them to work in tandem. "Like a quick drink?"

"Why not?" Squall sounded like he didn't care one way or the other. Laguna didn't reply, just fished a brandy decanter and a couple of glasses out of the side cupboard. He couldn't get away with drinking much. Maybe with soda water . . . 

"You think we're doing the right thing?" he asked, finally finding the siphon. _More water than brandy for me, I think . . ._

"With what?"

"Throwing all we have at the monsters to try and kill them off quickly. Not keeping many reserves in barracks so we can rotate units."

"Why would that be a mistake?"

"Because at any moment we could find we've got a couple of million monsters charging towards the city from the south," Laguna pointed out, passing Squall his drink and moving the decanter to the table. "And we might have a new problem any day."

Squall shrugged, taking the glass without a word of thanks. "Yeah, Seifer and a few Galbadian drop-outs. I've got three hundred people here and you've got a whole army. I doubt we'll have any trouble."

Laguna shook his head. "There's something you've forgotten."

"Such as?" Squall asked frostily.

"The kind of men Seifer's going to have with him. Look, in any army you've got a lot of good people, but there's always a few bad nuts. Bullying sergeants. Vicious troopers. Seifer might have been one if you all had ever let him into SeeD. They're people who don't just follow orders to do bad things, they enjoy following them. They like holding something over people, they like hurting others. That's the kind of man we're going to find in Seifer's gang. I don't want a mob of them running all over. Not here, not anywhere."

"I hadn't thought of that," Squall admitted. He downed the brandy shot and refilled the glass in one motion. "I hadn't guessed he could inspire that much loyalty."

"He's willing to give them what they want. A better commander wouldn't be."

"Yeah, OK, I didn't think of it. Satisfied?"

"As usual." Laguna held Squall's blue-eyed gaze for a second. Anger and bitterness and a kind of pain reflected back to him. _It's not all my fault. Why can't you see that, you stubborn child?_ "You don't need to wear yourself out running all over Esthar," he said more softly. "Privilege of command. You don't need to put yourself into the frontline squads. Next time, why don't you take a light patrol?"

"Because I'm good at frontline work." Squall sipped at his brandy again, staring off into the distance. The low lighting played round his face, shadowing it, making him look almost like a painting of himself in Tragic Hero mode. "And say if I put someone else on our team instead of me. Suppose that someone got killed on the first strike because they weren't ready to work under that kind of pressure. How am I meant to feel then?"

"If you can't feel prepared to lose people under your command, don't be in command. I mean it, Squall." 

"Whatever." He shrugged, throwing the advice aside. "I meant to ask you. OK if I skip this tomorrow evening?"

"Why?"

"So I can get an early night. Rinoa says she's going to handcuff me to the bed if I don't start taking more care of myself."

"Whatever turns you on."

"You're angry with me."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to."

_OK. If he doesn't want the lie, go for the truth._ "Don't you think this looks a bit like you're ignoring your duty?" he asked sarcastically.

"As a matter of fact, yes it does. But when that Behemoth gored me earlier I remembered I have a bit of a duty to myself as well."

"I get it. Damned if I do and damned if I don't, right?"

"You what?"

"You set this up so whether I complain or I don't complain, I'm doing the wrong thing."

He stared at Laguna for a moment. "Don't flatter yourself."

"Oh, you set it up so you could always decide you were doing the wrong thing. Like tormenting yourself, don't you, Squall?"

He knocked back the rest of the brandy and set the glass down so hard Laguna was sure he'd broken it. "Think that if you like. I don't care. Maybe I just think people should fulfil their obligations." And that was way below the belt. Laguna opened his mouth to shout something back and realised he didn't know what to say. 

Squall stalked to the door, adding over his shoulder, "And maybe I think nobody who works twenty-four/seven should be capable of fulfilling their obligations, except that the evidence to the contrary is too substantial to be ignored."

"So I win a contest I didn't know I'd entered. Clever of me."

"Whatever." And the bitterness was shining in Squall's eyes. "See you in the morning." He slammed the door behind him.

"I'm looking forward to it, don't you worry," Laguna muttered, silently damning his son's pride and vainly wishing things could be different. He rested his head in his hands for a second, then got up and pulled over the next sheaf of status reports from the SeeDs. Flicking through the pile, he walked up to the map. So what if Squall had left him to finish up on his own? He'd got used to managing on little sleep after Raine died. He hadn't been able to cope with the nightmares and had turned insomniac instead. It was sometimes useful.

"So this area's clear now," he said to himself aloud, adding another marker to the map and tossing a report into the OUT tray. "This area was worked through for the second time . . ."

**********************

Squall wandered aimlessly through the Palace corridors, reflecting that it wasn't that he should have stuck at the first drink. It was more that he never should have had that one at all. He was way too drained for alcohol to be a good idea. Not that he was acting drunk, he was sure of that. It just made the sore places inside his head hurt all the more.

_Tired. Can't see an end to this assignment, when I just want to get the Garden back to Balamb for a bit. Want to get out of Esthar. Want to take Ellone with me and have her near me and not have to worry about Laguna. Don't want to think about Laguna._

That, more than anything else, was the most unfair thing about the whole situation. Any other force commander would be free to worry about what Seifer might be doing with the missing Galbadian troops. He had to worry about what his father would do or say next to hurt him.

Between them they'd started the pattern no more than three days after Ultimecia's defeat. One of them would say the wrong thing, the other would take offence, and it would all go downhill from there. The first time, back in Esthar after the Garden's celebrations, had been the worst of all; it was lucky they'd been alone at the time. After that Squall had felt there was no way they could be friends, and not much of a way they could even be polite to each other. Laguna evidently felt the same.

_He took me up to the roof garden and told me he was my father. That Raine had died in childbirth, and he had been told I died as well. That he looked for Elle for years, and probably never found her because he was looking for a girl who'd gone alone to an orphanage, not one who'd come ready-packaged with a brother. That he was sorry about the whole crazy mistake. I should have left it all at that. I shouldn't have been so petty. I shouldn't have tried to hurt him. I just ended up hurting myself._

He'd asked Laguna if he was supposed to feel any different. Laguna had tried to cover that over, but Squall hadn't let him. He'd lashed out in anger at a man who was only trying to wave a truce flag at him. Somehow they'd wound up having a shouting match over which one of them had been responsible for Raine's death. The full bottle of Trabian whisky hadn't helped. Squall had eventually given up and marched off in a zigzag line. Laguna had tried to chase him but had wound up heading in the opposite direction. Squall remembered wondering which one of them would fall off the roof first, and whether they would both be eaten by the monsters that still prowled the city centre before that could happen. He didn't remember caring what happened to either of them. 

Eventually Rinoa and Ellone had organised their friends into search parties. Zell had found him asleep up there in the early hours of the morning and dragged him back downstairs so Rinoa could try and comfort him. It hadn't really worked. Apparently Laguna had broken an ankle falling asleep when halfway down the stairs. Squall could have wished Laguna a broken neck. He'd gone to bed angry, and had woken up not only angry but hung over. He'd pushed for them all to leave as soon as possible. He didn't bother to say goodbye to his father.

Since then they'd treated each other as distant acquaintances - which was almost exactly what they were. He kept telling himself he could live with accepting that truth. It was just that he couldn't always shut out the little voice that kept whispering, _'If your own father hates you, what kind of person are you?'_

"Found you." Squall jumped. He swung round to face Irvine, who was leaning against a door with his hat pulled low over his eyes. "And it took me a while, I can tell you. Half the bloody security cameras in here are down. I couldn't track you."

"What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you. To be precise, your woman phoned Selphie and told her to tell me to get myself out of her bed and over here before you and Laguna slaughtered each other. Hell, Squall, I was _asleep_. Next time, you give me notice before you do these things, OK? That, or you tell Rinoa to go bother someone else." Squall closed his eyes in despair. She had to go on dragging other people into this.

"Never dreamt of coming herself, did she?" he muttered.

"She's keeping your pillow warm, like Selphie's keeping mine. Be grateful to her." Irvine stared hard at him for a moment, then deliberately put both hands on Squall's forearms and pushed him back into the wall.

"What in hell -"

"Be quiet and listen." Irvine studied him for a long moment, then he said, "You're tired and you're drunk so I'm going to say this very clearly, and I'm only going to say it once. Stop being an asshole."

"Talk English, Irvine."

"OK, I'll be plainer. Make up your mind you're going to get along with Laguna for the duration of this mission. Or you're going to have a lot of people very angry with you. You might recognise some of their names. Some of them you might even care about."

Squall shook his friend's hands off him. Halfway drunk he might be, but he didn't need to be insulted. "That is our business -"

"It turned into Garden business the day he hired us. You want Xu to call Cid and tell him you're no longer fit for duty? She's thinking of it, you know. You might be her superior but she knows what Garden needs. And she knows what you need, and I think you do too. You're just too pig-headed to see it."

"See what? Irvine, I don't -"

"You don't do anything. You never have. You don't even think unless you can help it. I know that much about you." Irvine pulled off his hat and ran a hand through his hair. "Look, I know he gets on your nerves. But he's your father. You have a blood relation alive on this planet. I don't. I wish to all the gods I did. Whether or not I would like them doesn't matter. Didn't you ever wonder who you were? Where you came from? Why you'd been left in an orphanage?"

_I never cared about where I was or who I was or where I was going. All I ever knew was that life hurt so badly I wanted to get out of it. I hate him because it's his fault I was ever born. Rinoa or no Rinoa, there are still times I wish I was dead._ "Not really."

"You're bloody different from the rest of us, then." Irvine slammed his hat back onto his head. "Well, I tried. Don't blame me when everyone walks out on you because you're too pig-headed to reason with."

"Irvine!" The guy didn't answer, just walked off towards the Palace wing Laguna had turned over to SeeD for the duration. "Hey," Squall tried, running after him, "stop and tell me -"

"Tell you what? You try and tell me what I can say that'll get through to you!" Now it was Irvine's turn to shake him off. "Squall Leonhart, _grow up_."

That did it. Nobody had the right to tell him to grow up. No-one had - or maybe they . . . "Look, Irvine," Squall pleaded with his friend's retreating back, "please. Please have patience."

"You don't seem to have any." Irvine kept walking.

Squall caught him up, grabbed his arm again. "I can change, I -"

"If you can do that, why haven't you already? When you should be able to see how wrong you are?" 

He couldn't answer. Some deeply buried doubt stopped him making the retort that would have driven Irvine away. _Maybe I am wrong. But even if I am, it's too late. Because if I am in the wrong, I've done so much to hurt him he could never forgive me. He's always going to hate me and I'm always going to think it's my fault._

He stumbled away from Irvine, his head aching more and more every second. "Squall," he thought he heard Irvine say. He just kept on walking. _Rinoa. I've got to go to Rinoa. She knows how to stop the pain._ The floor kept moving up and down, trying to throw him off. He staggered into the wall and put one hand out to steady himself. He closed his eyes for a second; when he opened them Irvine was alongside him. "Come on, Squall," he was saying, putting an arm round his shoulders. "You've had enough for one day. I'm going to take you home."

He tried to straighten up, or at least lean on Irvine rather than the wall. It didn't quite work. "I'm going to fall asleep here," he mumbled.

"No you aren't. Get off the bathroom door, Squall. Someone's trying to come out."

"Door? Huh?" Squall looked round hazily. Irvine took advantage of the movement and pulled him upright.

"One foot in front of the other. Come on, Squall, you can do it. I'm not carrying you back. It's too far and you're too heavy."

"Can't manage." Behind him, someone pushed open the door he'd been leaning against. "Got to - do it - haven't I -"

Something hard slammed down onto the back of his head. He cried out and stumbled away from Irvine, barely hearing the guy's exclamation. He felt himself crumpling to the floor. Everything was fading away. He barely realised he was being dragged back into the bathroom. Just as he passed out he felt the next blow.

************************

Rinoa sat bolt upright, pushing the sheets back. What was that? She hated it when she got half-impressions of something bad happening, or nightmares that turned out to be warnings in disguise. She tried to Scan the whole Palace for danger. It didn't work. It almost never did.

Groaning, she lay back down and wrapped herself up in the coverlet. She was probably jumping at shadows because it was so late. Squall would reassure her when he finally got back. He always did. It was in the job description. She counted the tiles in the ceiling and waited for Squall to come to her. Eventually, she fell asleep again.

*************************

The three men stared at the two prone bodies on the bathroom floor. Finally one of them said, "They were both on the list, but do we need to take them both? He said if we got this one . . ." and he nudged Squall with one foot.

"He meant we wouldn't have to go on looking for any of the rest. Let's look at the other as a bonus. A free sample."

"Yeah, maybe." The first man opened the door cautiously. "There's nobody coming. Let's go."

"Just a moment." The man who had not yet spoken reached down and tugged the lion-headed ring off Squall's finger. He tucked it into the brim of the cowboy hat that had come off the other boy's head during the fight. "Let's not make it too hard for them to work it out."

"We mustn't make it too obvious, either."

"Like this?" The guy opened the window and sent Irvine's hat sailing down to the courtyard a hundred feet below.

"That's better. Now come on, before anyone finds us."

"OK." He dragged Squall's limp body over his shoulder. "I'm with you."

* * *

**(to be continued...)**


	3. Chapter Three: Selphie

**A.N.:** Another day, another exam (only two left in my entire life, thank God), another chapter. Thanks again for reviewing, everyone... Baconfat: I never really bought the whole Laguna-is-a-complete-idiot-yet-still-manages-not-to-leave-office thing. He does have so much energy, and he'd have to be far more of an idiot than he's ever portrayed as to fail to put some of that energy to good use. I'm glad you like the SeeDs' interaction - and it might just get better because this is the first chapter featuring the viewpoint of my favourite supporting character, Selphie. (Who I hated till I tried to write from her POV.) Sakaki22: how did you guess? Djiinxx: I think I'm corrupting you... 

**DISCLAIMER:** They're not mine. I think they're glad.

**WARNING:** The PG-13 bit applies from here on in. A little swearing, and some violence.

* * *

CHAPTER THREE - SELPHIE

Selphie opened her eyes and scowled. Irvine had gone off to breakfast without her! He almost never did that. He knew she liked it when he was there to kiss her awake. Selphie sighed and scrambled out of bed, picking her work clothes off the floor and dressing half-heartedly. Maybe he'd woken up very early and hadn't wanted to wake her by tossing around. That had to be it. His side of the bed wasn't even warm anymore. It was so nice to know he thought about her that much.

Irvine's gun was still where he'd left it the night before. Selphie glanced at the clock and clapped a hand to her mouth. It couldn't be half past seven already! Grabbing their weapons, she ran out of the room. 

"I'm late, I'm late, I'm late," she panted, clapping her hand over the lift call button. Why did there have to be so many floors to this building? And why couldn't Irvine have come back and woken her up, or at least called her mobile? "Ooh, that man," Selphie muttered as the lift finally arrived. She spent the whole journey down deciding how to punish Irvine for forgetting to give her a wake-up call.

"I think I'll switch his underwear with Xu's when he's out of the way," she announced as she ran into the SeeDs' cafeteria. "Or maybe I'll put engine oil in his shoes. Hi, Quisty," she added in her friend's direction. Quistis looked up and smiled. She even managed to look elegant sitting on the edge of a table eating a bagel.

"What's the matter?"

"Irvy. He knows I sleep late whenever I can. He forgot to wake me up. Do you know where he is?"

Quistis shook her head. "He was out of here before I came down."

"I've got lots of time to put my plan into action then."

"What plan?" Zell demanded from the doorway. "Aren't you guys through yet? We've got monster butt to kick."

"Yeah, in a second." Selphie grabbed herself a bacon sandwich, the nicest portable snack on offer. "Are the others at the Ragnarok already?"

"I guess. I just saw Rinoa going over. Irvine and Squall must have left early." Zell aimed a punch at an invisible monster. "We get new ground again today. I can't wait."

"Me neither."

"Hey, Sefie, what're you doing with Irvine's gun?" Zell asked as they left to go to the airstation.

"He left without it. I thought I'd bring it and save him a trip. Serves him right if I hide it."

"Why?" That led to the story of how Irvine had neglected his angel, and to a discussion of Selphie's plans for revenge that took them the whole way to the Palace entrance. Zell and Quistis were both laughing by the time they got off the lifter.

"Hey, there!" Selphie swung round. Laguna was leaning out of the window of a passing armoured vehicle. "When you guys see Squall tell him tonight's leave is cancelled. Got it?"

"Sure. Why?"

"Because I'm damned if I'll let him skip two sessions in a row!" Laguna pulled his head back into the armoured car, which promptly zoomed off. Quistis stared after the car looking puzzled.

"What was that all about?" she wondered aloud.

"Forget it," dismissed Selphie, pushing Laguna's message to the back of her mind. "Let's go. Mustn't keep Irvine waiting, must we?" Zell laughed and tucked his arm into hers as they walked.

There was still no quick way to get round Esthar, worse luck. Selphie would have said it was way too big for walking round, if she hadn't needed to get used to all the short cuts at double speed as soon as they got here. Hey, seven months . . . this assignment was going on forever. Some of the SeeDs were being rotated off it onto different teams stationed in other places, as more personnel became available to take their places.

Despite the fact she was working for Laguna, Selphie hoped she and Irvine would be moved out soon. Going on another mission would feel like a vacation. Then they would come back and feel happy to help out again. That wasn't to say Selphie hadn't ditched her crush on Laguna a long time ago, but she still thought he was a great guy and she couldn't see why Squall didn't get along with him. Or maybe she could. He was too nice for Squall to like him much. She liked Squall but he had faults. There was no way he wouldn't be jealous of Laguna's sunny nature.

As they entered the airstation, a flash of blue round the Ragnarok's feet caught Selphie's attention. Rinoa was looking out for them. Squall was probably storming around inside, all impatient to be going. He wouldn't be pleased with them for being late. It sometimes seemed like he couldn't wait to get out of Esthar of a morning. And this morning it looked like he'd already had an argument with Laguna that he would want to get away from.

_Well, I can blame Irvy, and I will_, Selphie thought to herself as they approached the ship. _Then Squall can go shout at him while I fly us to our first patrol post. That would even be sensible._

Rinoa was, indeed, sitting on the edge of the Ragnarok's ramp. She looked up as they approached. "You guys took your time."

"Yeah, it's Irvine's fault," Selphie laughed. "He'll get an earful from me when I get in there."

"Why wait? You want to get going before you get talking, or do you just want to double our chances of crashing straight into a mountain?" Rinoa did a headcount, then looked like she was going to blow a fuse. "OK, now Squall is really getting on my nerves. First he stays out till all hours, then he gets up way before schedule, now he's spending so much time yelling at his father that he can't be bothered to get here on time. I ask you. And all when he's been moaning at me that he needs more time off-duty. Sometimes I think he's deliberately going looking for an injury serious enough to get him freighted off this mission."

"You get out the wrong side of bed this morning, Rin?" Zell grinned.

"I had to rush my breakfast. I'm not feeling well. Squall's going to be my all-round scapegoat." Rinoa stood up, looking like she wanted to stamp her feet and shout. "Come on, let's get set up. Where did you hide Irvine?" she threw over her shoulder.

Selphie double-took. "You mean he's not here already?"

Rinoa turned round, looking puzzled. "You said he was with you."

"No. It's his fault we were late because he never bothered to wake me up this morning. Rinoa, are you saying he didn't come up with you?"

"Yeah. I am." She seemed puzzled. "Unless he's hiding in here - no. The ship was locked from the outside when I got here."

Zell looked backwards and forwards at Selphie and Rinoa. "And - you said Squall wasn't here either?" he checked.

"Are you going deaf, Zell? Yes, I did." And now Rinoa looked as frightened as Selphie felt. "He could be still with Laguna -"

"He isn't. We saw Sir Laguna when we were on our way up. He wasn't with Squall. He - he even looked like . . ." Selphie trailed off.

"Like he was furious with Squall because he hasn't seen him all morning," Quistis finished. "Where on earth are they? Could they have gone off somewhere together in the middle of the night?"

"Like, where?" Zell demanded. "Squall's not so fond of Esthar that he'd go running over it at all hours. And you said it, Rinoa. He needs his beauty sleep."

"Selphie," Rinoa said suddenly, "I have a thought. Did Irvine ever come back to your room last night?"

"You what?"

"After he went looking for Squall."

That was an idea. Maybe he . . . "I don't know," she admitted. "I mean, the sheets were messed up but he'd been in bed with me earlier. I don't know if he came back."

"It's just I don't know if Squall ever got to bed. I didn't look when I got up. I just assumed he'd been there. Now I think about it, I don't think he had."

Zell sat down where Rinoa had been waiting for them earlier. "What happened last night?"

Rinoa shrugged. "He was late getting back from compiling reports with Laguna. I asked Selphie to ask Irvine to ask him to come home."

"Here's an idea. Maybe Squall and Laguna had a row last night and Irvine dragged him off somewhere to talk about it because he realised Squall's going to kill either himself or Laguna if this goes on too long. Maybe, just thinking about what Irvine thinks cheering someone up means, alcohol came in somewhere. And maybe they didn't want to wake you two so they went to sleep it off somewhere else."

Rinoa nodded reluctantly. "Where?"

"I don't know. Anywhere. They've got their own rooms, haven't they? They could be crashed out at either of their own places."

"Squall's room's next to mine, so we can switch over easily if we ever lose the floor in there. I don't remember noticing the door go last night. Still leaves Irvine's room and the whole rest of the Palace, I guess." Rinoa shook her head. "Zell, nice idea. I want to believe it. I don't think I do. I just have a really bad feeling."

"So what do you think happened?"

"I've no idea."

"I don't think it really matters what happened." Selphie turned to Quistis, ready to argue, but the ex-instructor silenced her with a look. "Whatever went on last night we need to find them. So we go back to the Palace and start looking everywhere we can."

Zell jumped off the ramp. "Good call, Quisty." As Rinoa locked up the Ragnarok, he went on, "Where do we start?"

"The HQ, then our rooms to see if there's a message for any of us, then the Security office."

"Why there?"

"Whatever they did last night, they'll have been picked up on CCTV. We can trace them on that. If it comes to it. If they did wander off drunk somewhere, Squall'll want to keep it quiet." Zell said something rude about Squall's ego. Nobody paid any attention. He quietened down; he often did when people ignored him.

All the way back to the Palace Selphie kept a lookout for Irvine. He was taller than almost all the men in Esthar were; if he was wandering about the city he should be obvious. She didn't see him anywhere. When they reached the Palace they split up without even talking about it. Quistis and Zell headed for the operations room. Selphie went to the bedrooms with Rinoa.

Being in her room - their room - felt strange. It smelt of Irvine's cologne and the residue from his guns. She picked up the papers scattered across the nightstand, checking there wasn't a note here that he'd left for her to say where he'd gone. Nothing. Shaking her head in exasperation, she ran down the hall to Irvine's own bedroom. He sometimes came back for more clothes and little knick-knacks he'd forgotten he wanted, and he might have left her a letter here. But the room looked just like it had the last time she'd been in it, a month ago.

On her way back downstairs she checked Quistis' neat bedroom. No note here either. Selphie was feeling scared again. Irvine had his faults, but he would never leave like this with no clue or no warning. He did play practical jokes, but not at work. And Squall would never have done that kind of thing, even to irritate Laguna.

"Were they in there? Have they been there?" she called anxiously to Quistis and Zell as she ran down the main corridor towards the ops room. They didn't need to shake their heads to tell her they hadn't.

"That's it," Quistis said decisively. "We ask Palace Security."

"Squall's gonna -" began Zell in an undertone.

"What if they're hurt somewhere?" Quistis demanded. "What if they really did pass out somewhere we'd never find them? Come on. You know it's the right thing to do." She didn't wait for a reply but marched off in the direction of the Security office, arm in arm with Rinoa.

"They're big boys now, Quisty," Zell muttered, but chased after her, pulling Selphie along with him.

"This is irregular," the officer on the Security desk was protesting. "Technically it is an infringement of privacy to -"

"Something's the matter with Squall," Rinoa interrupted. "Irvine too, I'd guess. I think they want their privacy invading." The man was looking her over like he expected her wings to sprout any second. Selphie guessed she'd convinced him. He was still shaking his head but he was heading into the back room, talking to someone there. Selphie heard the words 'cameras' and 'patrol'. Then the security officer came back over to them carrying a report sheaf.

"They're looking over the CCTV footage now. However, it's only fair to tell you there is no mention of them in the report from last night's security staff, nor were any disturbances noticed." Rinoa nodded once before floating to the nearest chair. Selphie sat down beside her; why were all the chairs in the Palace's public areas so uncomfortable? She jumped up again a moment later and bounced over to the window, looking out at all the cars and people going by, searching for the one she'd lost. This was better than sitting on a cold hard chair.

"Zell," Quistis said after quarter of an hour.

"What?"

"Stop pacing. Sit still."

"Sure." He dropped into a chair. Ten seconds later he got up and started pacing again. Quistis didn't say anything. Selphie went back to watching cars.

"I'm going to call Xu," Rinoa announced, pulling out her mobile.

"She might know something," Quistis agreed. Selphie turned to look at her. She was twisting her hands in her lap. _She doesn't want to say it,_ Selphie thought. _She and Xu are jointly second-in-command. She wants us all to remember that but she doesn't want to talk about it. Because that would mean saying Squall's missing._

"Xu? This is Rinoa. Hi. Listen, you seen Squall or Irvine this morning? It's just they've vanished - no. I'm not sure. Well, without them - we were scheduled to be an advance team; we're not endangering anyone - I know. Hang on," and she lowered the phone. "Xu says do we want her to come back here."

Zell shook his head. "Nothing she can do."

Quistis murmured an agreement. "You could ask her to ask all the squad leaders to check with their people and see if they've seen them. They are kind of recognisable. Someone might know something."

"Xu? Did you get that?" Rinoa checked. "OK, then. I'll call if we learn anything." She knocked off the phone. "She'll do that for us." Almost at once she dialled another number.

"Rinoa, who . . .?" started Quistis.

"Laguna - oh, hi, it's Rinoa. Did Squall come see you this morning? I've no idea - yes - I've tried. I can't sense him. That doesn't mean anything, though - OK, sure." She hung up. "He says he'll ask around."

They all looked up at the sound of another security officer coming out of the CCTV room. Selphie caught his breath. The man looked worried. He was gesturing for the SeeDs and the sorceress to join him in the back room. Selphie jumped off the windowsill and ran after him.

"Have you found Irvine?" she demanded.

He shook his head. "Not exactly." Selphie stared at the banks of TV screens, then snapped her attention back to the security man as he addressed the four of them. "There was a sighting of Mr Leonhart at quarter to three, heading down the back corridor of the top floor away from the President's office. At about the same time Mr Kinneas was seen leaving the SeeDs' living area."

"So, what's the problem?" Zell asked him. "You see them once, you follow them round on different cameras."

He looked embarrassed. "Normally that would be true. Unfortunately, several of our cameras were down last night."

"That shouldn't have happened," Quistis said, shaking her head. "I know you fix them as soon as they go down."

"They should never have broken in the first place," the man retorted. "They'd all been serviced less than a month ago. They stopped recording a while after midnight last night. Apparently there was the same problem with every broken camera. Our engineers spent all night working out what was wrong. They've only just gone back online."

"Sabotage?" Zell checked.

"It could hardly be anything else." The man fixed all four of them with a hard stare. "I'm telling you this because you are SeeDs. You understand the problem here. We don't know what happened and we're trying to find out who damaged the cameras, and when. Until then we can't know what happened, either to the cameras or to your friends." 

Rinoa was nodding, her face dead white. "We understand. If it's OK with you, we're going to inform the President and our fellow commanders at once."

He nodded, sympathy on his face. Everyone in Esthar knew about Squall and Rinoa. Probably everyone in the world did. "Tell them to keep this information confidential, though."

"We will."

Quistis had her arm through Rinoa's. She was leading the younger woman out of the room. If Rinoa's legs felt anything like Selphie's, she would need the support. Zell was looking at her like the security man had looked at Rinoa earlier. He put his arm round Selphie's waist and hugged her to him.

"Come on, Sefie. Don't be so scared." He could probably feel her trembling. She didn't care what he thought about that, she just looked back at him, wanting him to say Irvine would be OK. He didn't say the words. Instead, he pulled her out of the room after Rinoa and Quistis.

The other two women were waiting at the end of the corridor. Rinoa was sitting on one of the couches scattered randomly around the Palace, looking up at Quistis like she didn't know what to do next. Quistis looked like she was trying to hide her fear and be the responsible adult. Like usual. Too bad she hadn't managed it. "We gotta search everywhere," Zell declared. "They could still be here."

"Fat chance." Rinoa spoke listlessly. "Squall and I are linked together, knight to sorceress. When I was in our room earlier I tried to find him using the link. I couldn't trace him. I can't always, but I normally can when he's close by."

Trying to find someone using a special ability . . . "Ellone!" exclaimed Selphie, the blood rushing back to her cheeks. "Elle can find them, by looking back five seconds in time. She can ask them where they are now!" As soon as she said it she felt happy again. Elle was Irvy and Squall's big sister. She would be able to find them; she knew them so well. Selphie pulled Rinoa to her feet and dragged her off in the direction of the elevators.

Ellone was exactly where Selphie had expected her to be, in Laguna's office handling his non-urgent paperwork. She'd acted as an additional secretary to her foster father since she'd moved to Esthar after the war. Nobody, least of all Laguna, had ever asked her to help out, but she had made it clear she was very happy doing it. She looked up from the pile of reports as Selphie ran into the room. "Elle, you've got to help us!" she almost shouted.

"With what?" Ellone sounded amused.

"Irvine's vanished."

"So has Squall," added Rinoa, behind her.

Ellone went white. "By vanished, you mean -"

"Nobody's seen them since last night," interrupted Selphie. "But you can get through to them! You can ask them where they are, then we can find them! Because it - it's not a joke, we're worried . . ."

Elle shook her head. "You're right, it's not a joke. If Squall's in one piece when I find him -"

Rinoa managed a shaky laugh. "Hey, he's my boyfriend. I get to kill him. Can you send me after them, Elle?"

"I'll go myself. Hang on . . ." Ellone closed her eyes and leant back in her chair. To anybody who didn't know her, it would look like she'd fallen asleep; Selphie knew what that stillness meant. She bit her lip and watched Ellone's motionless face for what seemed like minutes.

Eventually Elle opened her eyes - but the expression on her face was not one of relief but one of fear. "I can't get through."

"You know why?" asked Zell, almost scared of the answer he would get.

"I can't tell whether they're sleeping, unconscious or dead - or whether someone or something is stopping me from connecting."

"What could do that?"

"I don't know. A sorceress could - but there isn't another one. Rinoa would know."

"Would I?" the black-haired girl asked.

"Matron said so." Ellone scowled. "I think something is getting in my way. I tried to go back to what they did yesterday evening. I couldn't do that either."

"Dr Odine might know what could block your powers," Zell suggested.

"Don't mention that man," Elle shuddered. "But I guess you could ask him. Just don't tell me about it, if you do go to see him."

Zell looked from one woman to another, and sighed. "You all want me to go talk to him."

"Your idea, your shout," Rinoa shrugged. "Think we want to give him the chance to do any 'experiments', anyway?" Odine had repeatedly begged to be allowed to examine not only Rinoa but Selphie and Quistis too, because he couldn't understand how they could cast spells without drawing them, let alone how they could control such powerful magic as Selphie's 'The End' or Quistis' 'Shockwave Pulsar'. Selphie couldn't understand her magic either, but she didn't care. All that mattered was that she could use it.

Zell groaned and headed for the door. "Be quick," Quistis called after him. "We'll search the grounds."

Ellone shook her head. "Don't get excited, Quisty. I don't want you to be too upset if you don't find anything."

"We'll try and keep that in mind. If Zell comes back here, tell him we're starting with the roof garden and working down."

"Do you want me to help you, or do you want me to try and reach Squall along the link between us?" Rinoa asked as they went up the side stair to the roof.

"Bit of both." Quistis looked back at her. "Be truthful, Rinoa; do you think you would know if he'd died?"

"Yes."

The blonde held her gaze for a moment. "I believe you. Keep trying, but don't waste your time if you aren't getting anywhere."

"You're being sensible again." Quistis smiled.

Selphie stared around as she got out into the fresh air. She'd never been up here; she hadn't known how fantastic the view was. She wished she could show it to Irvine. _Of course I can. I'll bring him up here when he comes home._ "There's so many little hiding places up here," she fretted.

"Yeah, it wouldn't be the first time Squall's passed out under one of these palm trees," Rinoa muttered. She made a beeline for the closest bench. "I'll join you guys if I don't get anywhere in the next five minutes." Quistis nodded and headed north along the roof. Selphie took that as a cue to go south.

An hour later she made it back to the centre. Rinoa, looking glum, was working her way round the air vent hatches clustered together in the middle of the Palace roof. Quistis was sitting on Rinoa's bench. "No luck, guys?" Selphie asked.

Quistis shook her head. "They're not here. Let's go on down." 

Selphie swung open the heavy door but stopped on the top step. Someone was running up the stairs, not even breathing hard. She hurried down to see who it was.

"Zell! Get anything?"

He shook his hair, blond spikes waving. "He's 'looking into it'. It'll be days before he finds anything." He scowled. "And I had to listen to him saying, 'If I had had ze opportunity to research zis power, maybe I vould have ze answer, but no . . .' Hyne! I hate him."

"You're not the only one," answered Rinoa, passing Zell on the stair. "We're done here. Quisty says we should go on down, looking in the bits of the Palace that don't get used very often."

"Right on."

They spent the rest of the day searching the Palace and the surrounding area. None of them found any sign of the missing men; neither did the Palace guards and officials under orders to watch out for anything unusual. Selphie felt like crying but she held back the tears. Any time she spent feeling sorry for herself would be better spent looking for Irvine and Squall.

But when the sun set and they still hadn't been found, and when the SeeDs and the Estharian soldiers hadn't run into them on any of their patrols, Selphie finally let herself cry a little. When she sneaked into the back of Laguna's conference room, full of worried SeeDs instead of military men, her eyes were still red. She hoped nobody would notice.

Laguna had just returned from patrol. He'd called the meeting as soon as he'd heard Squall and Irvine hadn't turned up. Now, as he listened to people filling in the details he didn't know about the disappearance, his face was darkening every second. "People don't dematerialise," Quistis finished up. "But it looks like they have done this time."

"If Squall's OK I'll strangle him," Laguna muttered. "Pulling a stunt like this at a time like this isn't funny."

"He's not trying to annoy you," Ellone replied, sounding cross with her uncle.

"Sure looks like it," he muttered. "So. Anybody got any better ideas?"

"Let's be logical," Xu said, her face hardening. "They haven't contacted us since last night. They would know we would be worried about them. That means something's stopping them getting in touch. They must be injured somewhere - or dead."

"There's no record they left the Palace," Kiros reminded her. "None of the vehicles they might have taken were gone this morning. If they're injured they must be close by." He looked closely at Ward for a moment. "Ward says they probably aren't dead either. No bodies."

"So what happened?"

"I'm thinking about the broken security cameras. Say someone broke in last night to steal something. Say Irvine and Squall caught them in the act, had a fight and lost it."

"Nothing missing," Xu pointed out. "Is there?"

"Don't think so," Ellone answered. "There's been no reports of a theft."

"So they might have kicked in some security system before they lost the fight," Kiros suggested. Ward shook his head, a gesture that needed no explanation.

"If they got killed by burglars they wouldn't have vanished," Selphie pointed out. "So it can't have happened." Irvine _couldn't_ be dead. He couldn't have left her.

Quistis took a deep breath. "The burglars might have kidnapped them."

They all looked at Laguna. For a moment the President didn't say anything, just stared off into space. Then he focussed on them and answered, "Maybe. I just don't buy it."

"Why not?"

He shook his head. For the first time in the six months they'd been in Esthar, he looked tired. "They've been gone, what, eighteen hours?"

"Yeah. So?"

"No ransom demand. If they'd been kidnapped, we should have had one by now."

Ellone and Rinoa were looking at each other, like they were thinking the same thing but neither of them wanted to say it. "Not if whoever's taken them doesn't want a ransom," Elle said at last. Rinoa was nodding, heartbreak in her eyes.

"Why wouldn't they?" Selphie asked in a small voice.

"Exactly what I say," Laguna echoed.

Ellone looked at her foster father, face sombre. "They might be planning something. They might want a hold over you, just in case. What if they - I don't know - didn't want Esthar to honour a mutual defence treaty, or something? Or if they wanted SeeD to pull out of some mission or other? Or if it really was thieves who took them, and they wanted you to hand over whatever they were after? What would you do if they threatened them?"

"Don't ask that question, Elle," Laguna groaned, looking away. Ellone rose and went to him, putting her hands on his shoulders soothingly. He leant into her. Some of the stress lines faded from his handsome face. "What gets me is no-one's seen anything. I mean, I was expecting people to say they might have seen a suspicious stranger around sometime last night who might have had something to do with it, but there's no t been one rumour. I don't get it. It's not human nature."

"People don't vanish!" Rinoa protested. "They've got to be somewhere on this planet."

"Where, and how did they get there?" Kiros demanded.

"I don't know," Rinoa whispered. One hand stole up to her mouth and she started chewing on her fingernails like she didn't know what she was doing. Selphie wanted to run to her friend and comfort her, but she couldn't'. She could only sit and draw the image of a tall, confident, smiling marksman on the sheet of paper at the back of her mind. _Irvine. Where are you?_

**********************

Pain swirled through his whole body, settling down to an incessant drumming when it reached his head. He couldn't think. He felt sick and weak. He wanted only to return to the endless blackness from which he had been so inexorably dragged. He opened his mouth to call to Rinoa, but could only manage a soft moan.

A hand lifted his chin. Water ran into his mouth. He swallowed automatically, choking on the second dose. Hand and water alike were withdrawn. _Another person. Here, with me. Where is here? Where am I? Rinoa, where are you?_

He tried to bring a hand up to his face and failed. _Get a grip, Squall. You know you can move._ He pulled at his hand again and met definite resistance.

The nausea was, thankfully, fading fast. The pain wasn't. Squall, shunted unwillingly towards consciousness, started thinking far faster than he wanted to. If he'd passed out somewhere he shouldn't be sitting almost upright in an uncomfortable chair. He shouldn't have been incapable of moving, either. He could just about remember what had happened - fighting with Laguna again - walking into Irvine - trying to make him understand what he thought was wrong - being - 

Being hit on the head and taken somewhere he didn't want to go. Squall opened his eyes and focused on the table in front of him. Military issue, no identifying marks. He tried to get up again. This time he realised the reason he couldn't move was that he was tied to his chair. _What in hell has happened?_

"You awake, Squall?" an idle voice asked from the other side of the room. "Took your time over it, I can tell you. You nearly had me worried there." Squall raised his aching head and looked across at the six-foot blond man leaning against the wall, one hand on his gunblade, the other holding a cigarette, smiling mockingly at him.

"Seifer," Squall said flatly.

"Long time no see, Puberty Boy. How's Rinoa?"

"All the better for not seeing you." Squall slowly ran his eyes round the six-by-eight room. No windows; two doors Seifer would stop him getting to even if he wasn't fastened down. A single uncovered bulb dangling from the ceiling provided the only light. The contents of his jacket pockets lay on the table next to Seifer's ashtray. Squall bit down on a curse. He wasn't in the habit of walking round the Palace armed, so Seifer hadn't got hold of the Lion Heart, but the collection on the table included his Esthar City security pass, his keycard for the Ragnarok, and the floppy disks holding the projected SeeD rotations for the next fortnight.

Squall tried his hardest to compose himself. This wasn't a disaster. As soon as anyone realised what had happened his security clearance would be cancelled. The squad movement details were heavily encrypted. And there was no reason on earth why Seifer would try and steal Selphie's spaceship.

"If you'd wanted to talk it might have been easier to phone," he remarked. _I will not panic._ "What is it you want?"

Seifer laughed. "As you guessed, all I want for now's a nice little chat. I mean, how long's it been?"

"Two years." Squall kept his voice flat. _If Seifer wants to play, let him._

"Long enough for you to stop hating me?"

"I never hated you. Except once; when you handed Rinoa to Adel I wanted to kill you." Squall kept his eyes on Seifer, wanting to see a flash of remorse over that incident. He didn't. "I have never hated you before or since. We were on different sides, that's all."

"Nothing personal?"

"As you say, nothing personal."

"Hmm. Do I believe you?" Seifer's smile faded and his eyes hardened. "For twelve months I sat in Fisherman's Horizon, waiting for someone to call and see how I was doing. Not once, _not once_, Squall, did anyone phone me or drop by or write to me. You all care so much, don't you?"

"You never phoned either." Now Squall couldn't stop his stomach tightening. There was a look in Seifer's green eyes he'd never seen there before.

"Why would I? What did you make me expect from you, other than abuse?" Seifer walked to the table and knocked his cigarette against the ashtray. "You've ignored me all our lives, Squall. Why should that change just because I needed your friendship for once?"

"Friendship." Squall reined in his runaway heartbeat and tried to think straight. Was Seifer blaming him for his exile? "You tortured me, tried to kill me and betrayed my girlfriend to an evil sorceress. I'd say indifference was the best thing you're likely to get from me." Seifer didn't reply. He was staring at Squall like he'd never seen him before. Suddenly he stopped leaning on the table and walked up to his prisoner. Squall tensed up for a second, half-expecting Seifer to hit him. Instead, Seifer stopped in front of him, then slowly walked round behind his back. Squall could feel the vampiric gaze on the back of his neck. _Don't get him too angry. Don't make this worse than it has to be._

"Interesting conclusion," Seifer said, his voice sounding hollow and strange. _I'm imagining things. He's talking just like he always does. _ "I'd love to know the logic behind it."

Despite himself Squall laughed harshly. "I grew up with nothing, Seifer. You have laid a claim to everything I've ever had - Rinoa, success as a SeeD, everything. You tried to take it from me. Oh, I know what you're going to say. You'll say that I've taken all you ever had from you. But you willingly gave it up to follow Ultimecia. You expect me to feel friendly towards someone -"

Seifer's hand came crashing down into the side of Squall's face. Squall choked back a cry of pain. The world hung frozen for a moment as he struggled to throw off the shock of the blow; then, suddenly, he was able to breathe again. Seifer sensed the moment arriving. Squall barely had time to cower in fear before Seifer hit him again.

Seifer didn't say anything for a long moment. Then he inhaled heavily and said, in a rapid voice, "Squall, I think now's the time to start laying some ground rules. We'll begin with a couple of simple observations. Firstly, I am in the better position here. You are tied to your chair and I am not. Secondly, I don't like you very much. You stole my girl, killed my sorceress and destroyed my self-belief. Now, these things add up to a little something; you will do what I say and only what I say, until I tell you otherwise. End of story."

"What do you want?"

Seifer hit him again. "Did I say you could ask a question?" Squall licked his bleeding lips and blinked away the involuntary tears. Oh, shit, oh shit, oh shit - stop it!

"May I ask a question?"

"Go ahead," Seifer said magnanimously. 

"What happened to Irvine?"

If Seifer was surprised he didn't show it. "He came along with you. He's not far away. Don't worry about him, Squall. Worry about yourself. He hasn't got the knack of irritating me you've picked up somewhere." 

So he hadn't escaped. So unless a security camera had captured the kidnapping, there was no way anyone could even know what had happened to the two of them, let alone where they'd been taken. "Can I ask another question?"

"Shoot."

"What do you want from me?"

Seifer paused, then breathed out a cloud of smoke and tapped at the floppy disks on the table. "We'll start with the passwords for these files."

Squall closed his eyes. Seifer had been playing him up to this point from the second he'd opened his eyes. He had always known it. That didn't make the moment less frightening, less achingly lonely. "Squall," Seifer warned. 

"I'm not telling you."

"One more time. How do I open these files, you pathetic little worm?" 

_Go for it. Just pray he kills you now, before you get tempted to talk. _ "You plug them in to a computer and input the right fucking code, and it'll be a cold night in hell before I tell you what it -"

Seifer's fist crashed into the side of his face again, this time with a force so great that Squall hazily wondered why his neck didn't break. He felt his cheekbone give way under the force of the impact. The second blow landed square across his left eye; the third split his lower lip. "Tell me!" Seifer yelled, grabbing a handful of his hair and shaking him by it. Squall shook his head weakly. Half a second later he felt the fist slam into his stomach. He doubled over, barely able to breathe; Seifer hit his face again, knocking him upright. He cried out in pain. _ I'm going. Next time he hits me -_

And the final, longed-for blow caught him round the side of the head, and Squall fell backwards into the night.

***************************

Squall opened his eyes and wished he hadn't. The room was slowly spinning, turning his stomach around along with it. His face seemed to be stuck to the surface he was lying on. He groaned and blacked out again.

He had no way of telling whether it was minutes or hours later when he came to again. This time the world refused to go away when he told it to. He tried to sit up and discovered the necessity to carefully peel his head off the hard, narrow cot. When he'd finally come unstuck he stared groggily at his surroundings.

He was in a tiny prison cell, no more than seven feet long and hardly wide enough to stretch his arms out in. There was no furniture except the hard bed, a water cooler built into the wall and a basic sanitary facility. As he'd expected, there was no handle on the door to allow it to be opened from the inside, even if it was left unlocked. His ankles were shackled. A long, slender chain secured his right wrist to the stone wall. There was no point trying to see if he could get it off.

Squall dropped his head back down onto his arms. "Rinoa?" he whispered. "Can you hear me? Can you find me? Please?" A sorceress could sense her knight's distress half a planet away. Rinoa was bonded to him and had the ability to hear him, to find him. But the link was one-way. He could never know if she had really heard his cry for help.

_I want to be somewhere else. Anywhere but here. Hyne save me, I'd rather be back in Esthar arguing about logistics with Laguna than locked in here. Rinoa. Come and find me. Seifer will kill me if you don't._

*************************

"Nothing at all?" Laguna asked the garrison commander. He looked like he hadn't slept all night. His eyes were bloodshot and his ponytail hadn't been redone. Zell grimaced as he flicked his eyes over the President of Esthar. The guy might fight with Squall every minute he could, but Laguna couldn't hide he was worried.

The commander was shaking his head. "None of the night patrols saw any sign, sir." Laguna closed his eyes for half a second. When he opened them the expression there was very familiar. He wanted to hit something as hard as he could. Zell knew the feeling. The advantage of being a martial artist was that he could actually do some damage if he tried it. He was sure that if Laguna hit the closest wall he would hurt his fists more than he hurt it. Zell decided to take action. As Laguna turned away from the commander, Zell slipped a hand under his elbow and pulled him into the next room, closing the door behind them.

Laguna was scowling. "What?"

"When you hit something, step forwards with your right leg as well, so all your weight's behind your arm. Keep your arm relaxed until the last moment, with the palm up. Just before impact, you straighten your arm and turn your fist over. Like this," and Zell assaulted an imaginary opponent. Laguna stood there for a second, then broke the nearest air conditioning unit. Zell jumped back. "Hey, man, it's your Palace. You knock it down if you like. Just don't come any closer."

Laguna sat down like all the strength had left him. "Sorry."

"Look, sometimes people vanish. They just want a bit of peace and quiet. They might be fishing on a Balamb dock by now."

"Squall, gone fishing?" Laguna laughed humourlessly.

"OK, so it's not the best idea."

Laguna shook his head. "If he'd gone mad and run away, and if Irvine had chased after him, Irvine would have called us."

"Unless Squall killed him - no. I didn't say that."

"Too right you didn't." 

Zell looked closely at Laguna. "Were you and Squall fighting before he left?"

"Yeah." Laguna sighed. "He walked off in a temper. That's why it might just be possible that he's done something daft like going fishing in Balamb. But I really, really doubt it. Specially with Irvine missing as well." Laguna shook his head. "I just - aargh! I can't understand him. I don't get how he can throw away everything he's got, just to concentrate on his work." 

"You mean Rinoa?"

"Yeah. He's got a beautiful woman who loves him. Why doesn't he pay any attention to her?"

Zell shrugged. "She doesn't mind."

"Yeah, right. I know she goes on his missions because she would never see him otherwise! Crazy man. She'll get fed up in the end, and she'll leave him." 

"So why're you feeling guilty?"

Laguna coloured, staring at the ground. "Because I hired you. All of you. It's not just Squall - I know how many of you go back to someone else's room every night. You're young; a lot of you are in love. You shouldn't have to waste the best years of your life working as mercenaries."

"Someone's gotta do it. Come on, Laguna! You were a soldier."

"That's how I know how bad it gets. You know why Rinoa's mother married General Caraway? Because she thought I was dead. I - I don't think I was really in love with her. Just infatuated. But she thought she was in love with me. I shouldn't have hurt her by nearly dying. Almost the same with Raine. I went away and I didn't come back. That was unforgivable."

"That's why you and Squall fight. You don't think he should forgive you. He doesn't either."

Laguna stared at him. "You might be right."

Zell's mobile rang; he answered it. "That you, Zell?" he heard Selphie say.

"Yeah. What's the matter, baby?"

"Uh, could you come out to the front of the Palace, please?"

"Sure." He rang off and stared at the phone, mystified.

"What is it?" Laguna asked.

"Selphie. She's acting weird. She wants me out front. Coming?" Laguna nodded and opened the door, leading the way to the front entrance. 

Selphie was sitting on a low wall by one of the fishponds, head down, fingering something she held in both hands. Zell hurried over to her, Laguna following him. "What's the matter, Sefie?"

"I found something in the pond." She held out the object in her hands. It was Irvine's hat, dirty and soaked through. As Zell stared at the dripping hat, Selphie's fingers dug into the band and pulled out a familiar scrap of silver. Squall's Griever ring.

Selphie looked like she was going to cry. Zell felt so frustrated; he wanted to hug her and tell her everything was all right, to treat her like the little sister she was to him. Something was stopping him. Maybe it was that he didn't want to lie to her. Everything was not all right.

Zell sneaked a look at Laguna. He'd gone white. His deep green eyes were shadowed with something Zell had never seen there before, in real life or through Ward's eyes in the 'dream world'. "Someone did take them," Laguna said softly. "And hasn't thought to tell us yet."

"You sure you haven't had a call this morning?"

Laguna snorted. "I check every five minutes." He looked at Selphie's finds again, then around him, at the Palace façade. "We can stop looking for them round here. They're not anywhere nearby."

"Yeah, right. They could be locked up in a basement somewhere -"

"Will you listen to him?"

Zell turned to Selphie, confused. "What -"

"He says Squall and Irvy aren't here. He's right. Who would take them and put them somewhere round here, when there's three hundred SeeDs on site to kill whoever did it?" She jumped off the wall, some of the colour coming back to her face. That relieved Zell much more than the sight of that resolute little figure marching off in the direction of the airstation.

He stared after her for a second, then chased after her, caught her up and stood directly in her way. She walked past him, nose in the air. He grabbed her arm. "What are you doing?" he spluttered.

"What do you think?" she said quietly. "I'm going to look for him. And I'll go on looking till I find him. I don't care how long it takes."

"You're going off in the Ragnarok? Sefie, how do you think you'll find anything from up in the air?"

"You heard Sir Laguna. He's been kidnapped. I'll see the place they're keeping him and I'll come back for you all and we can break in and find him and Squall." She stalked off. Zell tried to run after her again, but stopped when Laguna caught his arm."Don't try to stop her," the older man said quietly. 

"She's flipped out!"

"Then we let her. We can't do anything about it. Tell you what; you go see that doctor woman you keep in your wing -"

"Dr Kadowaki."

"Whoever. Ask her what to do with stressed out, delusional patients. Kiros might help too; he's got a psychology degree. Ask their advice. Then we'll do what they say and she'll snap out of it."

Zell shook his head. "Man, I hate this. Irvine and Squall - if they don't come back, what's Selphie going to do? And Rinoa?"

Laguna shook his head. "Rinoa - I hope she realises she'll have to start looking for another knight. If she doesn't, she'll go mad. Selphie - I don't know."

"We'll help her through it." Laguna looked like he wasn't sure. In fact, he looked so unlike himself Zell had to pinch himself to be sure he wasn't having a nightmare. _Uh-oh. The thing I didn't ask. If Squall doesn't come back, what are you going to do, Laguna?_

* * *

**(to be continued...)**


	4. Chapter Four: Seifer

**A.N.:** And the saga continues... Thanks to Angelprinczess29, Klepto-maniac0, Baconfat and Mistress Moonflower for liking it so much! Sakaki22: I actually wrote the story six months ago, so although it's a nice idea and one that would really fit in with Selphie's personality I won't be adding it unless I already have (does that make sense?) - you'll have to wait and see, I guess :). Djiinx: insane doesn't quite describe it. I'd say more like vindictive... 

**WARNING:** More random violence below. And this chapter might as well be subtitled Welcome to Implausible Plot Twist #1; beware my overuse of melodrama.

**DISCLAIMER:** Final Fantasy VIII is the property of Squaresoft. I didn't write this story for profit. 

* * *

CHAPTER FOUR - SEIFER

Fujin watched Seifer out of the corner of her good eye. After the downfall of Ultimecia he'd been a shadow of himself, unable to cope with defeat and rejection. For a year she'd been cheered by the way he had thrown that off, walked tall and commanded his miniature army with such style. Now, as she watched his eyes gleam as he pored over his most detailed reports of the movements of the Estharian forces, she was starting to worry.

He'd always been so detached, so objective, when talking about his plans to gain some sort of material advantage for himself in a world that saw him as a war criminal. Since he'd kidnapped Squall Leonhart right out of Esthar's Presidential Palace, that had gone. It was as if he were determined to take out every insult and hardship he'd suffered on his former rival. In the old days there had always been a kind of wary respect between Squall and Seifer that had even bordered on friendship. Now Seifer seemed determined to send Squall home to Garden even more humiliated and defeated than he'd been two years ago.

She wanted the best for Seifer Almasy. She always had. She'd also always doubted his ability to see what was good for himself. If he couldn't see how this might prove disastrous, she could. He'd thrown away his last chance of getting back into the good books of the only family he'd ever known the first time he'd hurt Squall.

She suddenly caught Seifer's arm. "Do you intend to kill him?" she asked him bluntly.

Seifer looked vaguely surprised that she'd spoken in full sentences. "I don't intend anything. If he lives, he lives. If not, he doesn't. End of story."

He didn't even _sound_ quite the same as he used to. "You will kill him, you know, if you go on as you've begun. He'll be no use to you then."

Seifer didn't answer for a moment. Then he said slowly, "Did you know he's Loire's son?"

"So what was he doing in an orphanage?" she exclaimed.

"Long story. Loire never knew about him. But he's sentimental."

"He'll deal?"

"Almost certainly. He might deal as soon as I ask him to. I need to get what I can out of Squall before I hand him back."

Fujin didn't reply. She could understand, in a way. But she couldn't see how the Seifer Almasy she knew - hot-headed, occasionally misguided, but with at least a streak of goodness in him somewhere - had brought himself to systematically torture a man he knew better than any other. "Where is he now?" she asked in the end.

"Squall? Out of it. He'll get a surprise when he finally comes round. Should take him a couple of days to get over it. I don't think his cowboy friend thanked me when I road-tested it on him." He smiled as he spoke. Fujin waited till his attention was off her, then she slipped out of the room. She didn't know what to do.

Seifer had been so excited when he'd first told her the plan. Now he hardly seemed sane. She faced a decision - she could abandon a man who had been a true friend to her in the past, or she could watch as one of the few truly good men in the world was murdered. The choice was hers.

***********************

As the sun finally broke over the horizon, Selphie swung the Ragnarok round till she was heading north. She couldn't see a thing for the glare, and didn't want to run straight into a pylon. "Ground hogging sucks," she said out loud. "I wanna fly properly." She wanted to loop the loop and race the clouds. Instead she had to pilot the ship at minimum speed, just so she could watch the ground properly.

Still, that was what she was here for. The others hadn't wanted to come with her, even when she'd asked them nicely. Not even Rinoa had come along, and she would have been lots of help. She could have thrown high-level Scans around as well as looking out of the window. Instead Selphie was stuck flying, watching out for trouble and looking for clues, all at the same time. As well as handling the recording equipment the army had asked her to carry.

The scanners gave off three beeps, two long ones and a short one. "Hey, a building," Selphie said to herself, peering down at what the machine had picked up on. It wasn't just one building, but a cluster, a tiny hamlet; but nobody was living there or even squatting there now. The roofs had all fallen in and half the walls had fallen down.

Selphie could see crowds of little purple Imps swarming in and out of the houses. On the scanner she could see them even more clearly; they were running around, scrambling over each other with little hands clawing at their neighbours, trying to get away from the dragon hovering overhead. Selphie smiled nastily. No way would they get away from her today. She wheeled the Ragnarok round to the left and released a firebomb.

The cloud of smoke and flames whooshed around the buildings. Selphie grinned. Even up here she could hear the Imps squeaking in panic, thanks to the scanners. She brought the ship round for another pass. It was easy to see she wouldn't need another bomb. She'd toasted most of them. The rest had gone mad. They were either running away or casting at each other, wild and panicked. Little sprays of fire and ice were flashing across the street. It looked pretty from a distance but it was nothing even a GF would want to get into the middle of.

More and more of the little monsters kept pouring out of the biggest building. The new arrivals didn't know what was happening. They just started casting their biggest spells in random directions, at random targets, frightened because they couldn't understand why this was happening and why their friends were attacking them.

Selphie looked at the buildings again, her idle curiosity aroused. Where could all the Imps be coming from? She'd sent dozens of them to monster heaven. But they were still emerging from the wreckage of the hamlet like there was an Imp-generating machine in there. "I'm going to go down and look," Selphie decided. She took another look at the battling Imps, facing each other in rows. She would have to use another bomb after all. No way was she going out in that.

Ten seconds later she'd cleared the street again. Dropping a charge on the big building had stopped the flow out of it. She parked the Ragnarok as close to the outskirts of the hamlet as she could, checked her junction and headed for the big building as quickly as she could.

Now she'd killed the monsters the little village felt spookily empty. There were piles of smoking purple bodies lying about on all sides; Selphie ignored them. They didn't mean anything to her. She stuck her head inside the building the Imps had been leaving in such numbers. There was a big hole in the floor. A tiny pointy head peeked over its edge; the Imp stared at Selphie with something almost like human fear on its pinched little face.

"Shoo," she ordered, flapping her hands at it. The Imp squeaked and dropped out of sight. Selphie nodded to herself in satisfaction and peered down the hole. She couldn't see anything. That didn't mean there wasn't anything there. "Hmm...I know! Fire," she ordered. A ball of flame formed round her hand and she flung it down into the hole. The spell just gave her time to see a six-foot drop with a broken stairway at the bottom, leading off into a dark tunnel. She wrinkled up her nose at the smell of freshly cooked Imp coming from the hole. And at the memory of a hundred little eyes staring up at her.

"I gotta go down there, haven't I?" she said to herself. "Drat." She thought for a moment. Maybe water would hurt them as much as fire. She reached into her mind, to the place where the GFs slept, and called upon Leviathan.

_(Could you just wash these little guys away for me, please?)_ she asked as sweetly as she could. _(It won't take you long. Then you can go back to sleep.)_

(I did not sleep,) the Guardian's smooth, mellow voice huffed. _ (I am no Diablos. I was meditating.)_

(Oops, sorry. Could you help me anyway?)

(Very well.)

The enormous snake reared up out of nowhere and sent a torrent roaring down the hole in the floor. Selphie heard a few more muffled squeaks of fright before the new river washed the Imps away. "Thank you," she said politely as Leviathan faded away again. The hole had to go back a long way. The water had almost completely gone already. Selphie waited to be sure everything had settled down, then she jumped down into the hole, lighting her tiny pocket torch so she had light to see by.

There weren't any Imps left along here. "I cleared a whole monster nest!" She wasn't going to let her guard down, though; she picked her way along the tunnel with her torch in her left hand and her nunchaku in her right. It was hard going. The floor was uneven and the roof had fallen down in some places. Selphie looked hard at the walls as she went along. It looked like someone had improved on a natural tunnel, a cave. Or a few caves.

When the tunnel opened out into a big, open space, Selphie was sure of it.

"I didn't know there were caves under Esthar." Her voice echoed around her head and out into the darkness. She decided to stop talking for a while. She liked listening to people talk - even if she was alone and that had to mean talking to herself - but she didn't know what might be at the other side of this cavern. She went right up to the wall and started working her way round.

She didn't find any more monsters - except a few drowned Imps - but she did find a cluster of potholes at the other side of the cavern. Leviathan's strike had almost flooded them out, but it was easy to see the water was still draining away somewhere, very slowly. Selphie shook her head in frustration. She couldn't exactly breathe underwater. She had no way of knowing how far the tunnels went, or how long it would be until she found air if she decided to go swimming.

_I can't. There might be water monsters down there, if Leviathan found a river to drain all this into. I can't attack underwater. And nobody knows I'm here. I can't go looking. I'll come back with someone else. Irvine would love to see this. He'd want to explore it all._

Irvine...

She'd come to Esthar to fight monsters. She'd ended up on a quest to find her boyfriend. She ought to be monster-hunting - but the monsters would wait. Irvine wouldn't. She had to find the people who had taken him, before they hurt him. Sure, this might be interesting, something to look at later on, but it wasn't important. Irvine was important. These caves were pretty to look at but she wasn't likely to find Irvine in one of them.

Selphie started to retrace her steps along the wall to the tunnel she'd come in by. If she found a few monsters on her way back, she'd be able to feel like she was still doing her job. That would make everything feel a bit better.

***********************

He'd opened his eyes. He knew he had. But he couldn't see a thing. And he wasn't blindfolded, nor was there any pain around his eyes to suggest he'd been blinded. He had to have been put under Darkness. He couldn't move either, but when he tried it the bonds holding him down seemed slightly flexible. Not flexible enough, Squall thought, and tried to slip a hand free. It didn't work.

"What's happening?" he said aloud - or he tried to say it. He didn't make a sound. _A Silence spell, damn it all._ "What's going on?" he tried again. When he concentrated he could feel his voice reverberating in his cheekbones. He couldn't hear anything at all. He'd been put somewhere where there were no ambient sounds whatsoever.

Add to that a nose clamp - "Sensory deprivation," he said deliberately, trying not to panic at the complete disorientation flooding him. He couldn't hear, see, or smell at all; he couldn't taste anything but blood; he couldn't feel anything but pain. When he concentrated he realised that wasn't actually the case. He could feel that he was standing upright with his back to a wall. The wall in question gave a little when he leant on it, like the cuffs on his wrists and ankles. That, again, did not mean there was any way to escape the situation.

"This means trouble," he said to himself, trying not to wonder what was going to happen to him. "I won't be here long, I'm sure."

He knew how easy it was supposed to be for someone to go mad when they were faced with minimal sensory input. He'd never believed the stories before. Now, when he had nothing to do but think unpleasant thoughts and count his injuries, he began to realise how much stimulation even a boring scene offered. _They can't leave me here forever._

After no more than half an hour he was beginning to find it intolerable. His legs were refusing to support his weight, and he tried hanging by his wrists for a while; that was when he realised how little he could rely on relatively weak arms. He was a swordsman, not a martial artist. He didn't exactly have overdeveloped arm muscles. Added to that, the cuffs were digging into his wrists decidedly unpleasantly. "Come on," he muttered, welcoming the half-sensation of his own voice. _I hear the thought louder than I feel the sound. Far louder._

About three hours later he realised nobody was going to let him out in the immediate future.

Four hours after that, he started wondering if anybody was ever going to let him out.

He guessed he'd been tied up there for twelve hours when he started having difficulty breathing. Sagging against the wall, gasping for breath and forcing his diaphragm to work, he had long since passed the point at which the pain started getting worse. "Let me out," he tried to say, but the Silence was still fixed in place. He was starting to realise that the reason the wall was slightly mutable was that he would not be able to feel any vibrations through it. He wept silently, licking the tears off his face. He had stopped pretending he wasn't terrified. Seifer had left him here to die - of shock or dehydration, it hardly mattered which.

He managed to sleep or at least pass out for a few hours. He awoke to the same utter featurelessness. Hour after hour he clung on to some semblance of life and sanity, picturing Rinoa, concentrating on her brightness. _I'm going to die. I'm never going to see her again. Goodbye, my only love. Did you love me? Will you miss me?_

Time and time again he called to her, praying she could hear him, knowing she could not. And what could he tell her? That he was locked up in a prison he did not know the location of, in the hands of a man who would surely kill him if anybody tried to rescue him?

Time ceased to have any meaning. Thought slowed and stopped. Then there was only the pain, and then there was nothing.

********************

"Squall. Damn it, Squall, wake up."

The voice seemed determined to drag him out of his precious slumber. His face was wet. The water was running into his mouth. As he lay there, too alert to sleep, too exhausted to wake, more liquid splashed over him. He coughed as some of the water flooding his mouth tried to go down his windpipe.

"That's better. You need to swallow some more. Come on. Please." The voice was familiar. He couldn't quite place it through the pain. His arms and legs ached more than he had ever thought possible. The cuts and bruises he had thought he would never be able to ignore were suddenly of secondary importance. There was no way he could walk, stand or even move his head. He was completely helpless.

His eyelids hurt too much to open. Maybe the person above him understood. A damp finger gently touched both corners of each eye, moisturising the skin, letting the liquid run in and invigorate him. Squall blinked and tried to focus on the figure leaning over him. Male - probably tall - long, reddish-brown hair - "Irvine?" Squall whispered.

"It's me. Relax, nobody's going to hurt you right now." Irvine's face was disfigured by bruises and covered in tiny cuts, and his voice was shaking. He sounded just as abnormal as he looked. "I thought you weren't going to wake up," he blurted out. "What happened to you?" 

"Sensory - deprivation," Squall managed. "Last - two days, I think -"

"You too?" Irvine tried to smile, but failed completely. "I wasn't in there as long, but...try and drink some more. You need to." He lifted Squall's head onto his lap and held the cup up for him again. Squall choked on the mouthful. He couldn't help it; memories of the hell he'd gone through were forcing themselves on him. Irvine seemed to understand. He wasn't pushing Squall into anything, he wasn't forcing him to drink, he wasn't hurting him even by accident. He just encouraged Squall to drink again once the convulsions had stopped.

"Thank you," Squall said in the end.

"For what?"

"For being you."

Irvine managed a smile this time. "I'm flattered." The smile dropped off his face and he looked like he was about to cry. "He's going to kill us. Isn't he?"

"Not soon enough."

Irvine was silent for a second. Then he said, "He knows I don't know anything he wants. I'm expendable. Maybe you'll live longer - I'm not sure."

The slant of Irvine's eyes was all that told Squall that Irvine had successfully lied to Seifer over whatever he'd been asked. Now he was regretting his success... "Don't envy me. Is this life?"

"Don't know." He levered Squall upright and they sat together against the wall, leaning on each other's shoulders. Irvine seemed close to tears. He kept starting to tremble, not stopping till Squall summoned up the strength to squeeze his hand. It was as if he couldn't bear the thought of what was happening to him until he remembered he wasn't alone.

Alone...and the thought threatened to overcome Squall as well. They were alone in here, period. "How long have we been here?" he asked quietly.

"I - I'm not sure. Four or five days, I think." 

"That long?"

"Yeah. You know what I'm thinking?

"Do I want to?"

"No." In a rush he said, "Nobody knows where we are. Surely they would have done something by now - it's been such a long time..."

"Maybe Seifer'll offer to ransom us." _I'm the one trying to cheer_ Irvine _up?_

"He'll kill us first..." and Irvine started to cry quietly. Squall worked an arm round him. _I'm no good at this. But he seems to find my touch comforting...I don't know. There's nothing I can say anyway. Maybe Seifer will offer to ransom us. But he won't do that till we've told him everything we know. He thinks Irvine's clueless; I'd rather die than talk. So that's it. We're not going home._

Neither of them spoke again till the door opened and two pairs of guards hauled them away in opposite directions.

*******************

"Has Selphie gone already?" Quistis asked Rinoa over breakfast.

Rinoa scowled. "Yes. I wish she'd listen, but..."

"She's not one to think about things for too long. She'll realise sometime we're doing as much as we can. Until then, we're stuck with a rental car." 

Rinoa had to force herself to eat. The thought of food at a time like this disgusted her. She spent every evening Scanning Esthar in search of her knight, usually continuing until she fell asleep from exhaustion. She couldn't keep it up for long. She knew that, if no traces of them were found within the next week, there would be little point continuing.

The thought of her lover lying dead threatened to make her throw up. She desperately tried to push the image away, using every trick she knew, but she couldn't quite dismiss it. "Rinoa? Are you OK?" she heard Quistis say from a long way away.

"Squall," she managed through clenched teeth.

"He's not..."

"I don't think so. I can't stop thinking about what would happen if..."

"Rinoa, you're too pale. I'm taking you to see Dr Kadowaki."

"It's not a physical problem." Quistis ignored her and pulled her up from the table, dragging her out of the room and towards the temporary infirmary where the SeeDs' minor illnesses and injuries were tended. "Quisty, she can't do anything," Rinoa tried again.

"I don't care. You need to talk to a medic."

"I'm feeling better now. My stomach isn't looping the loop anymore."

"Well, it might start again when you're in the field, and then what would you do?" 

Rinoa kept up her protests all the way to the infirmary. After a while Quistis started acting like she couldn't hear properly. Rinoa had to admit it was about the only thing the blonde woman could do. But she didn't need to see a doctor. She was just worried and upset. Nothing more.

"Doctor Kadowaki?" Quistis yelled as she flung the door open. "I need your help."

"I don't need an - ouch!"

"What is all this noise?" the doctor reproved Quistis and Rinoa, coming out of her office. "I have patients in here trying to rest." 

"Rinoa needs a doctor. She says she doesn't."

"That's because I'm OK!"

"What appears to be the problem?" Dr Kadowaki addressed Quistis.

"She was feeling ill at breakfast when she started thinking about Squall. She's upset."

"Haven't I got a reason?" Rinoa demanded.

"Yes, but most people wouldn't nearly bring back their breakfast over it!"

Dr Kadowaki looked Rinoa up and down. "I may as well give you an examination anyway. I'm not busy. If you'll wait here, Quistis?" Quistis nodded and let go of Rinoa's arm. Dr Kadowaki took the other arm and guided Rinoa into the surgery.

"There's nothing wrong with me," Rinoa protested again.

"It's still an unnatural reaction. You've been eating cafeteria food over the past few days?"

"Yes. I've had nothing that someone else hasn't had."

"We've had no outbreaks of food poisoning, so it won't be that. Any head pain, sore throat, other cold symptoms?"

"No. And I always get sore throats with colds."

"Have you felt nauseated at any other time recently?"

Rinoa pondered. "Not like this. I did feel a little strange a couple of days ago, but I was rushing my breakfast at the time and I didn't think about it. That's actually happened a few times over the last week. It was nowhere near this strong. This time, it felt like I couldn't digest anything."

"Hmm. When did this start? A week ago?"

"A week, eight days, something like that."

"And it's happened quite a few times?"

"About every other day. Why?"

"Are you sexually active?"

Rinoa stared at her, feeling the world start to fall apart. "I can't be pregnant."

"Just answer the question, please."

"Yes. But we use condoms."

"They don't have a hundred percent chance of preventing pregnancy, not even a ninety percent chance unless the user is very careful. When's your period due?"

Rinoa counted desperately, working out when the last time had been. Three weeks ago, four, five...and she started to cry. She couldn't help it. "It's OK," the doctor said softly. "You don't have to bear it alone."

"I want Squall," Rinoa whimpered. _He's lost and now I need him. I need him so badly..._

"Then you'd better stop crying and find him. Hadn't you?" Dr Kadowaki gently embraced Rinoa. "I'll give you a testing kit, but it's fairly likely. Do you want Quistis to take you to the bathroom? I don't think you can walk in a straight line."

"Can I have a minute?"

"Of course."

Rinoa buried her head in her arms and wept. She wanted Squall back, to hold her and tell her this was right. A child . . . Squall had wanted one. In a few years. When he was no longer a front-line SeeD, but an administrator of some kind. When he wasn't going to be sent off to die somewhere. Now he was gone and she might be left with only the baby to remember him by.

Suddenly she stopped crying. If - _if_ - she were pregnant, the child would need a father. Dr Kadowaki was right. She had to find him as soon as possible. She wouldn't be left alone like Raine, to bear a child whose father never knew about it until too late. "I'll manage by myself," she whispered.

"If you're certain."

Quistis, of course, worked it out the second Rinoa came out of the surgery. "I don't want you to tell anyone," Rinoa warned her.

"If you're sure."

"I'll tell them all in a few days. Just not yet. I - I kind of need to go to the bathroom for a moment. I'll be ready to go on patrol in a few minutes."

"I'll wait for you."

Rinoa smiled, though she didn't feel like it. "Thanks, Quisty." 

*************************

_Stop it. Please. Oh, please. _ Squall bit his tongue hard in an attempt to avoid begging for mercy aloud. He still had a concussion hanging over from the previous day, when a badly timed blow had knocked him out for close on twelve hours. It made him feel detached from reality; it numbed the shock of the fists that punched into him over and over again. It wasn't stopping his guards beating on him.

_They wouldn't hit me this hard if they cared half a gil whether I lived or died._ They couldn't care. They proved that with the cruel words that accompanied every blow, the words that he couldn't shut out. 

_Maybe it would be better if they killed me. Yes, go ahead. Hit my head again, just a little too hard, so I die and it stops hurting. I'm a coward, I know I am. I'm scared of the pain. I don't have to tell you that. You already know. You wouldn't be hurting me this badly if you didn't know._

Every time they'd done this in the past, they'd gone on hitting him until he blacked out. When they stopped it therefore came as something of a surprise. Squall stayed curled up in a ball on the floor, waiting for a blow that never came. Why did they stop it? He felt the men stand up and pull away from him, heard them walk out of the cell. As the adrenaline stopped rampaging round his systems, he started to tremble in reaction. Why...?

He suddenly realised he wasn't alone. A foot prodded him in the back. "Get up," Seifer ordered him.

"I can't", Squall tried.

"Of course you can. Stop faking."

He wasn't faking it - or he thought he wasn't. But Seifer would never believe that. Maybe he could get up, if he tried really hard. He gathered the last of his strength and levered himself up until he was kneeling at Seifer's feet.

"That's better. Now, why did you lie to me?"

"What?"

"You said you couldn't get up. You were lying. How do you think I ought to punish you for that?"

_This isn't happening. _ "I thought I couldn't get up. I -"

"Stop making excuses." Squall stared at the man he'd grown up with. Seifer was looking down at him with a supercilious expression on his face, like he thought Squall was on the same level as a bed bug. It was almost as if he didn't think he was even worth hating. _It's like he said when I first got here. He's in control. And I can't accept it. He's going to make me - isn't he?_

Seifer reached out and raised Squall's head almost gently. "How are you liking it here?" he murmured. "You enjoying debasing yourself in front of me? Don't be under any misapprehensions. You're going to be doing a lot more of that before I can let you leave."

"What - can I ask a question?"

"Of course."

"What's going to happen to me?" _How am I going to die? Tell me, Seifer. You know you want to give me time to look forward to it._

"That's entirely up to you." He dropped Squall's chin. It was an effort to go on looking up at the man. "You help me out, you go home. You don't, you stay here."

"You want me to talk. You could have fooled me. You're going to kill me -"

"And you still think I care?" Seifer laughed mirthlessly. "There's other ways to get the information I want. Right now, the easiest way is to persuade you to tell me. When you die, the easiest way'll be to ask someone else. Why should I keep you alive when you're being difficult about it all?" 

Seifer started, like he'd realised something he should have thought of a long time ago. "You want to die, don't you? You always did. All those bravery awards you got when we were cadets. You were out there in front because you didn't care whether or not you made it back."

_When I was a cadet I wanted to die. Last week, I didn't care either way. You've taught me that I want to live. There's so much I don't want to lose now. Loving Rinoa, being with my friends, watching sunsets from the Garden roof. You took it all away._

"Should I give you what you want, Squall?" His hand went to Hyperion's hilt, resting at his side. Squall's stomach tightened. He stared at the black gunblade, mesmerised. Seifer slowly drew Hyperion, lazily extended it towards Squall. Squall closed his eyes and bent his head, waiting for the blow. _ Any second..._

Seifer laughed again, sounding genuinely amused this time. Squall opened one eye and risked a glance. That look on Seifer's face... "You're starting to believe what I say. Good boy. Shall I teach you another trick?"

_I'm going to tell him - I'm going to..._ Furious, helpless, Squall glowered up at Seifer, not bothering to mask his hatred. Seifer's smile vanished. He took hold of Squall's hair and dragged him upright till his feet no longer touched the floor. "I don't like it when you look at me like that. Stop it."

"I'll stop it when I -"

"You'll do whatever I tell you to do. Understand?" Seifer shook him viciously. "You know your problem? You think too much of yourself. You think people actually give a damn about what happens to you."

"Rinoa -"

He laughed. "I laid her first, and I can do it again any day I like!" _That's not true. She said she hates him. She did, I'm certain._ Seifer switched his grip to the back of Squall's torn jacket and spun him round to face his reflection, shining in the silvered door. Squall saw - a skeleton, ragged and bloody, with sunken eyes and a scarred, misshapen face. "That's you," Seifer whispered in his ear. "You think anybody would want that? Do you?" Squall couldn't answer. He choked on the words.

Seifer flung him back onto the cot. Squall wrapped his arms round his head, certain Seifer was going to hurt him; Seifer dragged Squall's hands down so he couldn't avoid looking at him. "She won't want you after she's seen what I've done to you. Your so-called friends, all the people who think you're something - they'll walk out on you. Nobody's ever going to like you again. You'll watch them come over to me. They'll leave you here in the dark. Forever. You know people always leave you - when you were four years old your sister already knew you were too horrible to stay with. You haven't changed. You can't ever change that. It's what you are."

_It's not true - is it? They'll stop liking me..._

Seifer suddenly smiled and stroked Squall's cheek. "Don't worry, Squall. I'll never abandon you. You'll always be useful to me. But you've outgrown your usefulness to everyone else you ever knew. That's why nobody's tried to rescue you yet." He straightened up. "It'd have been better for you if you'd let Ultimecia kill you. At least you could have pretended to die heroically."

"Dying - isn't ever - heroic."

"Don't answer back."

"Seifer -"

Seifer slapped him. "What did I just say? And address me as 'sir' when you speak to me, you excuse for a human being." Squall bit back a shame too deep for tears. _Leave me alone. Please. If I mean as little as you say I do, shouldn't I be beneath your notice?_ But he was going to leave the cell at last. He was going to let Squall alone.

Seifer half-turned in the doorway and said over his shoulder, "You'll tell me everything in the end, you know. Garden's strength in the area, the likely movements of the Estharian army, every top-level password you ever knew. You'll even do the voice recognition recordings for me. Willingly. And don't deny it. You're pathetic. You know that as well as I do. Sooner or later you'll do anything I ask just because it's me who's asking."

The door slammed shut. Squall stared at it, longing for Seifer to come back so he could tell him he was wrong. "I'm not that bad," he whispered. "I'm not." But he was fighting a losing battle against himself and he knew it. _ Why didn't I die years ago? Why did I have to end up like this? _ He looked down at himself, then back up at the terrible reflection on the door - and he started to cry like a child.

* * *

**(to be continued...)**


	5. Chapter Five: Ellone

**A.N.:** I finished my exams! No more ever, except for professional qualifications! Booyaka! *ahem* Oops. I'm slightly happy, in case you haven't guessed. Anyway. Another chapter. Much more angsty stuff. Author who can't write complete sentences at the moment due to brain capacity overload. Hope you all think it's good (I doubt you'll like it...). 

**WARNING:** Violence, language, insane Seifer (yes, Djiinx, I'm starting to agree with you on that one). Don't say you weren't warned when you freak out over this.

**DISCLAIMER:** Final Fantasy VIII doesn't belong to me. Neither do the characters and places in this non-profit story.

* * *

CHAPTER FIVE - ELLONE

Squall didn't wonder why Seifer had brought him back here, to the room where he'd been on the first day. He was sitting in the same chair, fastened with the same bonds - but the pain he had been in then was nothing to what he was feeling now. Almost every movement was agonising. The constant pain and the lack of food and sleep had almost completely drained him. Before long he wouldn't have the strength left to use the toilet. Even now, he couldn't concentrate enough to think about anything so complicated as whether Seifer could have reasons for his actions.

And the man was smiling at him! Smiling, like nothing was wrong, like this was the way things were supposed to be. It had to be. Seifer had been right when he told Squall he was the one who should have won the war. It was Squall who was the bad one. The pain was no more than he deserved, his punishment for being so horrible.

_I still can't give in to him. That'll make me an even worse person._

"How're you feeling, Squall?" the blond man asked in a friendly tone. Squall didn't answer. "You don't look like you've been sleeping properly. Like me to make sure you never wake up?"

"I would."

"I'll have to be sure to avoid it, then. You aren't going to die yet, Squall. Not before you've done what I brought you here to do."

Squall risked a glance at him. Seifer was smirking like he had ten points on every side of all his cards. "What would you like me to tell you?" Squall asked in the cowed undertone that the other man wanted to hear. Don't give me an answer yet. Give me another few minutes with no more pain than this. Please.

He laughed softly. "Laguna Loire's mobile number."

Squall froze. "What?"

"You heard. Or didn't you know you were his?"

Seifer pulled a phone out of his pocket and tossed it onto the table where it lay spinning round and round. Its movements matched the turmoil in Squall's mind. This had been what Seifer had captured him for in the first place. Why leave it this long before calling Laguna? Had he wanted to get as much out of the SeeDs as he could before giving them away, or had he just wanted them the pictures he could send to Esthar to be more pathetic? But when it was never going to work... "May I tell you something? Something you need to know?" Squall whispered, his tongue leaden and barely moving.

"If you wish. It had better be interesting."

"It is." Squall risked making eye contact. "This sounds to me - like you want Laguna to do something or give you something. You think he will if you threaten me."

Seifer grinned and put his hand on Hyperion's hilt. "If he doesn't say he'll do it, I'll kill you while he's on the other end of the line."

"It won't work."

"Why not?" Seifer demanded.

"Because Laguna hates me." Squall swallowed. "He - he won't do anything for me. Damnit, if you offered to ransom me for a hundred gil he might not bother."

"Don't swear," Seifer said automatically, his scarred brow creasing. "If you're lying to me..."

"I'm not," Squall whispered, his head dropping in shame. "I wish I was."

"Let's find out. Shall we, Squall?"

Hyperion's tip rested against the top of his arm. For a moment he considered resisting, hiding the fact that Seifer could find out the number as easily as breathing. _No. I'm tired of the pain. He says he'll kill me if Laguna doesn't deliver. That's what I want to happen. But he's still broken me. He's won._ "When you captured me. My phone was in my jacket. The number's logged in there."

He didn't reply. He stared at Squall for a few seconds; Squall could feel Seifer's eyes resting on him, the eyes that refused to leave him alone. Then he sheathed the gunblade and walked out of the room. Squall heard snatches of conversation through the screaming voices in his mind. _Failure. Useless. Worthless. He hated you before, and now you've given in to Seifer. He'll completely despise you when he finds out you told._ Suddenly, Seifer was back in the room. "Thanks, Squall," he said mockingly, coming round the table with the phone in one hand and Hyperion in the other. "You're going to be good and do what I say, aren't you?"

"Yes, sir." _What does he want me to do?_

Seifer closed the remaining distance between them in one step and grabbed a handful of Squall's hair. He jerked Squall bolt upright. Squall stared down at the shimmering black gunblade that rested against his jugular vein. "You're going to talk to Loire," Seifer ordered, his breath hot on the back of Squall's neck. "You're going to tell him about your situation. You're going to tell him I'll kill you if he doesn't comply. And you know I mean it. Don't you?" He pushed his thumb ever so slightly into Hyperion's hilt. Squall felt a tiny trickle of blood run down his neck and knew Seifer was serious. "One more thing. No heroics. Understood?"

"Understood - sir." Without another word Seifer dropped Squall's head and dialled the number.

************************

_Seven days. Seven days almost to the minute since my arrogant twerp of a son walked out of this room and was never seen again. I'm going to go mad any second. I can't stand this - I can't bear not knowing what happened._

Laguna didn't know how long he'd been staring into space. Hours, probably. Over the past couple of days his life had settled into a black nightmare that felt like it would never end. Certainly the night would not give way to dawn until Squall walked back into his life. And that was not going to happen.

The search teams had moved to dredging the nearby lakes and rivers to see if the kidnappers had grown tired of them and dumped them. They'd actually found two bodies, both female and both considerably more than a week dead. If that information hadn't been relayed accurately Laguna could have sworn he would have had a heart attack at the news. 

Rinoa refused to believe Squall was dead, but was still unable to contact him. Elle had taken to sleeping eighteen hours a day in catnaps, constantly trying to connect to the missing men during the remaining period. Selphie scarcely spoke to anyone anymore. She left Esthar early each morning, returning well after nightfall, unable to stop her desperate search for Irvine. Laguna wondered if he should tell the girl she was looking for a dead body. He felt like he shouldn't destroy her last hope. But the hope might be better off destroyed. Finding him might kill her otherwise.

As for him, he went on working. Obsessively, like he had when he'd first heard about Raine's death. He'd cut down to an hour's sleep a night. That was filled with nightmares; visions of Squall dead or dying at the hands of a thousand enemies, killed in a thousand ways. The last thing Laguna would see was always his eyes, the wonderful grey-blue eyes that had always ate into him with such hatred. In his dreams the eyes never failed to accuse him of all the things he'd always known were true. It was like Squall was telling him something with the last traces of his spirit. _You abandoned me before I was born. You left me to die._

He wanted to scream that it wasn't true, that he'd tried to find Squall, but he couldn't stop himself thinking about what had happened that night. Maybe if he hadn't driven Squall out of the office he wouldn't have met with whatever accident had befallen him. Maybe if he'd let the boy go to bed at a sensible hour he would have escaped disaster. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Laguna was sick of the word.

Earlier on, Kiros, Xu and Ward had helped him catch up on the compilation of the progress reports. They hadn't asked him, they'd just moved in and done it without a word. When it was over Kiros had ordered him straight to bed. Laguna had told him where to go with that idea. Maybe he should have apologised for the harsh words, but the look on Kiros' face had told him an apology wasn't necessary. The guy knew he was upset. He'd gone away, leaving Laguna alone. That had been two hours ago.

The worst thing now was that he had nothing to do anymore. Someone had already done every little job he could have done to distract himself. Instead he was stuck in this room with its memories. He looked around at the furniture, at the conference table and sideboard, at the small circle of easy chairs and the ornate clock. He couldn't stop remembering how Squall had walked round this room a bare week ago. Eventually he walked to the window and stared out at Esthar. It was raining again. The planet's bleakness matched Laguna's.

For the first couple of seconds he didn't realise his mobile was ringing. The noise was blotted out by thoughts of Squall. Then he suddenly focussed in on the sound. _A call at this hour? Most people think I sleep occasionally. What if they've found him?_ He pulled out the phone and flicked the button.

"Laguna Loire."

There was silence for at least five seconds. "L-Laguna?" the voice whispered.

_That's..._ "Squall?" Laguna gasped, his voice rising an octave.

"Yeah. It's me." The voice was faint and strangely acquiescent. Squall's voice, certainly, but without the force and drive that usually lay there. Laguna stood still in shock for a second, then felt a blast of rage. He'd been missing for seven days and hadn't contacted anyone?

"Where the hell are you?" he almost shouted. "And why have you been fucking around with all of us for a week? Didn't you think before you took off like that?"

"No. Irvine and I - we got kidnapped. I don't know where I am."

Laguna stared at the phone. "Squall, what's going on?" If he hadn't known Squall better he would have sworn the boy sounded frightened. Squall was never frightened. But maybe now...?

"He wouldn't let me talk to you earlier. I - I'm sorry. He - he wants me to talk to you now." There was a pause. "He - he wants me to tell you - I -" Squall swallowed audibly. "I'm tied up. He's got a gunblade at my throat. He says he's going to kill me - unless you do something for him."

_By Hyne, no. Not that._ Laguna closed his eyes as he replayed Squall's words in his mind. _I'd do anything to get you back._ His mind going numb, Laguna heard Squall take a deep breath and say, "Laguna, don't do what he wants -"

He stopped talking like someone had turned off a recording. "Excuse me a minute, Loire," another man's voice said politely. "I've got to leave you on the line for a moment - while I decide how many of your son's fingers I'm going to break. I told him not to say that. Some SeeD if he can't obey a direct order."

"Stop." Suddenly he was back in control of himself. _This is just another hostage situation. You know how to talk to the psycho. Don't say yes, don't say no, don't start pleading with him not to hurt the prisoner._ But he couldn't stop the little voice screaming, _That's Squall in there, gods damn it..._ "Hurting him now would be a very bad idea. What if I decided you weren't to be trusted, because you hurt him?"

"Then Squall's dead. Because if you don't do what I say I'm going to kill him. The gunblade that was at his throat earlier; it's in his mouth now. I only need to push his head down and the point'll go straight through his head and out the back of his skull." 

_Holy shit._ Laguna dropped into the closest chair, fingering his cramped leg. "This is unnecessary. You're going to frighten him. It would be best if you stopped threatening him while we talk."

"Oh, he deserves to have it there. He knows that. And, Squall, one more word from you and I'll cut your tongue out." He said that just to scare them both. Laguna was certain of it. Squall, on the other end, wasn't making a sound. That kind of indicated this guy had carried out at least some of the threats he'd made to him over the past week.

"Who am I speaking to?"

"Seifer Almasy. Great SeeD traitor, et cetera. Heard of me?"

"I have," and Laguna stared down at his white-knuckled fist. Caraway had warned him. If the warning had come sooner... "What do you want?"

"What do you think I want?"

"I can count a few things you might like. You want me to play guessing games? Or will you tell me straight?"

"OK. I'm happy to do that. What I want is Esthar."

Laguna's heart almost stopped. _Esthar?_ "How is anybody supposed to give away a country?" he said aloud without meaning to.

"Is that a no?"

"That's not what I said. I'd just like some guidance from you on what you'd like me to do. Then I'll be able to help. Until you give me some details I'm a bit stuck."

"I already told you. I want your country. Either that's too complicated for you to understand, or you don't want to help me. Fine; be like that. I'll call you again sometime." 

"Wait!" Laguna shouted. Too late. Almasy had already cut him off. Laguna stared at the phone in his hand, then flung it into a chair and dropped his head into his hands, feeling tears flow down his cheeks. "Don't kill him," he whispered brokenly. "Don't kill Squall, don't, not because of me, please, please..."

The door banged open. Laguna stared at the figure standing there in the half-light. It was Ellone, dressed only in her nightgown, her hair in disarray. "Uncle Laguna! What's the matter?" He opened his mouth to tell her but no words came out. She crossed the room in seconds, throwing her arms round him and pulling his head down onto her shoulder. "Hush," she soothed. "I'm here; stop crying. Tell me what's wrong."

"Squall," he managed to get out between sobs.

Ellone let him cry for another minute, then said softly, "You've finally broken down over it? I'm glad. I couldn't stand it when you were moping and cutting me out." Maybe she realised he had news by the way he didn't answer her; she pulled away to look at him for a second, then said, "What is it, Laguna?"

He swallowed the tears. "I got a phone call..."

"He's not dead?" Elle said in a sick voice.

"Good as." Laguna felt his shoulders starting to shake again. "He's been kidnapped - I couldn't help him - Elle, I..."

"Don't speak," she whispered, holding him tight again. Laguna closed his eyes and lost himself in her embrace.

The room was too hot. The air conditioning couldn't be working properly. Laguna shook himself. The woman cradling him was his daughter. "Elle, will you help me?" he asked, straightening up and getting a grip on his emotions.

"Anything for you."

"Send me into Squall's mind. I need to tell him I haven't abandoned him."

"I can't promise anything, but I'll try."

"That's all I ask." Ellone closed her eyes and leant into Laguna.

***********************

Fresh blood trickled from his lips. "Are you listening to me?" Seifer shouted, backhanding him again. Squall's eyes were open but he could see only the outline of the man standing over him. Each blow sent spots flying across his eyes, until he could see nothing but the beautiful sparkles that accompanied the agony.

Seifer stopped hitting his face and grabbed his right wrist. "I told you not to tell him to leave you. Didn't I? Didn't I?" Squall couldn't speak, couldn't even nod his head voluntarily. "That means you deserve broken fingers at least. Don't you?"

_(Squall?)_

He cried out at the hot pain running up his arm. Seifer bent back another finger. "Some saviour of the world," he mocked. "Can't even take this little bit of pain..." and the finger snapped. Seifer gripped the broken digits and twisted. Squall screamed. His body no longer existed. All that was left was a man-shaped open wound, writhing in endless darkness.

"Say sorry like a good boy." Squall moved his lips but no sound came out. "Can't hear you; try again." He managed an inhuman croak but it was nowhere near enough. "Have it your way." Seifer yanked his arm down and twisted his wrist, throwing all his weight onto the joint. Squall heard a sickening crack. The explosion of agony was so violent that he could hardly breathe.

"You like that? You like getting the present you asked for?"

The buzzing in his head... "Elle," he mouthed through the blood and tears.

_(Squall? Can you hear me?)_

"Does it hurt, Squall?" The broken bone was forced through his skin.

_(Squall, it's Laguna. I'm going to find you.)_

The tiny boy stumbled and fell down the riverbank into the water. He managed to struggle over to the other side. He had to get up. He had to keep running because his sister was lost. He had to find her. But he was all alone, and night was falling.

"Wretched little cry-baby. What kind of hero do you think you are?"

_(Squall?)_

(Dad?)

(I'm holding you. You're not alone.)

"You worthless piece of shit. You know what? You can't stop the pain because you deserve it. You're too evil to live. You pollute the world by breathing its air."

The darkness rushed towards him.

The tall, long-haired man lifted the little boy into his arms.

_(Squall, I love you.)_

*************************

Laguna opened his eyes and tried to push himself out of his chair. "Ellone?" he said unevenly, looking around for her.

"Down here." He dropped his eyes in time to see his foster daughter pick herself up off the floor. "I didn't pay attention. It was taking all the strength I had to keep connected. Did you get anything?"

"He knew I was there. Almasy was hurting him." Laguna told himself to stop shaking. "He doesn't know where he is. Could you reconnect?"

"I pulled you out because he went unconscious."

"I mean, in theory."

"Maybe. You think he would know some background information that would help us find him?"

"Yes. Something about the kind of area his prison's in. Something about what happened last week that we could use to trace him from here. He might have an idea how many men Almasy's got with him, and what kind of weapons and security systems there are. Any which way, I need to speak with him again."

"We could try in the morning." Elle was frowning. "There's some power at work stopping me getting through easily, but now I've broken the shield once it'll be easier next time. Unless whoever's blocking me is watching out for me to try again."

Laguna got up and walked to the window, finally feeling he was calming down. "Next time, we'll get Rinoa over here before we try it. You might need her help, if you get attacked while you're busy."

Ellone had followed him. Laguna could feel her eyes on the back of his neck. She was standing there, watching him, while he pretended to watch the rain. _Elle, you're distracting me. Stop it._ "She needs her knight back," Elle said softly. She slid into his arms; he didn't shake her off, but didn't hold her either. He just stayed draped against her, at a loss for anything to do or say. "Nobody knows whether I'm a sorceress or not," she went on. "I can't cast spells from within, but I have power. Does that mean I need a knight or I don't?" 

Laguna didn't answer. Ellone's forehead was resting against his neck. Her lips brushed his chest past the open neck of his shirt. Laguna trembled. He'd forgotten how it felt to be hot and cold at the same time. "I think I ought to get one, to be on the safe side," Ellone mused. _I need to stop this. It's getting too personal. She's my daughter, for crying out loud._ "Laguna?" Elle whispered.

"Ellone..." and as he looked down into her face, she stood on tiptoes and kissed him. It was not the kiss of a child for her father. It was something altogether more than that. Her mouth hung open just wide enough for Laguna's tongue to seek the opening.

_Stop this, Loire!_ Laguna froze as he realised what he was doing. He pulled away and stared straight into Elle's wide dark eyes. "Ellone - leave. Now."

"But -"

"No buts. Get out. We can't do this." She opened her mouth; he put a finger on her lips before she could say anything to make him change his mind. She pulled away and ran to the door. Laguna looked back at her, standing in the light of the corridor, then turned to stare out of the window again before she vanished. He would not watch her go. Because if he had to see her accusing eyes again, he might not be able to resist the temptation to call her back.

As the door slid shut Laguna covered his face with his hands. "Elle..." he whispered. It would be easy to pretend she had come onto him and he had had nothing to do with it. But now he thought about it, he could see where it might look like he'd encouraged her over the past months. And why had he done that?

The thought of what she wanted from him made his chest ache. The thought that he might want it from her tore him apart.

"Elle," he practised, "I like you a lot. In fact, I love you. No, that doesn't work! OK. Try again. I've always loved you like you were my own daughter. Men don't go to bed with their daughters. Despite the fact that I'd like to...damn!"

Laguna stared at the lightning beginning to play around the buildings on the horizon. There was no way he could be truly honest with Ellone. She would never understand the problem. As a man he wanted her. As knight to her sorceress, he knew that physical love between them would be disastrous. She was too young; he was too old. That was all that could be said.

"I'm in love with her, aren't I?" Laguna asked the empty room. "Oh, Hyne! I don't need this now..."

"So when do you need it, Laguna?"

Laguna spun round. The angry retort on his lips was immediately cut off by the pressure of Ellone's lips. Laguna's eyes widened as he leant into the kiss. Ellone was with him, by the window. Her nightgown was on the floor by the door. Laguna closed his eyes and clutched her to him, trying not to let it affect him, trying to ignore the pressure in his groin. It was no good. He was being carried away by the tsunami of his own emotions.

Elle's hands slid under his shirt; he caught them and broke off the kiss, looking into her eyes. "Ellone - we won't be able to go back from this."

"I don't want to go back." The look on her face said it all. Laguna nodded slowly, then picked her up and walked to the door. His bedroom was one corridor away.

* * *

**(to be continued...)**


	6. Chapter Six: Irvine

**A.N.:** It's been almost a week since I updated this because I'm moving house and things are a little stressful. Console yourselves with the thought that it's been lots longer since I updated my other multichapter fic...which I hope will be up and running again by this time next week.

Ooh, lots of comments about the Laguna/Elle thing... all I can say is the second I saw the end credits of FFVIII my first thought was, "She's chasing him." And yes, it was a bit of a surprise to start thinking that way, especially when I'd innocently sat through all her in-game comments about loving her Uncle Laguna (*eep*). I guess it was something about her expression when she followed him down to Raine's grave - oh, I don't know. Suffice it to say I think they work together very well. She's more mature than her years, and he's, erm, less... Beamy: neither my evil Seifer muse for this fic nor my huggly Seifer muse from my other fics can walk right now... and my Squall muses are laughing at them (the one from this fic is barely breathing, thanks to Seifer's mistreatment and the sympathetic kisses from Beamy, Djiinx, Sakaki22, Mayonaka and Klepto-maniac0 - glad I'm stroking your ego, BTW, Klepto). Sakaki22: *hands over EyeDrops*

**DISCLAIMER:** Not mine. I think. Whatever...

**WARNING:** Angst, poor Irvine, Squall and Laguna (oh, and most of the rest of the cast), that's just about it for this chapter.

* * *

CHAPTER SIX - IRVINE

Squall drifted in the darkness, not certain whether he was asleep or awake. Laguna had gone; he couldn't hear the comforting voice anymore, but the relief that someone might do something about what had happened was almost strong enough to take the edge off the pain that he always felt. Laguna might learn where Seifer had hidden him and Irvine. He might send a team to rescue him. He didn't really care if he was killed while someone was trying to rescue him, so long as the pain stopped.

The darkness solidified and became familiar, a path he had walked in another time. Frighteningly familiar sensations - and their lack - rolled up to him like a bank of thunderclouds.

_Oh, no. Not sensory deprivation again. I can't stand this. He's going to kill me if he goes on like this._

What if Laguna continued to refuse to ransom him? Seifer would leave him in here to die of thirst - or maybe not. Maybe he would want to kill Squall with his own hands. _I've got to get away. I know it's only what I deserve, but I can't face this. I just can't._ In desperation, he tore at the chain on his left arm with all the strength he had left. Blood ran over his wrist where the cuff dug into his skin, but he didn't come free.

Squall sagged against the wall, lost in his own uselessness. _ Gods, listen to me. Make it stop hurting. It's the only thing I've ever asked of you._ Nobody answered him. Nobody cared. There was nothing he could do but let the thoughts run round and round his head, until he was lost in the maze of his guilt, until the river of his mind threatened to drown him. _ It's too much..._

***********************

Laguna never used an alarm clock because he never needed one. The dreams woke him up far faster than any noise could. So why was the dratted thing going off so loudly down his ear? He slammed a hand down onto his dressing table, looking for the offending alarm, but as he had half-expected, his fingers found nothing. He gave into temptation and opened his eyes. He couldn't see a clock, but instead he saw something close to a miracle. The first dawn light was visible through the east-facing window. He'd slept till six-fifteen? Beside him, Ellone muttered something in her sleep and turned over, pulling the cover over her head.

Ellone...and the events of the previous night swam back to the front of Laguna's sleep-fogged mind. He'd got the call from Squall - and Elle had come in not only to comfort him but to seduce him - and he'd let her. Suddenly furious with himself, Laguna scrambled out of bed and padded over to the computer, not wanting to wake the girl who had shared his bed and his heart. Elle was something he had to think about hard, on his own. For now she was a distraction he could do without.

The so-called alarm was nothing but the warning message that came up when he got an e-mail. Laguna was grateful for it anyway. He opened the mail - and froze.

MUST INFORM YOU THAT A MAN ANSWERING THE DESCRIPTION OF  
IRVINE KINNEAS HAS BEEN FOUND AT THE HALF MOON MILITARY  
VILLAGE, ALIVE BUT BADLY INJURED. HE IS CURRENTLY IN THE BASE  
HOSPITAL AND REQUIRES IMMEDIATE TRANSPORTATION TO ESTHAR  
CITY FOR SURGERY. THE MEDICAL CORPS WOULD BE GRATEFUL IF  
YOU WOULD ORGANISE SAID TRANSPORTATION.

"Laguna? What is it?" Elle asked sleepily.

"Irvine's been found."

Ellone sat up, fully awake. "Alive?"

"Yes, thank Hyne. What time does Selphie normally leave in the morning?"

"About seven. It's still too dark for an air search before then."

"Good. I've got time to get things moving before I wake them all up."

"Laguna, what are you doing?"

"Getting dressed," and he pulled on the military pants he'd been wearing the day before. "Irvine needs bringing back to Esthar as soon as possible. I'm going to get Selphie to pick him up in the Ragnarok - it's the fastest, smoothest vehicle we have. But first, we've got to turn it into an air ambulance."

"It's not so smooth to ride in if Selphie's flying."

"I'll get her to hold Irvine's hand instead." Laguna paused in the action of tying back his hair. "Elle - about last night."

She sighed, and swung her legs out of bed. "You wanted it and I wanted it but people sometimes want the wrong thing? Is that it?"

"Well - yes. But -"

"But nothing. Last night was right for us. How can you say it was wrong?" 

"Elle, I'm your father!"

"And I'm not your daughter. Two years ago on the Lunar Base I already knew I couldn't think like that about you anymore." Laguna restrained a groan. When she'd come back to him he'd seen her as a little girl in adult's clothes. He hadn't noticed she was growing far too close to him. Not till now, when it was too late.

Ellone shook her head as if in despair, climbed out of bed and embraced him. He just stood there, forcing himself not to react; he felt her tense over in response. "Where do we go from here?" she asked very softly.

"Nowhere. Elle, we can't. I - I wish -"

"You'll let some notion of chivalry and duty keep us apart?"

"Yes! Ellone, I - I'm sorry."

"Sure you are," she said tonelessly, letting him go.

He thought about putting a hand out to her, but hesitated. "I don't want to look like I'm ashamed of you."

"But you're happy with being ashamed of yourself?" He couldn't answer. "That's something we've got to talk about. But not now."

"Are you coming to get Irvine with the rest of us?"

"Of course. Are you going to lend me some clothes or get me my nightie from the conference room? Or would you rather I walked back to my place in the nude?"

He blushed. "I'll go get your nightgown." He ran to the door without tucking in his shirt, Elle's forced laughter following him.

**********************

"What's happening?" Quistis demanded, staring at the medical team fussing around the Ragnarok's ramp. "Selphie?" The little brunette was running around at top speed on errand after errand, and looked like she had been since dawn. She completely ignored her friend's question. "Anybody?" Quistis continued plaintively.

"Irvine's shown." Quistis' face lit up and she reached out to hug Zell; he pulled away, his face dark. "He's in a mess. We're freighting medical supplies over to the base he's in. I think we're bringing him back to Esthar as well."

"Do you know what happened?"

"No idea. But I can guess." Zell half-turned to where Laguna was standing by the Ragnarok's ramp talking to a doctor. "He's been acting up all morning," Zell continued in an undertone, jabbing a finger towards the President. "Don't know why. I'm gonna find out, though. Maybe it's 'cause Irvy's turned up, and Squall hasn't."

"Don't press him if he's upset."

"If he's really upset, I won't need to. He'll want to talk."

But Zell didn't manage to collar Laguna until they'd all boarded the Ragnarok. The medical team had set up their equipment in one of the back rooms; the others stayed clear of them on the bridge, where Laguna explained in a few words what he knew of what had happened. "Squall wasn't with him?" Rinoa checked after he'd finished.

"No." Laguna's face clouded. He was staring out the window with an unfathomable expression on his face. "I guess I've got to tell you all. I got a phone call last night. From Squall - and Seifer Almasy."

"Seifer?" Rinoa demanded. "He's kidnapped Squall?"

"Yeah. I wondered why he didn't mention Irvine, but if he'd already let him go it would explain things." Laguna had lost the last hint of his usual sunny smile. "I don't really care what any of the rest of you used to think about Almasy. The guy's gone mad. Seriously, he's a nutcase. He wants my help to take over Esthar."

"He _what_?" Zell exploded. 

"What did you say to him?" Kiros demanded.

"He hung up before I got the chance to say anything. He said he'll call me back." Laguna glanced at Ellone, looking away before she could make eye contact. "Elle managed to get through to Squall. She said something was stopping her before. She's going to try it again sometime."

"I'll join you, Elle," Rinoa promised. She'd never been good at hiding her emotions; now she looked furious. "When I find Seifer I'm going to kill him."

"Don't jump too soon," Laguna warned. "If you go after him before we've rescued Squall, he might kill him." 

Quistis had to pinch herself to be sure she wasn't dreaming. This was Laguna Loire; a man who faced his fears and who had always been the first to suggest a drastically dangerous solution to an impossible problem. He was afraid - that Seifer would kill Squall.

Quistis hadn't wanted to believe this could ever happen. She understood Laguna's fears and she shared them. But that didn't mean she could quite believe that Laguna was taking Seifer's threats as seriously as he was.

"Irvine'll know where Squall is," Selphie said absently from the pilot's station. "He'll tell you, you'll go there, you'll find Squall, you'll rescue him, you'll be free to kill Seifer. Easy."

"Not if Irvine doesn't know where he and Squall were taken," Laguna countered darkly. "I don't think Squall does."

"There's no point guessing," Kiros counselled. "We'll find out when we get to Half Moon." He'd been about to add something else. Even Selphie noticed; even she turned from the controls to look at him questioningly. Quistis could see everyone on the bridge finishing up for him. _If Irvine isn't too badly injured to tell anybody anything._ That was her best guess.

***********************

The doctors were initially reluctant to allow Irvine any visitors at all before they'd got him onto the Ragnarok. In the end, faced with Selphie at her most determined, they let her go to him. The others were left to help load medical equipment onto the ship while listening to half an explanation of how their missing friend had come to be at a small army base in the middle of nowhere.

Unluckily - but nothing to do with his kidnap had had anything to do with luck - Irvine hadn't been dumped at the base itself but at the small village attached to it. That meant Seifer's people hadn't had to go through any checkpoints or pass any surveillance cameras to get in or out. Nobody had a clue where they'd come from or vanished to.

"The chaplain found him on his front doorstep at midnight," the surgeon was explaining to Laguna. "He was working late - the boy's had that piece of luck at least. We don't think he would have survived the night outside, with how cold and wet it was." Ellone shivered. She'd known Squall was hurt; she'd guessed Irvine would have been treated similarly by Seifer. She hadn't known how serious it all was. Laguna hadn't thought to tell her.

She surreptitiously watched him as he talked to the medicos. He looked as stressed as anything. She hated seeing him like that because it was so unlike his usual state of mind that he didn't know how to deal with it. He needed help to snap out of it - help he would refuse to accept from her today.

She couldn't be making it worse for him. She wasn't doing anything wrong. She was sure of that. He was the one who was wrong about what they were to each other.

A couple of soldiers and another doctor drifted up to the base surgeon, muttering something about the Ragnarok's unstable forward action. The surgeon looked like he was getting ready to leave. "One of you take over the flying," Laguna was suggesting to the soldiers. "It got a bit rough on the way in." Two of the doctors nodded vigorously. They were the ones who'd been ready to prescribe themselves travel sickness tablets earlier. The soldiers grinned and took themselves off to the bridge.

As soon as the base people had left, the ship took off for the hour-long journey to Esthar City. Zell and Quistis looked like they were literally itching to see Irvine; they couldn't sit still if they tried. She could see Laguna was almost as impatient - for different reasons. He'd sweet-talked her last night but he'd also done his fair share of talking about Squall. He was way too mixed-up over it for his own good. Now, it was driving him crazy that someone who knew something about what was going on was three rooms away and in no fit state for telling him anything. Ellone desperately wanted to go to him, to touch him and comfort him - Hyne, but he was such a tactile person - and she was starting to go crazy because she knew she couldn't. He would just push her away.

At last the doctors were satisfied they'd got Irvine settled enough to receive more visitors. "But he's very weak," the chief medic cautioned them as they made their way through the Ragnarok's corridors to the temporary infirmary. "You can't stay long because he can't talk for long."

"Do you know the extent of his injuries?" Quistis asked.

"He's suffering from severe shock and trauma. He's got several untreated broken bones, plenty of bruises, a couple of nasty burns. Don't be surprised if he's not quite himself when you see him. He's going to be a long time recovering - if he ever does." 

"He'd better recover," Quistis muttered. "Physically and emotionally. If he can't forget it..."

"Selphie's with him," Zell shrugged. "She'll cheer him up no end." So long as Selphie hadn't made him feel guilty for abandoning her. Ellone immediately scolded herself for falling into the trap of underestimating Selphie Tilmitt. She wouldn't do anything but act happy to see Irvine, however much she wanted to cry at the thought of how badly hurt he was. That much Elle was sure of.

She and Quistis poked their heads round the door. Irvine, looking the worse for wear, was sitting up in bed with Selphie wrapped round him as if she was trying to convince herself that he was real. The two of them were talking quietly, his head on her shoulder, but when they heard Quistis and Ellone they looked up. Selphie's eyes were red but she had a smile playing round her lips; Irvine looked haunted but, thankfully, rational. He half-raised a hand towards the women in the doorway. 

"Good to see you. I'm starting to believe this is happening." He sounded - and looked - a weakened shadow of what he had been a week ago. "Hope you don't mind if I don't get up."

Quistis almost ran to him. In a rare show of emotion she threw her arms round him. "You strain yourself at all, and I'll never forgive you," she said into his hair.

"It's my lucky day. I've got beautiful women falling all over me." Irvine's smile faded as quickly as it had sprung up. "Doctors won't tell me jack shit about anything. They keep telling me not to _worry_; I tell you, I'd be worrying less if I got a few straight answers."

"What do you want to know?"

"Start with Squall. Did you all find him too?"

"No. Seifer's still got him."

"Damn it. At least you know it was Seifer." Irvine shook his head, staring off into the middle distance. "I've hardly seen him since we were kids but - something's not right about him. Half the time he acts as mad as hell; next half, he's sane. Freaks me out." He shivered; Selphie tightened her hold on him.

"I love you," she soothed. Irvine brightened at once.

Zell pushed past Ellone almost impatiently. "You going to be OK, man? You look rough."

"I feel it. I haven't eaten for a week. Kinda makes things hurt more. No-one seemed to care if we were starving to death or not."

Zell perched on the side of Irvine's bed. "Anyone told you how long you're going to be recovering?"

He shook his head. "They were hoping SeeD would lend them a magical healer. But Cure spells don't heal breaks properly."

"Selphie's do," Rinoa contradicted him. "Or at least they kind of do. Irvine - how's Squall?"

He glanced down at himself. "Kind of like this. I only saw him once all week. We both thought we were going to die in there; he was a bit upset." He looked from Rinoa to Laguna, where the President was standing at Ellone's shoulder. "You guys need to find him soon. Seifer'll kill him without thinking about it."

"I thought so," Laguna said darkly. He brushed past Elle and joined the group at Irvine's bedside. "If you can tell us anything at all about where you were being held, it would help. A lot."

"I don't know how much I can tell you," Irvine reflected. "They knocked me out before they took us away. I don't know where we were. Wherever it was, we were either in the basement or the whole place was underground. I never saw a window the whole week. And a lot of the walls were natural stone."

"Oh, like that cave I found," Selphie said artlessly.

"What cave?" Quistis demanded. 

"Under a ruined village. The monsters were hiding in it. There were lots of caves, all linked together, big ones."

"Selphie," Laguna said carefully, "nobody knows of any big cave systems anywhere in mainland Esthar."

"They do now. I told them. Irvy, you're so pale. You're tired."

"I can't stop thinking about what happened." He looked round at them all. "Did Seifer boast about how his people grabbed us? One of them knocked Squall over the head while he was asleep on his feet. I could have called for help but I didn't think of it. I could have stopped them snatching us."

"Don't blame yourself," Selphie consoled him. "You're getting all upset again. You need to cheer up. I'll tell you a bad joke if you don't cheer up now."

"I've cheered up."

"Too late. Once upon a time a hundred monks built a monastery..."

Laguna looked like he was determined to ignore her. "Do you know how many guards they post?"

"Too many," he answered, looking more down than ever. "There's so many of them, there were always new ones around. They would have overpowered us if we'd tried to escape. You'll never get in without them noticing you."

"One day a man in a green cloak riding on a white horse rode up and burnt the monastery to the ground."

"If we found the place and broke in and found him, would Squall be able to run for it with us?" Laguna was clearly hoping for an answer he wouldn't get.

"Not a chance. He's so badly hurt - gods, Squall's gonna die. It's my fault." Ellone watched the last of the confidence fade from Laguna's face. If Squall were 'badly hurt' now, he surely would have progressed to 'critical' by the time they found him. If they found him.

"Fifty monks rode off after him and were never seen again. The other fifty monks stayed behind and built a monastery."

Still, Laguna seemed determined to cut the time they took to find Squall down to the absolute minimum possible. "Do you think you were in Esthar somewhere?" 

"Hey, all I saw was rocks. How do I know the difference between Estharian rocks and other rocks?" demanded Irvine, aggrieved. "What did it matter when we were going to die any minute?"

"The man in the green cloak on the white horse rode up and burnt the monastery to the ground. Twenty-five monks rode off after him and were never seen again . . ."

"Do you remember anything from when they let you go?"

"They knocked me out. I can't tell you a thing; shows how useless I am. I should have done so much more for Squall..."

"...and the other twenty-five monks built a monastery. The man in the green cloak on the white horse burnt the monastery to the ground. Fifteen -"

"You don't even know how far they had to take you?" Laguna tried

"What was I thinking?"

"- monks rode after him and were never seen again. The other ten monks built a monastery. The man in the green cloak on the white horse rode up..."

"Do you know anything else at all that might help us?"

Irvine wasn't listening at all. "Oh, Hyne, why didn't you tell me to stop them?"

"...and burnt the monastery to the ground. Five monks rode off after him and were never seen again. The other five monks built a monastery."

"Irvine, you feeling all right?"

"How did I let that happen to him?"

"The man with the green cloak and the white horse rode up and burnt the monastery to the ground. Three monks rode off after him and were never seen again. The other two monks - " 

"_You_ feeling OK, Laguna?" Kiros interposed.

"- built a monastery. The man in the white cloak on the green horse rode up and burnt the monastery to the ground. One monk rode off after him and was never seen again. The other monk built a monastery, and one day -"

"Ask a silly question."

"- the man in the green cloak on the white horse rode up and burnt the monastery to the ground. The monk rode after him. He caught the man up and said to him - hey, where did Sir Laguna go?"

Elle stuck her head out of the door and watched Laguna retreat in the direction of the passenger deck. She wouldn't be missed here. He needed her, even if he wouldn't admit it. She sneaked out of the room and ran off after him.

*********************

_Thank Hyne there's nobody here_. Laguna slammed the door and leant against it, trying to get a grip on himself. "If I could turn back time," he said aloud, "if I could warn him -" _If I could stop messing about and do something_, he added. _Come on, Laguna. Think._

But he couldn't think; that was the problem. He was so caught up in his own fear that he couldn't begin to work anything out, especially when Squall had a whole planet to be lost in. Seeing Irvine so badly hurt, so defeated, had brought home to him how little time he had to think up a solution.

_I don't know how Almasy can think I can hand him Esthar. It's not mine to give. But if I pretend to go along with him, if I look like I'm giving him something, maybe I can get him to lay off Squall. And if I talk to him long enough, maybe we can get enough GPS satellites reading his phone signal that we can track him that way. Yeah. That would work._

But Irvine had said there were any number of soldiers there. Caraway reckoned Almasy had a hundred men. No way could they sneak up on the base in force; a small group trying for an infiltration would have hell's own job doing it. They didn't just have to get in. They had to get Squall out as well.

_And he's hurt...he didn't deserve this._

What if he thinks he does?

The door behind him slid open. "Laguna?" Elle breathed, coming up behind him and touching his arm. "You OK?"

"My son got kidnapped by a psychotic. No-one knows where he is or how to get to him. Half the team are talking about _monks_. Should I be OK?"

"Just ignore Selphie. It gets to be a habit. Look, I managed to connect to him last night. I can try again."

"What good would it do? You can't find out where he is by connecting, unless he knows. And he doesn't."

"At least you could talk to him. Tell him he hasn't been forgotten. Hyne knows that'll be important to him. Everyone's talking about how to get him out, but they aren't thinking about what he's feeling right now."

"So go say that to someone who isn't thinking about him. Gods damn it all, at least that's one thing you can't say about me!"

"Laguna -"

"Leave it, Elle. I'm tired and I can't think straight and you're just making it worse. Sorry."

"It's a little late for apologies. After what you said last night -"

"Will you stop reminding me?" Something in him finally snapped. "What happened last night was all your idea. Can you remember that, and freaking well leave me alone this morning?"

"No!" she shouted back. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop acting scared, and _do something_! You're driving me crazy!"

"And _you're_ driving _me_ crazy, and you can't even see it!"

"You're driving yourself crazy. You're not yourself, Laguna; can't you see that? Start thinking like _you_ and you'll be fine."

"You're saying that to me? How'd you expect me to think straight? You're the one who pulled me last night -"

"Will you stop going on about that?"

"You're the one who brought it up in the first place -"

"I was not."

"You _were_!"

"It wasn't wrong of me - Laguna, do you love me?"

"Yes."

"In what way? Damn it, answer me!" She stamped her foot hard, landing on his toe.

"I don't know!" Would she ever believe him? She'd confused him so much he didn't know which way was up. How was he supposed to know about anything so complicated as how he really felt about her? "Will you go away and give me a chance to find out?"

"How long does it take anyone to answer such a simple question?"

"It's not simple! Hyne, Elle, can you stop screwing with my head and let me think? Or aren't you satisfied with screwing my body?"

"That wasn't called for," she answered icily.

"Oh, come on. You knew what you were doing last night. I thought I knew you, Ellone; how could I have been so wrong? What kind of slut are you?"

"Laguna!" she shouted, threatening to slap him. He caught her wrist before she could, now furious beyond words.

"You dare touch me again, and I swear I -"

The door slid open. Laguna stopped mid-sentence, turning to stare at Kiros and Zell who were standing together in the doorway. The younger man looked astonished; the older one grim. "Hi," Laguna said weakly. Zell and Kiros looked at each other, then back at Elle and Laguna, both now staring at Laguna like he was the devil, or at least like he was the cradle-snatcher he looked like. Ellone let out a hissing, angry breath, pulled her hand from Laguna's grasp and stormed out of the room, pushing past the men in the doorway like they weren't there. Zell stood there for a second, then ran after her. Kiros glanced after them, then switched his attention back to Laguna, came into the room and closed the door behind him.

"Laguna," he said after a pause, "what in _hell_ have you done this time?"

"Ellone and I spent the night together - will you stop looking at me like that? It wasn't my idea, OK?"

He laughed. "You're telling me _she_ seduced _you_?"

"That's just about it -"

"And you let her," he finished flatly.

"I told her to go away and I thought she had! She didn't let me think..."

"You never think - OK, Kiros, calm down," he said to himself like Laguna wasn't there. "Your best friend's just done the stupidest thing he's ever done in his life, and he's done a lot of stupid things, but there's no reason to overreact at all -"

"I pray to anyone who's listening," and Laguna's voice sounded suffocated even to him, "that someone, just one person, understands that I didn't want this -"

"You obviously wanted her, unless she didn't stop short of tying you up and raping you!" Kiros looked furious. Couldn't he, couldn't anyone, understand? Laguna felt tears springing to his eyes. He felt as alone as Squall. Maybe Kiros saw his face. As Laguna dropped his head into his hands, Kiros finally went to him and put a comforting arm on his shoulder. "It's not the end of the world," he said quietly.

"You're - you're talking like it is - and I thought you would understand..."

"Did you really have no say in it?"

"I guess I could have thrown her out of the conference room after she'd sneaked up behind me in the altogether and started kissing me."

"I'll take that as a not much." He didn't say anything for a moment, then added, "You're in one hell of a hole. I just want you to realise that. And to realise what the tabloids could make of this if they tried."

"I told her we had to end it - I don't think she would want to come back now, anyway. Not after all I said to her."

"Then don't think about her for the moment. Pull yourself together."

"OK." He brushed away the tears. "I - I got a plan. We can get a GPS link on his mobile signal next time he calls."

"That's good. That might work. Want me to sort it?"

"Thanks."

He didn't draw away. "Laguna?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you in love with her?"

Just the same question that Ellone had asked. Now she was no longer within hearing range he knew what the answer had to be. "Yes."

***********************

Meanwhile, Zell had dragged Ellone up into the air room where she could vent her feelings in relative privacy. "This isn't fair!" she yelled for the seventh time. "He's horrible. I hate him."

"So what's the problem?" She didn't answer, just started to cry. "Come on," Zell soothed, "it'll be OK. He'll snap out of it." He didn't mention the real anger on Laguna's face, or the chance that he might not stop being so blind to what he was doing to her. She didn't need that as well, when there was half a chance she didn't know.

Ellone sniffed. "He's stubborn, and rude, and I hate him, and I think I love him too, I just don't know..."

"Maybe you kind of surprised him," he suggested. "Letting him know how you feel about him, when he wasn't ready -"

"He's known me long enough! I've done everything but hit him with it for two years -"

"I don't think he noticed." He didn't think anyone had noticed. She'd just acted friendly - or had she? _He expects people to be warm. Maybe he never noticed she was acting more friendly and enthusiastic to him than to anyone else._ "He doesn't always notice things," he tried.

"Hah! He's blinder than a mole." Ellone wiped her eyes, looking more determined than ever about something Zell couldn't figure out. "Well, if he thinks he's going to make me go away he's wrong. I know he needs me."

"Yeah, he needs you - but on his terms. Elle, he's real upset about Squall. Try and make him feel better, not worse. Go on, say you will."

She looked a bit guilty, like she finally admitted to herself she might have been wrong to go after him the way she had. "OK. But it's hard when he won't even look at me."

"He'll have forgotten by tomorrow. Or he'll have calmed down enough so he won't want to hurt you." _I hope._

She nodded. "I believe you." _Too bad I don't._ Ellone stood up, stuffing her tissue into a pocket. "I need to stop thinking about this. Want to go see if Quistis and Selphie have talked Irvine back into the real world yet?"

"OK."

***********************

Darkness. So much darkness, all around him. And he was so cold. But he wasn't shivering; he couldn't.

Maybe there was somewhere beyond the pain. A place where he could be warm again. But even if there was, he couldn't go there. The people who lived there wouldn't let him in. He'd done too many bad things. He knew that now. Nobody could ever forgive him.

_Give me another chance,_ he wanted to say. _Let me try again. I'll be a better person this time, I swear._ It was like the darkness was shouting back that it didn't believe him. Why should it? He knew how wrong he'd always been. After all, nobody had ever told him he'd done something right. Not even people who knew him very well. And they were surely close enough to have seen if he'd ever done something good.

He wanted to apologise to everyone for doing the wrong thing. _But they aren't here. They aren't listening. Not even you, Rinoa. If you've left me I must have done something really terrible. Oh, Hyne, I'm so sorry..._

Squall tried to curl into himself, but he couldn't move past the chains. Maybe that was a good thing. He would feel comforted by any human contact, even if he had to hold his own hand. He didn't deserve the comfort, so he shouldn't be allowed it. All his transgressions formed up in front of him, ready to march past and display to him and all the world how much he'd hurt people and how much he'd failed.

_Hour after hour after hour. Maybe the gods hate me too much to let me die. All the wicked things I've done and thought - all the times I've been so wrong - so many people who've told me I hurt them. I even killed my mother. If there was just somebody - one person in all the world - who could tell me I was good - would the pain stop? Or would I still have to pay for everything I've done?_

I can't stand it - please, someone, take it away, or take me away, I'll never do anything wrong again, I promise - And the thoughts tumbled over each other until they almost stopped, tangled too badly to unravel.

But - was that a little warmth? Just a little? _Is anybody there?_

Someone touched him. His fingers closed around the outstretched hand.

* * *

**(to be continued...)**


	7. Chapter Seven: Raine

**A.N.:**Thanks again for all the reviews! Mayonaka and Baconfat: it is a real-life "bad joke", which was told to me by my editor who heard it from another yaoi writer, Clear Skies, and the last line is "The monk said 'Hey, you! Are you the one who's been burning down all our monasteries?' And the man on the horse said 'No'." Not worth it, eh? ESPECIALLY not if you've been afflicted with the Alternate Version, which begins "Once upon a time a million monks built a monastery..." Mayonaka: you forget. Laguna is merely playing the time-honoured game of "don't-shag-me-I'm-a-paladin". You'll have to bear with him for now. JessyNick: Welcome on board. Sakaki22: glad you're okay now - and how about you invest in a Ribbon for future reading? ;) Djinxx: I'm working on new torture descriptions ALL THE TIME! Baconfat: ta da! Your wish is granted! All Shall Be Revealed!

**DISCLAIMER:** I hereby declare that I am squatting on Squaresoft's land (i.e. I've stolen Final Fantasy VIII - hey, if I steal Esthar, Seifer's plan can't succeed! Booyaka! End of fic! Or would you all like to read some more...?). Please don't sue.

* * *

CHAPTER SEVEN - RAINE

_(It doesn't hurt anymore. Why not?)_

(You've come too far for the pain to touch you.)

(Does that mean I'm dead?)

(No.)

(I'm dying, though.)

(Not far off.)

(I'm glad you're here. I'm not alone anymore. I can pretend it isn't happening. It's hard, when I know it's my fault.)

(It isn't. Seifer's lying to you. You're blameless.)

The words he had longed to hear. _(Are you sure?)_

(You haven't done anything to deserve this. Nobody could do anything to deserve this.) Not what he had hoped to hear - he'd hoped that the voice would tell him he hadn't done anything wrong and that he was good. The invisible person went on, _(I can't stop it happening. But I can help to take away the pain.)_

(I don't mind the pain. I've known it for too long.)

(I mind that you're in pain. My poor love, I wish you'd never known it...)

(Do I know you?)

(Not really.)

(Will you stay? Do you like me?)

(I love you.)

And suddenly he understood. _(Mother? Is that you?)_

(Yes.)

***************************

"Come on, Seifer," Laguna muttered, running his eyes over the complicated satellite equipment Kiros had set up in the corner of the room. He couldn't believe he'd thought up a plan that might actually work. GPS was a godsend. _Kiros_ was a godsend. He'd persuaded all the people who wanted to stay around and shout at Seifer to leave the call to Laguna. And he'd actually stayed beyond the door himself.

It wasn't like he should be expecting a call tonight. Seifer hadn't hit on a time to call, or anything. Still, he couldn't help feeling the man wouldn't leave it too long before getting in touch. _I'll stay here all night if I have to. And all tomorrow. He'll be in touch soon. I know it._

The phone rang. Laguna braced himself and hit the button. "Loire here."

"Hello. Having a nice evening?"

"Just great, now you've called, Almasy." Laguna stared at the monitor. TRACKING SIGNAL... "I so wanted to hear from you."

"I guess. You going to be sensible now?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing." One satellite had the signal already. He could see it bouncing across the screen. Two would tell him which continent Almasy was on. Three would cut it down to a five hundred square mile area. Four or five, and the placing would be nearly exact. "Thing is, I want to help you -"

"Oh, yeah? Then do it."

"I don't know how because I don't know what you want. Do you want title to the land? Do you want to be President? Do you want the army's technology? What I have to do to help you depends on what you want, and if you don't tell me -"

"Come on; use your brain - if you've got one. I know you didn't bequeath it to your son if you have. Of course I want to rule. I want you to stand down in my favour."

"I can't do that."

"You're the President -"

"_President_. Not dictator. If you want me to resign, I'll resign. You'll still have to make your own way to the top, though. I can't help you." A second satellite had pinpointed Seifer's location. And a third. Laguna forced himself to stop paying attention to the screens. He couldn't let Seifer know what was going on. "It's down in the constitution that there have to be elections for the post of President, and I can't change the constitution."

Maybe he'd got through to Almasy at last. The guy was silent for a few seconds, then said, "You can help me to a position where I can fix the election."

"It won't be that easy. If you get caught you'll have a civil war on your hands -"

"Then you'd better be sure I don't get caught. Because I know who'll be the first casualty of that war, if you don't."

"Irvine says you've hurt Squall badly," Laguna forced out. "You lose everything if you kill him. Remember that."

"No. I already lost everything. You would be the one to lose by his death, Loire. You. I'll call you back tomorrow night. By then I want you to have a fail-safe plan. If you don't, Squall will regret it."

"Wait. How is he? It'd be real good if I could talk to him -"

"He can't come to the phone right now. Maybe I'll let you speak to him tomorrow." The line went dead.

Laguna sat there for a moment, then opened the door. "He rang."

Kiros touched his arm for a second like he thought he could draw out the pain. "Did you speak to Squall again?"

"He wouldn't let me. He said maybe tomorrow." Laguna pointed at the monitor. "We got a reading."

"Let's see..." His hands flicked over the keyboard. "Four of the GPS satellites picked him up. His location - hmm. Somewhere in northern Esthar. I'll get the spy planes in the area to pay special attention to the terrain."

"We might want to check out Selphie's famous cave. I didn't think there were any caves that big in the whole country; stands to reason the only ones there are would be in the same kind of place."

"I'll see if I can prise her away from Irvine." Kiros looked him over, seeming sad at what he saw. "You're getting more white hairs. I only just noticed."

"I didn't know I had any."

"Yeah, I always was more observant than you." He grinned, but only for a second. "Laguna - I know you're worried and you're right to be worried but that never got anyone anywhere. Right? He would want you to do something about finding him. Not sit around being too afraid to breathe."

"I can't stop thinking how Seifer threatened to kill him. If we find the place and Seifer notices the squad going in..."

"Be honest. Would he prefer to stay there or to die during a rescue?"

Laguna nodded, heavy-hearted. "You're right."

"I wish I wasn't." Kiros set the data to transmit to the main reconnaissance team's headquarters. "That's done. They won't be long sorting it out."

"I'll talk to SeeD about transferring some more people to search the area. They've got a bigger chance of infiltrating wherever it is than the army."

"Something else you've got to do."

"Yeah?"

"Talk to Ellone -"

"Kiros -"

" - about trying to connect again," he finished ever so patiently. "And as a matter of fact, you can do all of us a favour and get back on good terms with her. I don't care if you feel betrayed. So does she. She loves you, you know."

"And I love her. It's just - this is so mixed up I can't handle it, Kiros. I can't."

"You're just saying that. You can handle just about anything."

"I never could handle Elle. She could always wrap me round her finger just by looking at me."

"Then let her wrap." Kiros smiled wryly. "Now I think about it, I can't see the problem, you know. When you get down to it you're just a man and a woman. So, you're twenty-four years older than she is. Big deal. Men have affairs with younger women all the time. If it's the family thing getting at you - remember she's no biological relation. And try and remember living like a priest when you're sleeping two corridors from a woman you love isn't good for you at the best of times, and these aren't the best of times."

"You were the one who was complaining earlier," Laguna huffed.

"I was surprised. I got over it. You will too, when you give yourself time to think about it properly." He headed for the door. "Get some sleep, Laguna. You'll feel better in the morning."

"Maybe. Goodnight."

As the door closed Laguna thought about what Kiros had said. He was right, and yet...he sighed. It still felt so strange. He hadn't got used to thinking about Ellone in any light other than a daughter yet. Maybe he could, if he tried really hard.

He tried his best all the way back to his bedroom. He experimented with putting Elle in the place of a lover; some of the situations made him laugh. The smiles faded as he closed the door behind him and stared around the room. It was so easy to remember how he'd held her the night before, how she'd softened against him, how she'd touched him and made love to him, how she'd held him when he told her how he was so afraid of what he saw in the nightmares. He was in love with her. He couldn't deny it now. He went to the window and stared out at Esthar. If someone could tell him what he was meant to do...

He heard a light tap on the door. "Yeah?" he called.

"It's Ellone. Can I come in?"

**************************

_Please let him be there, please let him answer when I knock..._ "Yeah?" she heard his muffled voice call from beyond the door. _Come on. He's not going to bite. You should be so lucky._

"It's Ellone. Can I come in?"

A pause. It went on for so long she thought he'd jumped out of the window. Then, "OK." She was so relieved that he'd answered her that she didn't care that he hadn't exactly sounded thrilled to see her. _It doesn't matter. I get to see him. I get to talk to him. Zell said I should try and make him feel better. He was right; I see it now._

She pushed the door open and peeked round it. Laguna was by the window, staring out at his city like he had last night. She resisted the temptation to repeat her own actions; instead she said, "Did Seifer call? I know you had something planned; did it work?"

"Kind of. We know he's up north, near the Grandidi Forest. We'll start searching properly in the morning."

"I'm glad you got a lead. Rinoa and I are going to try and use magic to find him tomorrow. Knowing where he is'll make Rinoa's job easier, if not mine too."

"Good for you both." He looked almost nervous. Because of her?

She couldn't let it lie. "Laguna," she tried, "I came to say something. About us. Look, I think I made it pretty clear last night how I feel about you. That I want us to have a relationship. But if you don't - that's OK. It's just a shame, when we could have been good together, that's all." Then she saw the look on his face and stopped talking.

"I, erm," he started, "I'd kind of like a proper relationship too. It's just I know what people are going to think, and I can't cope with that right now, and I need a friend now more than a mistress. All right? When - when this is over -" no, he couldn't say _When Squall comes back,_ because it might never happen - "we can talk about this again. But right now, if we go to bed I'll just want to hold you."

She smiled, feeling the warmth in her heart transfer to him, and went to him, wrapping her arms round him with no trace of the semi-deception she'd used to get him into her bed. He held her close, running a hand through her hair. "I like this," she confided.

She felt him smile. "You aren't the only one. Elle, tell me to stop being frightened - please..."

"Hush, lover," and she kissed him. "No bad dreams tonight. I promise."

*********************

_(How did you get here, anyway?)_

(I've always been with you. Watching you. You were so cute when you were a baby, you know.)

(Not anymore, right?)

(You can't exactly help that.)

(Why did I never hear you earlier, if you've been here all along? Is it because I'm nearly dead now, and I never came this close before?)

(Yes.)

The door banged open. Footsteps strode up to him - Seifer's footsteps. Squall tried to wriggle away but he didn't have the strength to twitch a finger. _(He can't hurt you,)_ soothed Raine. _(He can injure you, but you won't feel anything.)_

(What if you go away? I'll start feeling it then.)

(I'm not going to leave you.)

Seifer shouted a question he didn't understand. If he didn't understand it, how could he possibly reply? The words came again, more insistent. Suddenly, the Darkness spell was lifted. Seifer was standing in front of him, pulling Squall's head up so he could see him. "I don't understand," Squall tried to say. It came out as an unintelligible croak. Seifer shook him, looking frustrated. He slapped Squall's face with his free hand. That was so strange. He felt the blow, but it didn't hurt. Not at all. Squall stared up at Seifer, probably openly displaying his confusion. Seifer looked almost as puzzled as Squall. He unfastened the chains. Squall immediately fell over.

_(It's more comfy down here. I like this.)_

(Careful; he might hear you,) Raine teased.

Seifer picked him up by what was left of his collar and dragged him out of the room. Squall knew he should be feeling scared, but he wasn't. Maybe Raine was keeping away the fear too. Hyne knew he couldn't manage that himself.

_(You can. I'm not helping with that. I can't.)_

(Maybe it's because I know he can't hurt me. I was so frightened of the pain before. Now there's nothing to worry about.)

(Is the chance he might kill you nothing?)

(Nothing much,) Squall amended. He tried to see where Seifer was taking him. The trouble was that every corridor in the whole place looked the same to him. Did it really matter anyway?

_(Not really,)_ Raine said sadly. _ (Wherever he takes you, he's going to do some more terrible things to you.)_

(If I shut my eyes it won't happen.)

(Better do that, then,) she advised, as Seifer pulled him through the door into the interrogation room he'd been in so many times. _(I'm still with you.)_

"I know," he said aloud, as Seifer handcuffed him to the chair.

"What do you know?" the former SeeD cadet asked irritably.

"I know - that nothing can hurt me now..."

"We'll see." Squall slumped most of the way down in the chair. He watched, shivering a little, as Seifer pulled over a full toolbox.

_(Are you sure he can't hurt me?)_

(Just close your eyes, Squall.)

(Yes, Mother.)

*********************

"You ready for this?" Ellone asked Rinoa.

"More than." Ellone had become more and more certain that something intelligent was behind her inability to contact Squall. She'd come up with a plan; she would try and connect as before, but with Rinoa doing what she could to protect and support the other girl. If that still didn't work, Rinoa would cast a modified Scan through the area Laguna thought Squall was imprisoned in, looking for whatever could be stopping them. Not much, but it would be something.

Elle gave her a thumbs-up sign, then went under. Rinoa drummed her fingers on the table, watching her friend with mind and eyes. Ellone frowned when she was in a trance. It looked strange, like she was arguing with someone unseen. Rinoa wished she knew Elle's power better. But she barely understood her own.

Edea had lost almost all her powers just as Rinoa had come into hers. She'd been able to give the younger woman some tips on using the para-magic of a sorceress, but she hadn't exactly been able to demonstrate. Rinoa had found she couldn't improvise on her own. She shouldn't be restricted to the spells standard Guardian Force magic gave. She still was. She just didn't have the first idea where to start with proper sorcery.

Now was not the time for experimenting.

Rinoa touched her stomach surreptitiously. She still hadn't let on that she was pregnant. What if her sorcery harmed the baby? She told herself to stop worrying. SeeDs bore children successfully, even if magic was not an innate part of them like it was of her. _Hmm. I just mustn't go up against anything that uses Thunder magic. I know that much._

Ellone stirred. "I thought I had him for a second but then something pushed me off. I'd like to try something. I'll link you to me, then we'll go looking for Squall together, and you can try and distract the whatever while I connect."

"Did you get a closer fix on where he is?"

"A little. He's in the western half of the area Kiros marked out. I'm ready to try again, if you're up for it."

"Sure."

Ellone straightened, and slid her mind into Rinoa's. That was so strange...Rinoa fought not to resist. It didn't help that she instinctively knew how to resist. She half-smiled; hooked into Elle's power, she finally saw what it was, knew she could explain it and maybe even use it if she ever had to. _That mad doctor can go take a hike. He can't possibly understand what it really means!_

Ellone/Rinoa stretched her - their? - mind out to the north. To Squall. She drifted past other people, collections of memories waiting to be tapped, alluring in themselves but lacking the unique tang of the one she knew so well. They roamed past deserted towns and half-empty villages, past SeeD units and army squads, into the emptiness beyond. The emptiness that should not be. That place had the feel of abandonment about it, true enough, but it held an overtone that made Ellone/Rinoa sick to her stomach. Almost like maggots in a rotting brain.

_There's something there_, the Ellone half pointed out. _Hiding people underneath it. It stopped me last time._

Hang back. Let me get its attention. The Rinoa half moved ahead, nudged the darkness a little, trying to get it to move. It growled at her. That was the only word for it. It growled, but it didn't push back. Ellone/Rinoa checked the mental defences that she automatically erected whenever she touched another person's mind, and when she was satisfied she pushed harder. This time the thing resisted. Resisted, but in a definitely uncertain way.

_It's distracted_, the Rinoa half observed, bouncing along the thing's mind like a bumblebee. _Slip under it._

I'm trying. It still won't let me. Ellone/Rinoa was getting frustrated, the one side by her inability to do anything, the other by the absolute certainty she had seen something like this somewhere before. Not seen. Seen was the wrong word. Felt? Something she'd come into contact with when she was nothing more than Rinoa Heartilly?

Ellone/Rinoa opened her mind and then slammed it together again, squeezing the darkness between the vice-like halves. And it pulled the last edges of itself away from whatever it had been doing to distract it, and retaliated.

Rinoa screamed as the darkness tore her from Ellone. It flung her away as if she were as light as swans' down; she only managed to slow herself when her mind was halfway back to Esthar. Clawing at the whole planet to get upright, she turned and flew back to her beleaguered friend. Ellone was there, ahead, trying to shield herself from the blows that rained directly onto her mind. Failing.

_Help me!_ Elle shouted in desperation.

_I'm coming,_ and Rinoa flung a Holy spell at the thing's closest edge. It shied away, turning its attention to her. She faced it down, magnified herself with her power, trying to make the thing back away for fear of the sorceress' anger. In the back of her mind she felt Ellone run past her, almost like a chicobo desperate to hide behind its mother. One tiny claw latched onto Rinoa.

_Don't fight it. Run. Now!_

The best advice she'd ever had from anyone. Rinoa concentrated her power into a point and suddenly relaxed all control over it. The second she did so it sought the shortest route back to her body where it belonged. She collapsed back into her own mind, felt herself breathing, started panting like she'd come straight from a battlefield.

"Sweet Hyne," Ellone said hoarsely from across the room. Rinoa looked up. Elle had slid down onto the floor with her arms wrapped round her head. "That didn't happen. Tell me that didn't happen."

"Your head hurts too, yeah?" Rinoa tried to stand up and decided that was a little too much effort for the time being. "Tell me you're OK. I was meant to be looking after you. Laguna'll have a fit when he sees you."

Elle looked up. Her eyes were watering and her face was contorted with pain. "I should have been looking after you, I think." She slid her eyes down to Rinoa's stomach and back up again. She knew. She'd seen the inside of Rinoa's mind and she knew. "Like secrets, do you?" 

"I don't know," she muttered. "I wanted to tell Squall first."

"Not going to happen." Elle crawled over to Rinoa and dropped her head in the younger woman's lap. "That thing - I don't know - it hated us. But it wanted us. Not for our magic. We had something else it needed."

"You touched its mind?"

"It grabbed hold of mine, thank you very much; it didn't give me a choice!" Now Ellone was wide-eyed and panicky, digging her fingers into Rinoa's thighs. "What the hell has Seifer got himself into now? That was _alive_. Never in a million years would it be helping him without getting something in return. If it's the one who wanted Squall and we only think it was Seifer -" She stopped talking very suddenly, pressing a hand to her lips. Rinoa couldn't bear to reach out to her mind again, to feel her fear. Squall. If they'd been wrong all along...

"How're we going to get to him?" she whispered.

"We can't," Ellone replied. "Not without help we're never going to get." She licked her lips and touched Rinoa's hand. "I think he's gone, Rin."

********************

_What the fuck...?_ Seifer blinked and sat bolt upright in his chair. "That was one hell of a nightmare," he muttered to himself. He rubbed his eyes, wondering why he'd woken so suddenly. He'd wanted to wake up so many times.

He stared at the room hazily. That is just too freaking strange. _This place looks like where I ended up in the dream. What a dream..._and he shivered. He could remember it so vividly. He'd taken charge of a group of men, soldiers he'd known while he was under Ultimecia's control. Together they'd savaged Galbadian towns, tried to kill General Caraway, fled to Esthar and crowned it all by kidnapping Squall Leonhart. An afterimage of his rival's tortured body had stayed in his mind, more like a memory of an event than the last touches of a dream.

_Dream...don't dreams fade? I want to forget this one._ Seifer shook his head angrily. He'd forget it soon enough. It was time to call Raijin and head down to the dock for some fishing. As soon as he figured out where in Fisherman's Horizon he was -

Seifer stared at his surroundings for the first time, his stomach dropping so fast he could hardly think. An underground room with damp stone walls and a makeshift wooden door. A desk that was covered with maps of Esthar and odd bits of paper that looked exactly like squad reports. Military-issue furniture. Weapons casually lying around for any ally to use.

_There's nowhere like this in the whole of FH. I'm not in FH, am I? And if I'm not - if the dream was real - oh, shit! Squall!_ Seifer leapt up from his chair and ran to the door. _What did I do with him? Where is he? Damn it all to hell and back, why me?_

He ran to Squall's cell without stopping for breath, threw the door open and stared down at the unconscious boy. He remembered what he'd done now, how he'd attacked Squall last time, how Squall had been too far gone to feel the pain, how he'd eventually given up and knocked him over the head in frustration. He looked so thin and frail. _I did that to you? I didn't mean it. It wasn't me who enjoyed hurting you._

He pulled himself together and closed Squall's door. Time for damage reduction. He'd passed a guard in the hall; half-remembered directing the man to that post earlier. "Nobody is to go into that cell unless I tell you otherwise, understand?" he ordered. "Including you." The soldier saluted, looking a little disappointed. Seifer fixed the scowl on his face so the half-felt remorse wouldn't show. He didn't know what had been happening to Squall while his back was turned. He remembered not caring one way or the other.

_Unless this is all a dream - no. No, I remember._ And he only just made it into the nearest bathroom before starting to throw up at the horrible memory of the - the tentacle - forcing its way into his mind, taking all control from him. He buried his head in his hands as if he could hide from the world.

_It's happening. Again. To me. Someone up there really hates me._

And, yet again, I'm going to take all the blame.

Not if I can help it.

He wiped his face and went straight to his office, dialling a number on his mobile as he did so. "Fujin? My room, this minute. Don't care what you're doing. This is more important."

"What would you say if I told you I was having sex?" she retorted.

"This is more important than sex." He blinked. "You don't sound like you are."

"TROUBLED. PROBLEM?" She always meant something when she flipped between her Hyne-damned modes of speech. Too bad he almost never knew what.

"Yeah, that's kind of an understatement, so get your ass here now." He hung up without waiting for a reply, then pulled over a notepad. _How the hell am I meant to say this? Dear Mr President, I accidentally nearly killed your son, please forgive me?_

Fujin, with Raijin in tow, came storming into the office without knocking. "DISCOURTEOUS. YOU -" She broke off. "Seifer, you look like you've seen a ghost. What's wrong?"

"I think it was my own ghost. Something about what Rinoa's going to do to me when she catches up with me." He scribbled a few lines on the paper. "I can't explain. It's too dangerous. Just take this to Esthar, give it to Rinoa and Loire, and read it over their shoulders. And tell Rinoa to be ready for anything when you all first read it."

"You're not making sense."

"I know. You'll know why when you read the letter. Just do it, the pair of you, before I throw you out of here." He hesitated. "And, for Hyne's sake, don't tell me what you're going to do. I don't want to know. It'll find out if you tell me." He knew he was babbling like a girl but he didn't care anymore. Not panicking was too much work.

Both his friends were staring at him. "Seifer, you feeling OK?" Raijin checked.

"No. Just get to Esthar, guys?" They didn't move. "Now," he added with just a hint of a threat. They looked at each other and ran.

Fujin stuck her head back round the door. "WELCOME BACK." Then she withdrew again. 

"She knew there was something wrong," Seifer said to himself dully. "And she couldn't do anything for me. Hyne, this is a mess. How did I ever get into it?"

_If I get out of this alive I'm going straight back to FH and I'm not moving again. No more sorceresses, no more magic, no more assisting with plans for world domination. If I get out of this. It might attack me when it finds out what I'm doing -_

Why in hell did it stop controlling me anyway? If it's planning something...

* * *

**(to be continued...)**


	8. Chapter Eight: Rinoa

**A.N.:** Hello again... Sakaki22: thankyou for all the dots, how very kind, :) Hope this update increases your comprehension. Klepto-maniac0: what Seifer is or is not remains to be seen... no name yet: thankyou for the compliments and I hope you find a Name soon, :). Djinxx: I guess this will make you happy, then.

Just for the record, I wrote this chapter at the end of January in the middle of a patch of predictable end-of-fic writer's block. I guessed at the time that the best way to clear said block was to write something else that was as unlike my normal style as it was possible to get. Welcome to _Clouded Night_ - unusual for me not merely because of the content but because it was first person and was supposed to be a one-shot uncomplicated short story. It didn't quite work like that...

**DISCLAIMER:** Final Fantasy VIII belongs to Squaresoft.

**WARNING:** Nasty little fight, poor Squall, too much tension, the fallout from last chapter's Melodramatic and Improbable Plot Twist #2. All the nice fun and games we've come to expect, then.

* * *

CHAPTER EIGHT - RINOA

Quistis suddenly broke the silence that had hung round the conference room table ever since Elle and Rinoa had admitted their spectacular failure. "Remember Galbadia Garden?" she asked, her voice bittersweet. "He banned us from ever thinking about him in the past tense. Maybe we should take his advice."

Rinoa nodded, not looking at her. Selphie added, "And if we've given him up for dead we've nothing to lose by going up there and taking a peek. At least now we know where he is." She smiled hopefully, brilliant green eyes flicking from one person to the next. Her mood was infectious and Laguna felt the weight over his heart lift a little. But the SeeDs had lost hope. The signs were there on their faces. Laguna wanted to shake the lot of them, shout at them that Squall was still alive. He might be held by some evil power none of them had ever seen before, but he wasn't yet dead. They were already telling themselves to accept that they had lost him.

_People die, life goes on. They're mercenaries. They lose friends all the time. That's how they have to cope with it. I can't think like that. I'll know I'll never get over him._

Kiros was leafing through the spy planes' scan printouts. "There are a couple of possible sites up here," he said slowly. "If a small group approached on foot under cover of darkness we'd have a chance of checking out the way in. Then, another night..." He left it hanging.

"We've got to go for it," declared Zell. "We can't just leave him."

"We're not going to," Laguna retorted. "Could you all start it tonight? It's cloudy enough to block out most of the moonlight."

Quistis nodded, a little uncertain. "We'd need a couple of hours to prepare."

"You'll have them," Kiros grunted, passing her the printouts. "If you go up to this area -" 

Someone knocked on the door. As Laguna turned, a harassed-looking aide poked his head into the room. "Sir, two people have arrived claiming to bring a message from Seifer Almasy, for your eyes only. They're causing a bit of a disturbance and demanding to see you."

"Who are they? Soldiers?"

"They don't look like it. It's a man and a woman; the man is dark and heavy-set, the woman is an albino."

"Raijin and Fujin!" exclaimed Selphie, sitting up so straight that the others could see more than her head and shoulders over the table. "You've got to let them in, Sir Laguna. We can persuade them to help us."

"I don't know," Quistis fretted. "They're so loyal to Seifer."

"They trust Squall, though. You remember. Say they can come in, they'll want to help Squall. I know it."

"Anything's worth a shot." Laguna's voice sounded harsh to himself. He nodded to the aide; he needn't have bothered. Almost at once the man was pushed aside by a very determined-looking Fujin. Raijin followed her in, waving an envelope.

"Seifer sent us," he said, turning all round the room before coming face to face with Laguna. "Says you gotta read this, you know? 'S important." He sidestepped a kick to the shins that Fujin was angrily aiming in his direction. The woman snatched the envelope from him and held it out to Laguna.

"URGENT."

Laguna glanced at the letter, at the two names on the front. "For me and Rinoa?"

"AFFIRMATIVE." She inclined her head to Rinoa.

"Why me?" the girl demanded.

"SORCERESS. SEIFER SAYS: BEWARE."

"Of what? C'mon. We all know you can talk properly. Tell me."

She glared at Rinoa, then answered, "I've no idea. He wouldn't tell us what was in the letter, just that you have to watch out when you open it. But this isn't what you think. There's someone or something else involved. Seifer wants to warn you about it."

Zell snorted. "Warn us? Yeah, right. Like he wants to do anything good for us."

The hyperactive blond was next in line for the icy stare. "What do you know?" 

Laguna ripped the envelope open. "I know I don't trust him. Rinoa, want a look?"

She came up to his shoulder. "May as well." She scanned it, and gasped.

TO PRESIDENT LOIRE AND RINOA HEARTILLY   
I CAN'T TELL YOU ITS NAME BECAUSE I CAN'T EVEN THINK IT IN CASE IT HEARS   
ME. YOU NEED TO KILL IT. YOU WON'T BELIEVE ME BUT IT'S TRUE AND YOU'LL   
REGRET IT IF YOU DON'T LISTEN. IT WASN'T ME WHO HURT SQUALL. THAT THING   
ATTACKED ME AND MADE ME DO IT. I ONLY JUST REALISED WHAT'S BEEN   
HAPPENING. IT WASN'T ME WHO DID IT, I SWEAR, IT WAS THE DEMON ACTING   
THROUGH ME. IT WANTED GALBADIA, AND WHEN WE DIDN'T TAKE OVER THERE IT   
MADE ME TRY FOR ESTHAR. IT LOST CONTROL OF ME BUT I DON'T KNOW WHY OR   
HOW LONG FOR AND IT MIGHT COME BACK ANYTIME. YOU'VE GOT TO BREAK IN   
AND KILL THE DEMON. RAIJIN AND FUJIN CAN HELP YOU. DON'T LET ME KNOW   
WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN BECAUSE I MIGHT TRY AND STOP YOU. YOU'VE GOT TO   
KILL IT, I'LL JUST KEEP ON LOOKING FOR WAYS TO CONQUER THE WORLD UNLESS   
YOU DO, AND IF YOU KILL ME IT'LL JUST GRAB SOMEONE ELSE.   
ALMASY

Rinoa pulled the letter from Laguna's hands and tossed it onto the table, where the others could gather round and read it. "What is this?" she breathed, staring at Laguna, then at Fujin, her face hardening. "Is his mind wandering or something? How does he expect us to believe this nonsense?" 

The white-haired woman ran her eyes over the letter. "I'm sure it's true. He was almost scared. Nothing frightens him. He couldn't have been acting, either; he's too proud."

"It's got to be a hoax!" Selphie squeaked.

"It's not!" Raijin fired back.

Xu hissed through her teeth in anger. "When you're in league with Seifer and those men of his, you expect us to believe anything you say?"

"We're not lying," Fujin snapped. "Trust us. Please."

Bingo. "OK. You say you're telling the truth and you want to help us. Where's the hideout?" Laguna gestured to the map of Esthar pinned to the wall.

Fujin instantly pointed to a spot square in the middle of the area the satellites had said the base was in. "There."

"Fine. I trust you."

"Laguna..." cautioned Kiros. He looked again at the map and realised what Laguna meant. Fujin hadn't known Laguna already knew where the hideout was. "Oh."

"Exactly. I do have good ideas sometimes."

Ellone's eyes suddenly widened. "Something's happening."

"I feel cold," Rinoa muttered.

"I don't," Selphie objected. "Are you -"

Every light in the room went dim. Laguna scrabbled for a gun he wasn't wearing. All the SeeDs who were armed had drawn their weapons and were staring round, looking for something to attack, not finding anything. Thank Hyne they were too well trained to panic. Their calm steadied Laguna. His eyes were drawn to the cloudbank outside the window. Surely it hadn't been that dark before - and lightning never flashed quite like that -

The window shattered. A black shadow washed through it, towering upwards, solidifying into a vaguely humanoid shape - but _what_ a humanoid. It had to be at least nine feet tall and three feet broad; it didn't walk on the floor but hovered just above it, like it had carefully studied how to walk without really understanding how gravity worked. Where its head brushed the ceiling the touch charred the roof tiles. Wisps of smoke rose from its head in place of hair. Its face was twisted and malformed, a disgusting parody of debauchery taken to extremes. The thing had a stink as alien as a monster fresh from the Lunar Cry. It had to be Seifer's demon.

The demon raised one of its eight sinuous arms and struck down at Selphie. She threw her arms up to shield her head and cried out as a careless arm tossed her aside into the wall. Laguna gagged at the smell of burning skin.

Quistis's whip cracked. The lash landed square across the thing's chest but it didn't appear to notice. The blonde SeeD hesitated a second, probably wondering why she hadn't hurt it, then instinct took over and she dived under the table, rolling out of the way. The demon swerved and chased after her.

Laguna threw the door open. "Everyone out! Shut it in here!" he yelled. The huge demon stopped pursuing Quistis and turned towards Laguna. It swelled, and a thick purple ray flared out from its outstretched tentacle, heading straight for him. He dodged the strike, letting the sideboard behind him catch it instead. As he got to his feet he glanced back - and realised what the thing was tossing around. Where the ray had touched it, the sturdy piece of furniture had completely compacted in on itself. Gravity magic. Ward and Raijin glanced at each other, then threw a good-sized table at the demon. It hit the thing square in the chest and _melted_.

"Shit," Laguna muttered, backing out into the corridor. The demon floated after him, ignoring everyone else in the room, paying no attention to the weapons and missiles aimed at it. He could only watch the demon-thing as it reared up over him -

And struck.

*********************

"Laguna!" screamed Ellone as he slammed straight into the back wall and fell to the floor, not moving. Rinoa forced herself out of her frozen trance. If physical attacks didn't work -

Her wings spread out behind her. "Flare," she whispered, and she twined the multicoloured energies around her hand into the form of a javelin and flung it at the demon. It roared, inside her head and out, and turned on her. She faced it down. The demon hadn't liked that spell, but it hadn't done much damage. "Try this...Holy!"

Light shone down from the heavens, bathing the area around the door where the demon was standing over Laguna. Droplets of golden rain dripped down onto its head and shoulders. The demon shrieked, pawing itself. Where the spell energies touched it there were burn marks on its body; black blood flooded the floor. The thing was swaying from side to side like it couldn't act. _Hmm. Another one of those, I think._ Rinoa noticed absently that this was about the clearest-headed she'd been in battle since gaining her powers. _Maybe I'm learning._

Rinoa stretched out her arms and gave herself over to the magic. Quistis, standing at her shoulder, aimed her Homing Laser beam straight at the demon's chest. It growled again, a low, ominous sound, but it had had enough. It lashed up at the roof, broke it open and leapt out, flying off into the night.

For a moment no-one moved. Then the tension lifted and everyone started talking at once. Rinoa's wings faded away and she found herself clutching to Quistis to stay upright. The other woman helped her to a chair. "You OK?" she asked softly. Rinoa nodded, not trusting her voice. Her mind was looping the loop and she couldn't work out why. But it was nothing to worry Quistis about.

Zell and Xu were lifting Selphie into an easy chair. The diminutive SeeD was biting her lower lip in pain, but she didn't complain. Ellone was kneeling by Laguna in the corridor. "He's out cold," she announced. Ward went straight to her and picked up the President like he was a newborn babe, gently carrying him through to the couch. Elle trailed along after them, her eyes wide and frightened.

Selphie was curling her hands round and round in her lap, talking to herself in an undertone and not looking at anything much. Rinoa knew exactly what she was doing and wasn't at all surprised. Xu - who hadn't battled alongside her - seemed concerned; Zell reassured her with a glance. "She's OK. Believe it."

Laguna twitched and opened his eyes just before Selphie fired off a Full-Cure. "Do I have to get up?" he groaned as the spell energies revitalised him.

Ellone smiled at him, an oddly intimate expression. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself." She pushed at his shoulder. He smiled back and wormed his way upright. The smile left his face when his gaze turned to the hole in the roof.

"Anyone seen anything like that before?" he asked.

"Short answer, no," Kiros answered, glancing upwards.

Selphie squirmed, looking uncomfortable. "It didn't look real. It was like it didn't even know how to live here. Like it didn't belong."

Then Rinoa's mind stopped circling and part of it exploded. The part where the Guardians were. Diablos opened his wings and leapt out of her mind, flying through the hole in the roof and hanging up there in the Esthar sky. _(I didn't summon you!)_ she protested. _(What are you doing?)_ He didn't answer.

"Rinoa! Why did you call him?" Quistis shouted.

"I didn't. He's angry..."

Then Diablos roared. His scream of fury and defiance rang over the city, echoing through the deserted streets all the way to the suburbs. _(Him!)_ he bellowed inside Rinoa's mind. _ (He does not belong in this world. He has no right!)_

(Umm - what is troubling you, Diablos?) Rinoa tried.

_(The Lord of Hell is here. Asmodeus himself. He seeks power to aid him in his fight against my former Master, Mephistopheles. That is forbidden!)_ The devil sounded out of all reason angry. _(There are rules governing transactions between the infernal and material worlds. If all were free to take advantage of your life energies as they wished, your world would fall away and we would perish too. He walks on dangerous ground.)_

"What are you two talking about?" demanded Ellone.

"Diablos says - oh, Hyne - he says Hell's real. I think. He says he knows what's happening. Give me a minute." _(Could you explain to me what he's doing here? I am only mortal. I have never had occasion to learn the rules.)_

(You are not 'only' mortal, Sorceress,) he hissed, slime coating his words. Rinoa suddenly realised where she had experienced the 'taste' of this Asmodeus's mind before. Diablos' mind felt just as unpleasant, just as rotten. _(You have power my Master would kill for, were he here to claim it. The Princes of Hell gain strength from life energies freely donated to them. Asmodeus seeks a kingdom on this world so that he can order willing sacrifices to feed his endless hunger. He enthralled the leader of the Galbadian rebels to personally command his venture. When the rebellion failed, he turned the group's attention here. He wants the country. Your knight matters nothing to him save that he is the offspring of the current ruler.)_

"Diablos says," Rinoa tried, her voice trembling, "that that was a powerful devil called Asmodeus that's charmed Seifer into stealing it a country."

"Well, it's not having this one," Laguna retorted. "Can you ask your Guardian how to kill the thing?"

_(You cannot kill him,)_ Diablos answered shortly. _(But you can weaken him so he cannot persist in material form. Only magic can hurt him, and you cannot affect him at all if he is within the body of another.)_

(So if he possesses Seifer again we can't do anything?)

(You would have to kill this Seifer, or render him unconscious. Then Asmodeus will be forced from him and will seek another vessel. If you attack him then, you can prevent him from occupying another soul. If you force him back to Hell, he will not leave. My Master and his allies will attack him while he is weakened and will destroy him permanently.)

(Thank you.) "We've got to drive it out of Seifer first. By killing him."

"Great," Zell muttered.

"Hey, no problem," Selphie shrugged. "We just go to the base, blow Seifer to smithereens, then zap Asmodeus."

"NO," snapped Fujin. "NO KILLING."

"Yeah, Seifer didn't mean to do anything, ya know," Raijin added. "It was kind of a mistake."

"Well, I guess we could knock him cold," Selphie amended.

Quistis looked at Fujin. "So how many soldiers would we have to wade through before getting to Seifer?"

"A couple hundred."

"And how big a chance is there that someone would threaten to kill Squall if we attack Seifer?"

"About a hundred percent," she answered in the same vein.

"Then we can forget about going after Asmodeus at all."

_(You cannot!)_ Diablos roared. _(He must die, or his plan might succeed!)_

"He's not happy, right?" Laguna checked, pointing to the Guardian Force storming around the sky over the Palace.

"Kind of. He says it's fairly important that we kill it." Something clicked. "Seifer and Asmodeus'll be waiting for us to go after them, or him, or whatever. But right now they won't be expecting anyone to try and rescue Squall, because Seifer told us to kill Asmodeus. We could get him out more easily than ever. So we should go get him, then when he's safe out of the way we'll have a clear shot at Asmodeus without worrying about anyone using a hostage screen."

_(It will suffice,)_ the Guardian Force grumbled. But his anger was diminishing. He turned head over tail one more time, then folded his wings and dived back into Rinoa.

"And you guys can help us get Squall," Selphie added, smiling at Fujin and Raijin. "You can get us in and tell us where to go and cover our tracks and -"

"It won't be easy," Fujin warned. "There's only one way in and it's heavily guarded. And you'd have to pass at least twenty people going down to the cells, and the same number going back up. You'll have to fight your way in and then you really will have him being used as a screen. You'd never make it."

Laguna suddenly grinned. The expression made him look ten years younger. "Never say never. How did you guys get here?"

"We drove."

"Car?" When Raijin nodded, he went on, "How big's the boot?"

Ward caught his eye and smiled. "He says he knew you'd come up with something," Kiros translated.

"Oh, I'm perfect, me."

"What have you thought of, Sir Laguna?" Selphie asked.

He just smiled and turned back to Seifer's posse. "Is there a heat sensor at the front gate?"

"No," Fujin answered slowly, "but there is a weapons detector."

"Then here's what we'll do. You guys're going to drive straight back and tell Seifer I'm coming to talk to him. Make it sound like we're going to use that as a screen to get into the base. But you're going to have a surprise stowed in your boot - two or three of us, who'll go in, steal some weapons, sneak downstairs and get Squall out. When I get there, I'll keep Seifer busy while the infiltration team slip past the other way with Squall. When he's safe, we'll come back in and have a go at that demon."

Kiros was shaking his head frantically. "What are you on? Seifer won't let you take anyone else in with you. If he realises what's going on he'll kill you."

"He won't risk that. And if he takes me hostage, at least you'll know what's happened this time." He glanced round the room. "Any better ideas? No? Then, we got any volunteers?"

"Me," Selphie said at once. "Infiltration's my favourite."

"I'll go too. I don't need weapons," Zell declared.

"Will your gloves get detected?" Quistis checked. Fujin nodded. Zell shrugged.

"I'll wrap tape round my hands. Won't work so well but I won't hurt myself." 

"If there isn't an antimagic field I don't really need a weapon either," pointed out Rinoa. "And I'll be able to trace Squall through our link." Ellone's head shot up. Quistis opened her mouth and shut it again. Rinoa tried to send them a signal to stay quiet. _Nobody needs to worry about me. I'm pregnant, not incapacitated._

"Antimagic field," snorted Fujin. "The base is temporary."

"Then there isn't a problem." She tried to avoid looking at Elle and Quisty. "We'll go for it. You two tell us the layout of the base," and she turned to Raijin and Fujin, "and then Zell, Selphie and I will get set up and meet at the Palace entrance in an hour. The rest of you should try and get there about half an hour after we do. We don't want to be hiding out for too long after we've found him." She rose and went to the door.

But she could feel Kiros' eyes on her back. "Wait." She paused with her hand on the doorknob. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," she shrugged.

"That's a lie and we all know it. What's wrong, Rinoa?"

"Nothing. I already said."

"So why are Ellone and Quistis jumping like they've got Bite Bugs down their underwear?" Xu put in.

"Umm - they have?" she suggested. She and Kiros shook their heads in unison.

"Come on, Rin, what's the problem?" asked Selphie, getting up to have a better look through the hole in the roof.

No way could she avoid it now. She might as well encourage them to lighten up about it by being deliberately dismissive, no matter how frightened she was of risking herself. "There isn't a problem, Sefie, I'm just pregnant, that's all."

Selphie actually stopped moving. Xu jumped so high her glasses fell off. "You're _what_?" gasped Zell.

"Pregnant. Going to have a baby. It occasionally happens when men and women have sex. And will you all stop looking at me like that? I haven't lost the use of my legs and arms. There's nothing stopping me going to rescue him."

"Nothing," scoffed Ellone. "You take one blow in the wrong place and you'll lose the child. Then what'll you tell Squall?"

"It's not going to happen, Elle, so stop worrying. We need my magic. Specially if we're going to do anything about Asmodeus." Just a mention of the devil seemed to persuade her a little.

"You still shouldn't be on the inside," Quistis protested.

"The idea is we won't get into any fights."

"How likely is that?" But she stopped and shook her head. "You're right that you'd be invaluable. But -"

"You think I haven't thought about this? It's a risk I'm willing to take." _I am. I really am. This honestly doesn't frighten me at all. Listen to yourself, Rinoa._

Selphie smiled tentatively. "It's cute and all but you two've got really bad timing, you know that?" She started scratching the back of one calf with her other foot like a child, the smile falling from her face. She almost looked unsure. "D'you have to come, Rin? I mean, we'd like you along but - I don't know."

"You don't. I do. I know exactly what I'm doing. You've got to trust me, Sefie."

"I guess." She still seemed uncertain but she was starting to perk up again. She was probably imagining herself babysitting.

Rinoa sneaked a look at Laguna. He wasn't happy. If he was remembering Raine and how he'd abandoned her twenty years ago... "Should I start cheering or crying?" he asked quietly, his green eyes wide. Ellone leant over and kissed him.

"Stop that. I know what you're thinking. It wasn't your fault." He closed his eyes for a second and let her soothe him. Rinoa smiled. Hyne knew they were good for each other. She'd seen something starting to build between them two years ago and had spent the past six months continuously amazed that they continued to do nothing about it. She was very glad they'd finally admitted their feelings for each other. Especially now, when Laguna was feeling so vulnerable.

Laguna shouldered Ellone off and turned back to Rinoa. "Don't go. Please? Look, I know what you want, but I can see Squall getting back here and not being too happy with us when we tell him how you got killed."

"Do you want him back at all?"

"That's nasty. Don't you trust your friends?"

"Of course," and she glanced at Selphie and Zell. "But say if we get in and find he isn't where Raijin and Fujin say he should be. I'll know before we've gone too far into the base, and I'll be able to lead us straight to him." Hopefully. "And if that demon realises what we're doing and goes at us, I've got the best chance of stopping it." She didn't add that her powers weren't exactly reliable. Because doing so would mean she started to doubt.

She needed to go. She knew it even if she wasn't sure why.

For once Laguna seemed lost for words. Rinoa turned from him to Kiros, who looked about as happy with the whole situation as Quistis. "I need to go," Rinoa said softly, catching his eyes. He nodded, half-turning away.

"I understand. Don't ask me to like it but I admit it's the only way I can see us rescuing him."

"It'll do, then." She ran her eyes round the room. Nobody spoke. She looked back at them all for one more second, then opened the door and walked out.

Fifty-five minutes later, Rinoa climbed off the Palace lifter, stopped on the concourse and smiled to herself. Selphie and Zell had turned up for the rendezvous as planned, but Quistis wasn't the only one accompanying them. Selphie was standing on tiptoes, waving her hands about expressively, head tilted backwards so she could look into the face of the six foot man with long red-brown hair who was leaning against a pillar in what he thought was a suave attitude. Quistis was alongside Selphie, hands on her hips. Zell was leaning on a pillar in exact imitation of his friend, admittedly because he couldn't stop laughing.

"You're silly, and mean, and idiotic, and annoying..." Selphie squeaked.

"Sefie, love -" Irvine protested.

"And you guys wanted to put me on the sick list." They turned round when Rinoa spoke. Selphie and Irvine both looked ridiculously relieved to see her. They both wanted another supporter. "Irvine, what are you doing out of bed?"

"I got discharged!" he protested. "Doc said I'm fit enough to leave, so I reckon I'm fit enough to go on a night flight with you all. Guys, I'm not asking to go sneaking around after Squall, and I don't want to get into the middle of a fight with a demon. I just think you'll all feel grateful for a sniper sitting on the Ragnarok's ramp to cover your asses when you all come running out of there."

"And you'll stow away on the Ragnarok if we don't say you can come," finished Quistis. He had the grace to look embarrassed.

Rinoa sighed. "You know, Quisty, he's probably right. We could use him in Laguna's backup squad."

"So long as we're sure he doesn't do anything other than play sniper," she retorted.

"Hey, I'm not going to! And will you stop talking about me like I'm not here."

Fujin and Raijin's car drew up outside the Palace. The one-eyed woman stuck her head out of the passenger window. "We got it all nice and comfy for you. Do we have to wait, or will the rest of you really be off in half an hour?"

"We'll make it. Flying's quicker than driving, anyway." Quistis cocked her head at Selphie and Irvine. "You two want to make up?" They glared at each other, and then Selphie jumped into Irvine's arms. He held her just off the floor and kissed her.

"Watch the ribs," he said through the kiss. Selphie moved her hands up without replying.

After a minute or two she wriggled loose. "We can do some more of that later. You two, wave us off."

Rinoa screwed her nose up. "The boot smells of dead fish."

"Yeah, I go down the lake sometimes!" Raijin said defensively. "What's the problem?"

"All the way to the base - never mind." Rinoa scrambled in and tried to make a nest in the blankets. Not even to herself would she admit she shouldn't have come. This was for Squall and for their unborn child. If it was a mistake, it was one she had to make. She sighed to herself and made room for Selphie.

***********************

The cell was spinning round, slowly starting to tilt up onto its end. If there had been anything in Squall's stomach he'd have brought it back. "Help", he moaned.

_(I'm trying. Nothing's working.)_

(What's happening?)

(You spent the last twelve hours out cold because Seifer hit you over the head. I'm not surprised you don't remember. You've got concussion.)

Squall closed his eyes. Some of the nausea retreated. _(Which way's down?)_

(Why?)

(I need to go get a drink. It'll make me feel better. I can't tell which way the floor is, though.)

(You couldn't walk even if you weren't falling over sick.)

(I'll crawl then.)

(Stubborn as hell, that's you. OK. I'll tell you when you open your eyes.)

He peered at the world through his lashes, letting as little light through them as possible. _(This good enough?)_

(Down's that way.) Raine somehow indicated a surface that Squall was certain was at a forty-degree angle from the way gravity was pulling him. Appearances had to be wrong. He trusted his mother. Gingerly, he slid his legs off the bed. He wasn't in pain but Raine had been right; he couldn't put any weight on his right ankle. He'd forgotten why. She wouldn't remind him if he asked. He closed his eyes again and went down onto all fours.

"Come on, Leonhart," he urged himself in the whisper that passed for his voice. "Three feet. You can crawl three feet, easy." His body felt so heavy. Such a strain to drag the useless thing along. All for the sake of water that would only prolong his life. But if the sick feeling would just go away he wouldn't really mind living, because Raine was with him.

_(Sweet boy.)_

(Nobody's ever called me sweet before.) Two feet.

_(Rinoa?)_

(Almost nobody.) One foot. He stretched out his good hand, but couldn't quite reach the switch. "Another - pace..." and he fell against the wall, energy almost gone, his hands crawling up to the knob. Water trickled into the tray, overflowed, poured down the wall. Squall opened his mouth and just let it run in. He couldn't kneel up high enough to do anything else.

_(I feel better now,)_ he announced after a few minutes.

_(I can tell. But you're weakening, Squall.)_

(Not my fault. Don't scold me, Mother.) He almost laughed in hysteria. _(I'm ill, aren't I?)_

(You mean you only just noticed?)

He felt something like a gust of wind flow across his mind. Raine's attention turned away from him as if she wanted to see where the wind had come from. He whimpered as his wrist started to ache - just a little, but he couldn't cope with even a pinprick now. _(What is it?)_

(Something's happening. I don't -)

And then she was gone from his mind.

_NO!_ Squall screamed out loud as the pain and the loneliness crashed into him and sent him sprawling. _(Mother, come back! What did I do? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, don't hate me, come back, please! Please...)_ But there was no answer. Just the endless echo of his own thoughts bouncing around his crumpled mind.

_She's gone. She left without saying goodbye. She must have noticed what I really am. She's realised I deserve the pain. I deserve to be alone in here._

He wept until his eyes were raw, until he lost the strength required for tears, until crying could no longer distract him from the agony Raine had abandoned him to. He couldn't move. His body was twisted, broken past repair. And there was no reason to move anymore. There was nothing left to live for. Nobody liked him. He'd thought Raine did, but if she had liked him she would have stayed as she'd promised.

_Maybe if I just stay here nobody'll bother me. Down here in the corner, I'm easy to overlook. I can just stay here till I die._ His cowardly eyes started running again. _I just wanted to be the kind of person people liked. Is it because I want them to like me that they all go away? Am I not allowed anything I want? Even little things? Am I too bad even for that?_

I must be. She's so gentle and kind. She would only leave someone terrible. Maybe it's a good thing she's gone. If she stayed near me I would contaminate her. I love her too much to let that happen.

He stayed there in his corner. The cell could have been the size of the grand ballroom in Laguna's palace and it wouldn't have made any difference; he was locked in a deadlier prison than Seifer's, a mobile one, one surrounding his heart. He was the captive of his own desolation and guilt.

After a little while the door opened and someone started kicking him. He didn't move; he just lay there and hoped the person would go away. When he tried to open his eyes all he could see was a rainbow sunset sky. Distant drums drowned out his tormentor's curses. _Stupid Squall. Shouldn't have hoped. Shouldn't have prayed for anything. You know your prayers can never be granted._ He started to sob again. This time they were not tears of pain or fear or embarrassment. The truth was simpler. He was nothing but a boy alone in the dark crying for his mother.

**********************

The car slowed down. Selphie closed her eyes so she could hear better. It sounded like Raijin was chatting to a gate guard. Then the engine revved again and they drove on. Zell's elbow stopped digging into Selphie's side and Rinoa started breathing again. Selphie hadn't noticed she'd stopped.

She felt the car drive down a ramp - down into the car park, she thought. It braked again; this time they backed into a parking space and stopped properly. Selphie heard Raijin and Fujin unfasten their belts and climb out. One of them closed the door at the same time as the other one unlocked the boot. Selphie told herself to stay still and quiet until they'd gone and she could be sure she couldn't hear anyone else walking around.

In the end she was certain they were alone. She pushed the hatch open and crawled out, shaking her stiff arms and legs. She crouched down and crept forward. She'd been right; there was no-one here. She reached up and beckoned for Rinoa and Zell to join her.

The boot made a noise when Zell closed it. Selphie looked around to see if anyone was coming. When nobody showed, she checked Raijin had left the car in the place he'd wanted, the spot in a corner that the security camera couldn't see, then crept off with the others into the corridor Fujin had told them to use.

When they were far enough away for the camera not to hear them, they stopped. "Can you feel where Squall is?" Selphie whispered.

Rinoa screwed up her nose. "No. I can tell he's somewhere around, but no more than that."

"Then let's go to where he should be." Selphie pushed Zell into the lead. He tiptoed on down the dark passage, Selphie and Rinoa behind him.

Selphie wasn't frightened of small spaces but she felt like the walls were closing in on her anyway. The air smelt stale, which didn't help. She put her hand onto the rough stone wall; it was damp, unpleasant to touch.

Seifer's men had moved into a cave network a lot like the one she'd found further south. They'd taken stonecutters to the walls and floors, and they'd added doors and stairs and electricity and sanitation, but that was it. The whole place was so irregular it hardly made sense to talk about it having floors. Still, that was the way she had to think. They'd come in on the ground floor, most of the living quarters were in the basement, and Squall was locked up in the cellar, the area at the bottom of the cave network. Selphie felt so sorry for him. Irvine had talked to her about his imprisonment, about how afraid and alone he'd been. Being shut up in a dark, damp room for so long you'd thought been forgotten was one of the most horrid things she could think of. She couldn't imagine how Squall was feeling now. But with any luck, she would soon have the chance to cheer him up.

Selphie closed her eyes and pictured the map Fujin had drawn for them. She couldn't remember it perfectly but she knew they had to go through at least three busy areas to get to Squall's prison. Rinoa and Laguna had made it sound like they wouldn't get spotted at all, but Selphie knew better. The trick would be to avoid everyone until after they'd got Squall and after Laguna had turned up to get Seifer's attention. Then at least they wouldn't have too many armed guards to worry about.

After a minute or two Zell stopped suddenly. Selphie opened her mouth to ask him what was wrong, but just in time she heard what he had. There was someone ahead of them, walking down the corridor, whistling slightly. A soldier.

Zell looked like he was about to go and ambush the guy, but Rinoa caught him before he could move. She slipped ahead of him and waved a hand. Her lips moved but she didn't make a sound. A cloud of golden faerie dust floated away from her fingers, blowing round the corner like it was caught in a breeze. The soldier's whistling stopped and Selphie heard a thud. She poked her head round the corner. The soldier had fallen over in mid-step. Zell sneaked up to the man, took his gun, stared at him for a moment then hit his head hard. He didn't wake up, as he should have. In fact, he slept even more deeply than ever.

Zell handed Selphie the gun. She turned it round in her hands for a moment. Irvine had taught her to shoot; she wasn't nearly as good as a cadet gun specialist, but she could use the things, and she could tell the difference between kinds of guns too. This one was a machine-pistol, easy to use. She fixed it to her belt.

Zell took the soldier's uniform off and dressed himself in it. "How do I look?" 

"Daft," Rinoa snorted. "He's four inches taller than you. And your shoes don't go with the uniform."

"I can't wear his, they're four sizes too big!" Zell pulled the soldier's left boot off and held it next to his foot, proving it. His face lit up. He tugged out the bootlace and used it to tie the soldier's hands. The other lace went round the man's feet, and Zell finished by gagging the guy with his socks. Selphie nodded, satisfied with what he'd done. It wouldn't hold for long but it was better than nothing.

It took them another ten minutes to find the back stair Seifer's posse had told them to use. There weren't many people in this area of the base; the SeeDs were nearly caught several times but nobody actually ran into them. As they crept down the staircase Selphie noticed how scared Rinoa was looking. Selphie felt very sorry for her. After all, she'd come here expecting to see Squall's mind at once. When she knew he was here it must be very strange for her not to be able to tell exactly where he was. Selphie remembered how Rinoa would look up at a door just before Squall came through it, how she would beam at him and receive his own shy smile in return. She loved him, but more than that - she depended on him in a way Selphie could never depend on Irvine. _Maybe there's a reason for that. Squall's the most dependable person I know._

Selphie stopped mid-thought and listened hard. "Someone's coming," she whispered, "from that corridor." She pointed to a passage coming off the landing halfway down the staircase. The other two stopped as soon as she warned them; Zell pushed Rinoa back upstairs. Selphie scurried up, passing them. Zell followed more slowly. He didn't need to worry about being seen.

Rinoa and Selphie pressed themselves into the back wall of the stairwell. Zell passed them, going back the way they'd come, so the soldiers would think he was one of them, on patrol. After he'd let his footsteps die away to nothing he crept back to the women; the three of them listened hard.

"This the last one?" Selphie heard a man ask. Another person gave an affirmative-sounding grunt. Something clanged downstairs. "Does the commander think there'll be a break-in?" They'd been discovered? Selphie drew her gun.

The other man snorted. "No enemy high-up would walk into our base without having something up his sleeve. Loire must be covering for a break-in. But after we've closed off this staircase they won't be able to get all the way downstairs without going through two cordons."

Zell mouthed a bad word. Rinoa clenched her fists so hard her nails cut into her hands. Selphie tried not to overreact. So Laguna's plan had worked perfectly. Seifer didn't know they were there; he was still waiting for a break-in, not a break-out. But he'd started setting up so early that he'd caught them anyway.

The soldiers went off, talking about nothing much. Rinoa and Zell relaxed. Selphie put a finger on her lips, waving to the others to stay where they were, and tiptoed down the stairs with her back against the wall. She peered over the banister. They could still go down one floor but not the two they needed. A gate blocked the way to the bottom floor, the floor Squall was imprisoned on. A little black box was attached to the gate's padlock. It would probably raise an alarm if anyone tampered with anything down there.

Selphie crept back up to Zell and Rinoa. "We can't go all the way down," she whispered. "Can you remember if there's another way?"

Rinoa nodded. "It'll be guarded."

"Doesn't matter now. C'mon."

They went down one flight. Zell looked at the alarm but didn't do anything to it. When they entered the next corridor he moved into the lead again. Rinoa and Selphie stayed close to him. "Maybe you should pretend to capture us," Selphie whispered to him.

He shook his head. "I'd have to take you to Seifer. He'd recognise me." Too bad. Selphie consoled herself by deciding it had been a good idea anyway. She looked at her watch. They'd been here twenty minutes. Laguna was due in another ten. If they hadn't been stopped by those soldiers they could have rescued Squall by now. There really wasn't long left before their backup would have to come and go again. Laguna couldn't stay talking to Seifer forever.

Zell had memorised the map just as carefully as Rinoa; he led them through the barracks with no trouble at all. There didn't seem to be a single man off duty. Maybe that shouldn't be surprising. After they'd got into the storage area they started seeing people in ones and twos. Even Zell stayed out of sight when that happened. Seifer's company was so small that his uniform wouldn't fool anyone for long. The real soldiers would know everyone in the base.

After a couple of minutes they reached the room with the other staircase in. Selphie listened hard and decided there was no-one in there. She was about to open the door when Rinoa put a hand on her arm. Selphie gasped; Rinoa's hand was trembling. She pulled Selphie away from the door, threw a storeroom door open and dragged Selphie inside. Zell chased after them. "What -" he started.

"Shush!" Rinoa whispered, putting her ear to the door.

Selphie did the same - and heard someone come into the main room beyond. "No-one here, Seifer," Raijin reported.

"Good," Selphie heard Seifer answer. "I still don't like this. Something's wrong. You're sure Loire will honour the deal by coming unarmed?"

"Yeah," Raijin answered, sounding unhappy about something - probably about lying to Seifer. "And no-one's got a cat's chance in hell of getting down here, ya know. Not with the main stair blocked like it is."

"I'm sure." The two men moved away but they didn't shut the door behind them. Selphie could still hear them talking. "I'll be taking some men out of the cell bay. I'll want them in the main hall when Loire gets here."

"Why? Ya think he'll pull a fast one? Have his mates crash the party?"

"Yes. They'll come in to try and get to Squall. I want them to have to think about something else. If Loire doesn't come up with something good to show me he's not just here for decoration, I'll have a gun to his head before he can blink."

Selphie caught her breath as Raijin said, "I don't think that's a good idea, Seif. I mean, attacking the guy 'cause you don't like what he says -"

"I think it's a great idea, thanks, Raijin," Seifer interrupted in a tone that meant 'this conversation is over'. "If he's fool enough to try it on, we'll get him. No escape." 

The voices faded away to nothing. Rinoa wriggled away from Selphie and whispered, "The way they were talking the route downstairs is blocked."

Selphie found the light switch. "The way Seifer was talking," she retorted, "Sir Laguna's going to get jumped as soon as he gets here. We can't let that happen!"

Zell gave her a little shake, which from him was quite forceful. "Cool it. If we can't get out of here, we can't do nothing for Squall or Laguna."

"Wait." It was Rinoa, standing there with such a strange look on her face. "I think I know how to work out what we can and can't do. Elle didn't mean to, but she showed me..."

She closed her eyes. Her wings opened. Selphie hesitated, told herself she didn't need to be scared of her friend, and reached out and touched the edge of the nearest pure white wing. The feathers were so soft she could hardly feel them. Then Rinoa opened her eyes, and the wing melted away from Selphie's hand like the powder snow that she'd played with in Trabia when she was little. "I understand," she said softly.

"Rin?" Zell prompted.

"Huh? Oh, that." She shook her head, looking almost annoyed with herself. "By mistake, Elle showed me how to use my powers to touch other people's minds. I know where Squall is -"

"Oh, yeah!" Zell erupted, then looked around guiltily and calmed down.

Rinoa held up a finger in warning. "I know where he is because there's a barrier round his mind. I'd attract the attention of whatever put it there if I tried to shift it. There's one round Seifer's mind as well."

"So Asmodeus probably put them up," Selphie suggested.

"It feels like it. Anyway, there's lots of other minds - people - round where Squall is. There's way too many to fight. We can only get down if I can put up an illusion to hide us from them. I know I could hide myself, but I'm not sure if I can manage you two, and I don't fancy going down alone. Specially if he's too badly hurt for curative magic to heal him properly. I can't carry him, not without using a Float on him at least, and if I did that I couldn't keep up the illusion." She scowled, then went on, "Seifer's waiting for Laguna; he's got a few soldiers with him and lots more in hiding in the area. They're kind of trigger-happy."

Selphie stamped her foot. "We've got to warn him."

"That's the other thing. The Ragnarok just landed outside. I can talk to Elle, get her to warn everyone, but I think Laguna's left already - hold on -" She closed her eyes again, this time staying silent for only a few moments. "She hears me. She's telling Laguna he's going into a trap. He's got Ward and Quistis with him, and they're armed. Kiros and Ellone will follow if there's trouble, leaving Irvine to guard the ship."

"So what can we do to help?" Zell looked from one woman to the other like he was expecting some brilliant plan. Selphie didn't know what to say. There were so many things they had to do -

And so very few that they could do. "I know!" she said, pulling the other two into a huddle. "Listen up. We can't do anything about Squall right now - yeah, Rinoa?" She nodded. "OK, then," Selphie went on. "The problem is all the people in the way. So we get them out of the way - by attacking the people who are going to attack Sir Laguna. That gets him off the hook too. We go for them, we get all Seifer's people's attention upstairs, then we double back downstairs and get Squall out once everything's under control up here."

"If we can't get downstairs to Squall, how can we get upstairs to Seifer?" Zell challenged her.

"I don't know. Rinoa?"

The sorceress thought for a moment, head tipped to the side, eyes closed. "We can't," she said slowly after a moment. "But what we could do is hide just outside the room and jump on them when they go for Laguna."

"Then let's do it!" Selphie said impatiently. She marched out of the storeroom and opened the door into the stairwell. Rinoa caught her up and Zell slipped past her. Selphie heard a couple of soldiers moving around above her, then she heard Zell exchange a word of greeting with the other people, and then she heard the unmistakable sound of one man hitting another. She hurried upstairs. Zell was breathing as lightly as ever, pulling the unconscious bodies of two men into a side passage out of the way. He caught her eye and grinned.

"Want to switch clothes?" he whispered. She nodded and helped him strip the two. Rinoa caught them up and, like Selphie, hurriedly changed. When they were done they slipped out of the side passage. Behind a door up ahead of them, Selphie could hear people moving around quietly. That had to be the soldiers waiting to attack Laguna.

Rinoa touched Selphie's arm. "They won't pay attention to us," she whispered to the two SeeDs, "but we won't really be invisible." Selphie nodded. She pushed open the door.

About twenty men were standing around in the next room, all carrying weapons. The ceiling in here was quite high. The way the roof sloped suggested the room beyond was even bigger. The door on the back wall was open a crack. She could hear voices coming through it. One was Seifer's. The other was Laguna's. Selphie closed her hand round her gun and waited for things to start happening.

* * *

**(to be continued...)**


	9. Chapter Nine: Asmodeus

**A.N.:** And here we are again... There's only a couple of chapters to go, so love them while they last ;) Mayonaka and Lili; do you know how many people yell at me for writing cliffhangers? I think you all should form some kind of support group... Baconfat; I guess I just enjoy visualising the character interactions so much that I focus on them to the exclusion of the description of the set - which is sometimes a bad thing, like in the first write-up of Chapter One of this story...and, you know, tension can be dragged out too long. Like when, a couple of years ago, I drew out the tense/exciting ending of a story for so long that you might have said it finished four or five times. I was kind of doing it again here, I think. Sakaki22; go for it! Djinx; my editor says Squall's going to provide my punishment in the afterlife. Klepto-maniac0, DarkJedi and REM; glad you enjoy it. This wish of yours, at least, is granted. Enjoy!

Oh - and everyone who's enjoying this should go read Stella Anon's fic, _Regrets of a Father_. It's really good and it has tons of Squall-Laguna angst in it. And she dedicated the last chapter to me! :)

**DISCLAIMER:** FFVIII isn't mine. The story does belong to me, though, and if anyone wants to archive it please ask me and credit me.

**WARNING:**Random fight scenes involving senseless violence. Start of a stretch of sap that lasts for more than two chapters. Ouch...

* * *

CHAPTER NINE - ASMODEUS

Laguna squinted at the cliffside in front of him, impressed despite himself. Seifer's people had concealed their cavern's entrance so well that even a close fly-past in the Ragnarok hadn't revealed it. Now the ship was on the ground her occupants could clearly see the ground-out track, the enlarged cave entrance sheltered by an overhang, the guard post at the front gate, the sniper's sheltered foxhole nearby. Seifer had got the message, sure enough. The Ragnarok's hatch was open. Any gunman at the entrance could have taken a shot at the people congregating at the top of the ramp. No gunfire came their way. Seifer wanted to talk, at least at the moment.

That didn't change the fact that walking into that cave would be one of the craziest things Laguna had ever done. If Seifer had been in his own mind there was no way he could have done it. It would have been suicide. The demon prince controlling him didn't seem to have a human's outlook on things. A human wouldn't have released one of his hostages, nor would he have risked Squall and Irvine's lives by hurting them quite as badly as they had been, nor would his demands have been so excessive that Laguna had had to refuse them. 

Ellone touched Laguna's arm. "Seifer's setting up a trap inside. If you stall too long you'll get attacked."

"You sure?"

"Rinoa just told me." She sounded miffed that he'd even questioned her. She turned to Irvine, busy setting up a sniper rifle as far back inside the ship as he could. "She says that they're all dressed as soldiers. Don't shoot till you can be sure you're not firing at them."

Irvine grinned at her. "I'd know the three of them anywhere. Don't fret."

"I won't."

Quistis finally finished casting protective spells over herself, Ward and Laguna. "Be careful," Kiros cautioned the three of them, pulling his katals over his hands as he spoke. "Shout the second you see trouble." He'd called Quistis's mobile so the little phone tucked innocuously in her pocket would double as a bug until the battery ran out. He and Elle should know everything that happened.

He worried about Ellone in this situation. She might get away with staying on the ship but in all honesty she would almost certainly get into the middle of a battle. And she wasn't any kind of fighter. She'd started learning combat magic, sure enough, but she'd never had to use it and he didn't know that she wouldn't crack under the pressure.

Too late he remembered that his diminutive lover could read minds. Ellone's arms wrapped round his waist from behind, and he felt her cheek rest on his shoulder blade. "Stop that," she whispered. "I'll be OK, I promise." He wriggled round so he could hold her too. He smiled down at her. The eyes hovering under his chin radiated emotions up at him so strongly he could almost feel them; love for him, fear for Squall, hatred for Seifer and Asmodeus, a soldier's anticipation for the fight that he prayed would never come. He couldn't stop himself bending to kiss her.

He felt Ward's eyes on him and turned round. The big man was leaning against the wall with an amused look on his face, silently asking Laguna if he'd quite finished. Laguna would never know how Ward managed to convey degrees of sarcasm in a facial expression. "Just coming," Laguna lied.

"You better mean that." Quistis, looking threatening, hooked her arm round Laguna's. "Hurry, or we'll keep the others waiting." She towed Laguna out of the hatch, Ward following them, but she suddenly dropped Laguna and stuck her head back into the ship. "And, Ellone, leave your shawl behind. How do you think you're going to be able to use your arms while you're wearing it?"

"Do I have to? I like it."

"Don't care. Take it off."

Elle scowled. "If you insist."

Quistis caught up with the two men, drawing her whip as she did so, her eyes fixed on the cavern entrance ahead. No sense in failing to deter what trouble they could.

There was something about walking into danger that never failed to set Laguna's pulse racing. He was so addicted to the feeling that he might well have done this had he not known he was far more valuable to Seifer alive than dead, under any circumstances. The feeling stuck with him as he and his two bodyguards went through the checkpoint, passed by the vehicle entrance and were escorted through the door to the main complex, into a huge cavern that clearly served as an entrance hall and drill room. It didn't survive even one sight of Seifer.

It had been almost certain that Asmodeus would have regained his control over Seifer before the rescue team arrived. One look at the man's face told Laguna that that was so. The Seifer who had written that letter had gone; this man didn't know what fear and remorse were. Laguna remembered his thirty-second immersion in Squall's thoughts three days ago, and shivered. Right now Seifer was incalculably dangerous.

Laguna stopped thinking about that and looked round the room, deceptively casually. There were about twenty soldiers ranged behind Seifer, but they wouldn't be the ambush Rinoa had warned Ellone about. There had to be someone else in the area, hiding. But there was hardly any furniture in the room, and the thick stalactite pillars dotted around couldn't exactly hide an army. If Seifer was going to spring something on them there were just two ways it could come - through the entrance they'd used, or through the only other door in the room. That door was ajar, just a crack. Laguna couldn't see anyone standing on the other side of it, and he didn't dare spend long looking.

He wondered where Selphie's team was - hopefully halfway out of the base already. But Seifer wasn't acting like Squall's disappearance had been noticed yet. _I can't let him think there's something like that going on, or they'll never get out._

"Nice to see you," Seifer observed off-handedly.

"Too bad I can't say the same. I hope you're ready to talk sense at last." 

"And I hope you are," he retorted.

Laguna jerked his head at a soldier who was unobtrusively walking behind them. 

"What's he doing?"

"Closing the door. What's it look like?"

"Don't," Laguna told the man. When he hesitated, Laguna added in Seifer's direction, "Tell him not to."

"I order things in this base the way I want them."

Laguna shook his head. "Not any more. That door stays open, or we leave now."

Seifer held his eyes for a second. "As you wish," he said in the end with an attempt at indifference. The soldier moved away from the door. "Now, as we were saying last time -"

"As I think I was saying last time, you need to start coming up with alternatives. What you want, I can't promise you, no matter which way up you turn it."

"And I think I told you I will not compromise."

"I know. And I have been thinking about it all. There's only one solution I can think of. We sit down with a map and work out a division of the country. My city won't let me abandon it, unless you're prepared to wait for ten or twenty years while the council decides whether or not to accept my resignation."

He'd got Seifer's attention, at the least. "We'd need to spend a while organising, yes," he said slowly. "I just fail to see how your authority stretches to this."

"It'll work, only because a lot of the land is only nominally under central control. The citizens won't notice a transfer of power, and won't care much about it either." Except that there were no citizens in the part of the country he would offer to chop off if Seifer actually produced a map. They'd all died in the Lunar Cry, or found life in their isolated area unsupportable for the same reason. _And if he sees the obvious holes in this I'm done for and Squall's probably dead. Firstly, I'm lying; secondly, I'm offering him the abandoned area._ Laguna could feel the sweat pooling at the bottom of his spine. _This is more bullshit than I've ever talked in all my life. Those guys downstairs had better hurry._ "And there's a few guarantees I want from you before we finalise anything. For a start, I want Squall back alive and healing. You don't just stop hurting him; you start taking care of him. I've seen what you did to Irvine. If you keep going the way you started, he'll die before we get anything organised. I doubt either of us want that."

"Yeah, I could do without a missile strike on this place. But there's another matter. You've got to get out to organise everything."

"You gave us a cheap ticket out of here when you let Irvine go. He could probably shoot everyone in this room from out there round the corner."

"Fucking snipers," Seifer muttered. "I should have cut his hands off while I had the chance."

There still hadn't been an alert, either for an intruder or for an escaped prisoner. Laguna was starting to worry. He glanced at the door into the rest of the base again. Was it just his imagination, or were there shadows moving on the other side? "That really would have been a fatal mistake."

"SeeD would come and assassinate me for ending the career of another of their heroes? Not likely. Not unless you're prepared to float the cost of the fatalities. Garden wouldn't."

"You'd go down if they tried hard enough. Nobody's invulnerable."

"You'd do well to remember that." The door was moving, just a touch, like there was a crowd of people standing beyond it trying to keep still. "I promised you a word with Squall today, didn't I? How about he comes up here now, so you two can have that talk?"

"Sure you wouldn't be threatening him any, if he came upstairs?"

"Nah. That game's getting a little boring." He gestured to the soldiers behind him without turning round. "Go get Leonhart. Bring him up here."

_Perfect; now they'll really find out something's wrong down there._ "You don't have to do that," Laguna protested as one of the men moved to do Seifer's bidding. "If he's as badly hurt as I think he is he'd do better staying put."

"I wouldn't want to miss the touching reunion scene," Seifer said sarcastically. The soldier had his hand on the doorknob. "And I -"

The door exploded. Light and heat blossomed out of the anteroom beyond. Flames engulfed Seifer's would-be messenger, turning him into a human firework; a rain of burning splinters peppered the soldiers ranged nearby. The bodies of four gunmen flew out into the main hall, propelled by the blast force, to land in a twisted heap on the floor.

Seifer froze for a second, then drew his gunblade and ran at Laguna. He jumped out of the way behind a stalagmite and Quistis leapt into Seifer's path, taking him on. Seifer's soldiers recovered from the explosion and came at the three intruders; Ward blocked their path, hefting his harpoon. Laguna overturned a table and dived into its shelter. Shots were ringing out from all directions. He wouldn't stand a chance unless he took cover.

He turned from side to side, trying to work out what was happening. The guard at the entrance was crumpling to the floor, blood spurting from a neck wound. He could just see another body sprawled on the ground outside. Kiros and Ellone came flying into the room; Elle ran for Laguna's barricade, and Kiros joined Ward pushing the soldiers back to the other side of the room. "What happened?" Elle shouted.

"They did." Laguna pointed at the door into the rest of the base. Selphie and Rinoa were standing in the blazing doorway, the SeeD firing on the soldiers in the room and the sorceress casting backwards at some opponent out of Laguna's line of sight. "I think Rinoa cast something at it."

"Don't you think she went a bit too far?" 

"Not really."

Zell came running out of the anteroom and muscled into the fight, knocking down two soldiers before they'd seen him. Beside Laguna, Ellone took a deep breath and loosed a Thunder spell at just about the only man who was in danger of hurting the martial artist. The soldier stumbled and collapsed, unconscious or dead.

Rinoa and Selphie broke and ran. A squad of soldiers chased after them. Selphie backed towards the upturned table, shooting as she went; Rinoa didn't bother aiming for cover, but kept on casting powerful spells at the soldiers following them. Laguna stared at them without really seeing anything at all. Rinoa. Zell. Selphie. Where was Squall?

********************

"_Kiros_!" Quistis yelled into the mobile as the door exploded. Without waiting for any response she flung the phone aside, jumped in front of Laguna and lashed out with her whip, catching Seifer's right wrist. He swore and passed Hyperion to his left hand. Quistis cursed Seifer's ambidexterity and moved backwards, heedless of the soldiers' bullets starting to streak towards her. The world retreated, folded in on itself, until nothing was left but herself and Seifer, circling each other.

He had the short-range weapon; he pressed to close. She kept moving, not to try and wear him out but to prevent him from gaining a steadying point. But like any swordsman he almost never lost his balance and could attack on the move. He lunged at her; she dodged and struck into his recovery. The whip-cut missed his face, where she'd been aiming, and landed across his chest. He barely even flinched, running forward before she could recover and slashing down at her.

She took advantage of his height and ducked under his outstretched arm, trying to bring her weapon up to catch round his. That failed to work because he was standing on the end of the whip. She ran past him, tripping him with the Save the Queen as soon as he got off it. He caught himself before he could fall. For half a second she caught his gaze. Green eyes locked with blue. All of a sudden she knew. _Seifer_ didn't want to fight her. His body would fight the duel until one of them collapsed, but it was not being controlled by his mind.

If she could outthink him as a result... Quistis cracked the whip again, driving him back by the sheer speed of her reactions, forcing him onto the defensive. He parried, avoiding the worst of the effects of her strike, but she'd unnerved him sufficiently to prevent the riposte. Quistis feinted to the left and flicked her weapon back to strike him in the face. He staggered back, covering his eye with his right hand. She closed in for the kill.

He awaited her. With a single stride he closed the distance between them so he was within striking range. A fury burnt in his eyes that bordered on insanity. He swung the heavy blade down on her two-handed. The blade bit into her arm. She fell away from him, reeling from the pain. He came forward, preparing to follow through. Whether Seifer Almasy intended it or not, his next blow would kill her.

Healing magic poured into her from behind. The wound closed and she felt reinvigorated. She straightened and leapt out of Seifer's way once more. He turned to follow - and took his turn to stumble, as a golden blast of energy from a Meltdown spell caught him in the chest, knocking him backwards. Quistis muttered, "Stop," and waved her hand, given room to cast for the first time in the fight. A greyish gas cloud billowed from her outstretched palm and engulfed Seifer. He shook his head numbly, attempting to fight off the effects of the spell. Quistis would have cursed if she'd had the energy to spare. He was staggering under the spell but it hadn't completely stopped him acting.

Then Zell Dincht came up out of nowhere and barrelled straight into Seifer, striking him across the neck. He went down at once, out for the count.

Quistis sucked in air, staring at Zell, unable to work out how he'd reached her. He turned away from Seifer, appeared to notice her for the first time and grabbed her hand, towing her out of the centre of the room as fast as she could run. "What are you doing?" she panted.

"Saving your ass, most likely," he shouted over his shoulder, pulling her behind an upturned table. "See what you've got into, why don't you?" He didn't stay for an answer but dashed off into the fight again.

Quistis took one look round the room and wondered why she was still alive. Temporary barricades had sprung up at either end of the room; she was huddling behind the one nearest to the door, as were Laguna, Ellone and Selphie, the latter dressed in a soldier's uniform. Seifer's men had split their forces. Both groups were in position, one across from them and the other right of centre, firing on their barricade. At least, most of them were. A pile of burning bodies lay on the floor by the door to the rest of the base, every last one a member of Seifer's renegade army. The door itself was aflame, as was the lintel above it.

Kiros, Ward and Zell were attacking the soldiers' right hand emplacement head on. Rinoa stood against the back wall casting spell after spell in their direction, both personal supports and attack spells to weaken the enemy. Her wings flowed out behind her, twin frozen streams. The enemy bullets bounced straight off her protective barriers. Ellone and Selphie were kneeling up behind the barricade, aiming spells at the left-hand group of soldiers, keeping them busy. Quistis steadied herself and chanted the words to Bad Breath, directing the spell towards the group Ellone was targeting. The gunfire from behind that barricade immediately decreased.

"Where's Squall?" Laguna was shouting down Selphie's ear.

"Downstairs; we couldn't get to him!" she yelled back. Another handful of men thundered into the room. "There were too many people in the way. They're all coming up now we've got their attention."

Quistis held back a curse. "Fuck," Laguna muttered with no such restraint. Objective one, failed.

Seifer had regained consciousness and, sans gunblade, was crawling out of the line of fire - towards their barricade rather than the soldiers'. Quistis wondered with a kind of hazy detachment whether she would have to try and kill him again. Then the world changed and she knew she would not.

He was moving, but something in him was moving as well. From out of Seifer's body seeped the blackened form of the demon they had fought in Esthar a bare few hours ago. Asmodeus shook himself as he drew up to his full height, and swung his head from side to side. Quistis felt a touch on the inside of her head. Asmodeus was looking for another suitable host. She tensed instinctively, trying to push him away from her. Nothing happened. It was like she was trying to pick up something without using her hands.

But then Rinoa ran into the centre of the room, magical energies flashing around her and making her shimmer like a mirage. She skidded to a stop and raised her hands. A gigantic ice shard shot out from her palms and hit the devil square in the middle of the chest. He roared and flinched away, and the pressure on Quistis's mind vanished as Asmodeus concentrated on the sorceress who had dared to attack him.

He countered her ice with fire. A flaming barrier sprang up around Rinoa, cutting off her retreat. Ellone stopped attacking soldiers and aimed a Water spell at the floor by Rinoa's feet; the giant globule of water she'd conjured burst and flooded the area - but did not douse the flame. Instead, a cloud of steam shot up from the edge of the ring of fire. Jets of the stuff flared everywhere. Quistis ducked behind the table to avoid it all. Across the room, she heard curses. Not everybody had escaped being burnt.

Rinoa apparently had avoided it; she was almost completely obscured by steam but spells still steadily came out of the fog, all aimed in the right direction. Then a gust of wind sprang up in the centre of the room and the air cleared as the steam was blown out of the cave system to dissipate in the open air. Quistis glanced over to the door. Fujin stood there, Raijin at her side protecting her. She wouldn't fight Seifer and she couldn't risk the soldiers' firepower but the demon she would and did attack. She let loose with another of her favourite air elemental spells. Asmodeus staggered. He could not and did not pay her any attention. He stayed focused on Rinoa instead.

The devil forced his way forward through the localised hurricane, stretching his arms out towards Rinoa. The sorceress retreated to the back of her blazing prison. Asmodeus roared again and brought his arm down, trying to crush Rinoa. She stood her ground and aimed a bolt of lightning into the devil's hand. He pulled back, and Ellone forced him further away with a golden rain of pure Holy power.

Quistis had a sudden thought. She glanced over at the door to the main part of the base. The stream of men coming through it had slowed to a trickle; those few moved away from the blazing doorway as soon as they could. There would never be a better moment. She tugged on Laguna's arm. "In a couple of seconds I'm going to put that fire out," she told him, pointing. "When I do, get through the door, go straight downstairs and find Squall."

"Why me?" he demanded.

"Because you're no help up here." As one they ducked under the edge of the sheet of flame that Asmodeus was now forcing outwards; when Quistis was sure she wasn't on fire she continued, "You're unarmed and you've got no combat magic stocked. We can't spare anyone else."

He scowled for a moment then nodded. "OK. Tell me when."

"Now."

She took her attention off the soldiers for a second and turned to the doorway. Letting the residual physical and emotional shock from her fight with Seifer overtake her, she cast Aqua Breath on the blazing supports. A waterfall appeared in mid-air, drenching the doorway, extinguishing the fire. Laguna took off like a championship sprinter, running through the door before anyone could stop him. "Be careful of the guards!" Selphie shouted after him. He paused in the doorway, waved his thanks to her and vanished. Quistis took a deep breath. Someone was at last doing what the team had come to do.

A gravity ray much like the one Asmodeus had used in the Palace bounced off Rinoa's shielding and crashed into the table, splitting it in two. Quistis pushed Ellone to the ground behind half the barricade, shielding the older woman with her body. There had been two objectives to this mission: to rescue Squall and to neutralise the demon. The former, hard as it was to achieve, looked more likely to succeed than the latter. Squall could be rescued any number of times but he still had to be got out of here.

***********************

Laguna dodged round the corner and held his breath as another squad of soldiers ran up the stairs and past him towards the entrance hall. He'd got three rooms away from the fight without much trouble but this wasn't going to go on working much longer. He needed another plan.

He tiptoed to the nearest door. It opened into an armoury. Things hardly got better. He selected one of his favourite makes of machine gun and picked up a few spare clips. _Now I just need a guy off on his own. Someone I can overpower easily. That or I need to find a storeroom full of uniforms, which isn't going to happen._

It didn't happen, but three minutes of cautious creeping led him to an isolated back exit to the barracks protected by a single guard, and to a seconds-long firefight that was closer to deliberate slaughter than any killing Laguna had committed before. Laguna had long since stopped thinking about his own safety. If he came under fire he would cope as best he could, every thought saved up for his missing son. But the minutes ticked by, and nobody came after him, and in the end he dressed himself in the dead man's uniform and ventured back towards the main area to look for Squall.

He remembered Fujin's description of the way to the cells, sure enough, but Selphie's warning still rang in his mind and he doubted his ability to convince the soldiers he was one of them as much as the advance team had. Especially when his best defence was the twenty-five year old dog tags round his neck. Desperation pushed him on. Seifer was out of the picture but sooner or later some lieutenant or other would hit on the idea of dragging Squall upstairs to act as a human shield. Laguna absolutely had to get to him before that happened.

He turned various different plans over and over in his head, looking for the right twist. _I'm a loyal Seiferite running away from the battle he's ordered almost all his people into. Why would I do that?_ The image of Seifer ordering a soldier downstairs, a soldier who would die before fulfilling his command, stuck in his mind. _Hmm...I think I know. I can get quite a bit of mileage out of that, no sweat. The others'll just have to cope with it. Hyne, why didn't we ask Raijin for some help with the window-dressing? I don't even know how they talk about Squall. They probably don't call him anything nice. Too late to go back now. I'll have to make the best of it._

He took a deep breath and ran down the stairs as fast as he dared. He wouldn't have a chance to become conspicuous by getting lost. The only things down here were here for security reasons: a computer system, a few high-powered weapons, the strongroom - and Squall. Down the corridor, turn to the right, next on the left - and he flung the guardroom door open. Seven of the eight soldiers inside had trained their weapons on the door, but they holstered them when they saw his uniform. "New orders," Laguna panted. "We need reinforcements upstairs."

The sergeant behind the desk, the only man who hadn't drawn when Laguna had run in, stood at once. "Two - no, one of you stay here. The rest of you, leave at once." The soldiers saluted and six of them dashed out immediately. Laguna didn't let himself relax. He could hear someone walking around behind the door that he knew led to the cells. Time for the second part of his plan.

_Pretty plan. Please work. You've got to work._ "Mind if I, well, check up through there while I'm down here?" he asked the sergeant, tentatively gesturing towards the cells while keeping some kind of respect in his stance.

The NCO smiled briefly, an expression that did not reach his eyes. "Wait one moment. There's two more just coming out. You got to take your turn." No 'What do you mean?', no 'Aren't you needed upstairs?', no nothing. Laguna fought down a stab of hatred and saluted. A couple of seconds later the door opened. A couple of privates came out, chatting amiably _like they haven't just beaten up my son - stop that, Laguna._ The sergeant ordered one of them upstairs to help Seifer. The other took up position by the door, gun at the ready. Laguna started working out the best way to get rid of him when the time came. He doubted he needed to be too merciful.

The spare soldier still hanging around the guardroom went through the door to the cells like there was nothing more natural to do than go attack a prisoner while there was a battle going on upstairs. Laguna followed. Without speaking the other soldier led the way past half a dozen empty lock-ups that probably served as the brig most of the time.

Both Irvine and Fujin had described the prison so well Laguna felt like he'd been there, like he'd already banged his head on that particularly low bit of ceiling, like he'd smelt the exact same sewage trace before. His step didn't slow as he went down a couple of stairs and round the corner, up to the end of the corridor and the door on the right. All the while he kept thinking. What if Squall was dying in there? What if he was too badly hurt to ever recover properly? What if, what if...

The other man keyed the door open and laughed humourlessly. "Lookit here. Little shit's taking a nap. He'll be hell's own job to wake; why're those guys so careless?" Without waiting for a reply or even looking at Laguna he vanished through the open door. Laguna bit his tongue and drew his gun. He reversed it in his hand, taking it by the barrel, and casually walked up behind the soldier, banking on the man not taking him for a threat. He raised the gun and brought it down on the back of the soldier's head. The man fell to the floor without making a sound.

Laguna kicked him aside and ran to where Squall was lying motionless on the floor in a pool of blood. "Please be alive, please," he whispered, desperately feeling at Squall's mouth for a breath. The faintest trickle of warm air leaked onto the back of his hand. He muttered a prayer of thanks, turned Squall over - and stopped thinking of anything coherent at all.

Tears of shock leapt to his eyes. Squall's eyes were screwed shut and his lips hung open in a soundless cry of pain. His face was covered in cuts and bruises; one of his eyes was swollen shut, and his lips were split. His filthy clothes were nothing more than rags that half-covered his battered, emaciated body. Even his hair was spiked with blood. Laguna could hardly recognise him.

"Oh, Squall." He pushed the remains of Squall's treasured leather jacket aside and stared at the gaping wounds on his torso; he opened the handcuffs and cradled the broken right wrist, covered in scabs where the restrains had dug into tender skin. He had burns running all the way up one arm and across his chest. It looked like someone had tied him up and cast combat spells on him from close range. Inflicting that on a helpless prisoner... "How could anyone do this to you?"

He caught his breath at what might have been a sound from behind him. He turned, gun raised, but no-one came to disturb him. _Point proven, though; we can't stay here._ Laguna looked back down at Squall. Even if he woke, he couldn't walk. _I've got to risk it._ He hit the soldier over the head again - even now, he wouldn't murder a man who couldn't fight back - and fastened his hands behind his back with Squall's handcuffs. Maybe it was spite to tighten the ratchets as far as they would go. It certainly couldn't be called justice.

Laguna pushed the thought aside and picked up Squall. He carried him outside, laid him down for a second to lock the cell up properly, then scooped him up again and tiptoed down the corridor. He'd never felt more vulnerable. He didn't have a hand free to draw his gun if some more of Squall's sadistic jailers came to taunt their caged lion. Thinking hard, Laguna poked his head round the corner. _Better than nothing. I can hide him. Hmm, at least they won't be expecting me back for a bit. Element of surprise, and all that crap._

He crept to a door just over halfway along the passage, shifted Squall to a one-armed grip - he was frighteningly light but still as awkward to carry as any grown man - and pushed the door all the way open. Like in all the cells he'd passed, a single fluorescent bulb burnt overhead, on a closed circuit if Laguna was any guess. He deposited Squall on the hard bed, touched the biggest purple-yellow bruise on his cheek for a second, then drew the machine gun again and sneaked back into the corridor. Bracing himself, he marched back to the guardroom.

"Done already?" the man by the door joked as Laguna entered.

"We can't wake him, and -" Laguna broke off and shot the soldier in the back.

The sergeant instantly dived behind his desk, drawing a gun, but Laguna was faster. He swung round, jumping backwards into the shadow of the doorway, firing as he went. The sergeant twitched and fell to the floor. Laguna stood frozen for a second, then ran to the door and took up position where the private had stood a few seconds before, his pulse racing. The half-expected sound of booted feet running towards him never came. Laguna counted to ten, then twenty, and before he got to thirty he gave up and went back to Squall.

He hadn't stirred. He was still lying there, that defenceless look plastered on a face that cried out for protection. "I didn't mean to leave you here for so long," Laguna told him, picking him up again and hoping he didn't have too many broken ribs. "That won't make anything better now, I know. I just had to say it." Each room traversed was another mile walked. He was the only man standing on this floor, but for how long? He had to get back upstairs and out to the Ragnarok. No matter how many people were in the way.

Laguna slipped through the guardroom, stuck his head out into the corridor, and when he was sure nobody was coming he crept out and headed for the stairwell. In the barracks earlier he'd seen several places they could hide, out of the way. For a few seconds he thought about the others, fighting Seifer and Asmodeus upstairs. They would have to live without his help. Because Squall might not. Lowering his ear to his son's head and reassuring himself with the sound of ragged breathing, Laguna started up the stairs to the next floor.

**************************

Seifer had whistled up some strong magic-users when he'd been putting his army together. Selphie had to throw her hands up to save her eyesight when a Thundaga aimed at Ellone missed its target, hit the flimsy barricade and exploded everywhere. Elle didn't look happy, but she kept on casting anyway. Selphie felt proud of her big sister, and then wished she didn't have to. She wished none of this had ever happened.

Crouched beside Quistis behind their barricade, Seifer swore and tried to slap the strands of electricity away from his face. He just gave himself more bruises. "Will you stop that?" Quistis snapped at him. She might be right. Seifer did have a habit of swearing loudly whenever something went even a little bit wrong. And Quisty was the one who'd been at the wrong end of Hyperion earlier. She had the right to be cross when he over-reacted, if anyone did.

The soldiers weren't much of a problem anymore. Most of them were staying behind their barricades, trying not to get Asmodeus interested in them. It wasn't like they knew the devil was on their side. Selphie thought that even if she'd known Asmodeus was an ally, she wouldn't have wanted to help him out. But there were still a few soldiers casting spells at the invading SeeDs. Zell, Kiros and Ward were trying to persuade them to stop. Selphie didn't envy them. What they were doing was very risky; Asmodeus kept almost stepping on them. He wasn't trying to attack them. He was concentrating on the person who kept hurting him the most. Rinoa.

Ellone took a break from throwing Holy rain over Asmodeus to look round the room. "Why's he taking so long?" she fretted.

"Laguna?" Quistis asked.

"Yeah. Shouldn't he have come back by now?"

Seifer wormed his way upright. "Lot of trouble, you guys went to, to get that crazy fuckwit downstairs to take a look round. Couldn't you have phoned to check you'd picked a good time?"

"If you haven't got anything useful to say, shut up," Quistis fired back, panting as she concentrated on a spell. "This is - hard enough -" and she closed her eyes. Magical barriers appeared in front of Elle, Selphie and Quistis, and Selphie felt rejuvenated. Quisty hadn't managed to stretch the Mighty Guard to cover Seifer, though.

He knew he'd been left out, and didn't look happy. "Yeah, well, I could say something useful. Like, I wonder where all my boys went."

"What?"

"There ain't so many in here anymore." Through the growing magical gloom that filled the room and telegraphed Rinoa's next attack, he pointed to the soldiers' barricades. He was right. Besides Raijin and Fujin, there weren't more than thirty people sheltering there anymore. As Selphie watched, another couple of men slunk through the door and ran for it.

Somewhere through there, Laguna was looking for Squall, or was helping him out of the prison. The team upstairs should have been keeping the soldiers busy and out of his way. Instead they'd scared them off.

The cavern shook with repeated impacts as Rinoa finally launched the over-strength Meteor attack at Asmodeus. Selphie's attention got distracted from the growing disaster downstairs: Quistis's didn't. "Fuck," she breathed, still staring at the door. 

"Language, Instructor," Seifer sneered. She hit him. Seifer touched his cheek and said, "Hypocrite."

"I'll have you know I almost never say those things."

"Why now, eh? Worried about little Squallie?"

Still glaring at each other, they simultaneously ducked away from Asmodeus's latest Blizzard spell's shrapnel. "How can you even say that? It was you -"

"Me nothing! I didn't mean to do that shit to him." Seifer settled back against the barricade, looking hurt. "Come on. I had that thing," and he pointed at Asmodeus, "screwing round inside my head for most of a year. I didn't want to be here. This isn't my fault. You should be pulling me out of this, not _him_. I'm the freaking victim!" Quistis hit him again.

Selphie stared at the door. Maybe if she could set it on fire again...but that wouldn't work. The soldiers had already gone downstairs. If they hadn't found out Laguna was trying to rescue Squall yet, they soon would. Then they would go looking for them both. Squall wouldn't be able to fight them. Laguna was on his own down there. Worse - he was worrying about his son down there.

Maybe he would come up that stair in the next couple of minutes and they could all go home. Or maybe he would find the back stair Selphie, Zell and Rinoa had tried to use earlier. But then he would have to come back in to tell them he'd got out, unless he phoned. If cellphones worked in the middle of a magical battle. Selphie shook her head, feeling cross. Maybe the plan would work. But the little finishing details weren't working, not yet. If ever.

Asmodeus tried to stamp on Rinoa again, bounced off her shield, and lost his temper. He stretched out his hands - they were more like paws really, covered in hair and with bent, curly claws - and shouted a word Selphie didn't understand. Ultima energy, green-black and deadly, shot out from his fingertips, rays firing all over the room like he didn't care who he hurt.

Selphie cowered behind the barricade; two rays hit it and it fell to bits. She hid behind Seifer at once. He tried to push her away when one of his men tried to shoot at the little group. She clung onto him, cast Rapture on the soldier who'd annoyed her, and, as he was dragged out of the battle by something he couldn't see, stared over at the door. Asmodeus had reminded her of something she wished he hadn't. They'd come here to get Squall. Much use that would be if they all got killed by the devil prince before they could get him away.

************************

Laguna pushed the door to the barracks closed and leant heavily against it. That had been far too close. He'd come within a second of being seen by a squad he could now hear heading downstairs - just about the last place he wanted anyone to go. He needed somewhere to hide.

Squall hadn't stirred. Laguna told himself that that was nothing surprising. Still, he had to get healed as soon as possible. Even that wouldn't be easy. Laguna looked down at him again; if Irvine had been underfed when he'd reappeared, Squall looked like a famine victim. Generalised healing magic wouldn't work on someone so weakened by hunger, without considering the number of broken bones that had to be set before casting could start despite the fact that even a Curaga would only just start to knit the fractures back together. _Healing potions, though, applied directly to the bad bits? That's an idea. I wonder if there's anything stocked round here. Surely these guys have first-aid kits. Maybe in a bathroom. If I can find one. Wait up: somewhere round here there's a back way out. I can take him back to the Ragnarok that way. Plenty of medical supplies there._

Laguna padded silently through the barracks, running over the route in his mind. He was concentrating so hard he almost didn't hear the enemy soldiers before he ran into them. Two of them, stationed at the top of the stairs he wanted to use, talking like they didn't even know there was anything wrong. The second Laguna noticed them he turned tail and ran. No-one followed.

_My lucky star's still shining. Now what? I'll have to wait for them to move, or wait for the others to beat Asmodeus. How the hell am I supposed to know when that happens, if I'm holed up in a side room round here?_

I may as well do something useful while I'm waiting. Like, finding that first-aid kit. He cut through one of the dormitories. After a couple of minutes he found what he was looking for, a washroom with a halfway good stock of medical supplies. He even managed to get Squall set up relatively comfortably on a heap of towels before starting to clean his wounds. He tried to concentrate on the bits that looked worst. That, admittedly, covered just about everywhere, and he easily got sidetracked.

It didn't help that Squall's clothes were stuck to him. In some places washing away the dried blood solved the problem: in others the fabric had adhered to scorched skin and there was nothing Laguna would let himself do to get it off. Sure enough, the burns needed attention, but they didn't need him making things worse. He worked steadily, keeping an ear open for the faint sounds of battle that drifted down from the entrance hall. He would even have half a chance of hearing if the soldiers who had blocked his path to the Ragnarok came through the barracks on their way upstairs.

If he could hear them, they might hear him, and Laguna tried his hardest not to swear out loud each time he uncovered another fracture. It got difficult when he finally got Squall's right wrist into a state where he could think about splinting it. He'd known about the open fracture; what he couldn't have known was that it hadn't had so much as a drop of antiseptic poured over it. The wound was infected and looking nasty. _He'll be lucky if he uses this properly again. Why him?_

Squall's breathing deepened, just a little, and started to lose the regularity of sleep. He had to wake up now, didn't he? Laguna dabbed surgical spirit onto Squall's wrist, and he moved a little in his sleep, screwing his face up in an endearingly childlike way. "Please be quiet," Laguna whispered to him, half-turning round when he heard someone walking through the barracks. He decided he had to risk locking them in. If Squall did make a noise when he woke up, a bolted door would at least buy them a few seconds. When the footsteps had died away, he sneaked over to the door, locked it and pulled a table underneath the handle. _That should hold them for a little while, at least._ Laguna turned round - and stopped in his tracks. Squall's good eye had fluttered open. He was staring hazily at Laguna like he couldn't focus properly.

"Squall?" Laguna said softly, going to his son's side and kneeling down. Squall flinched away like he was afraid. "It's OK. It's me."

Recognition slowly passed over Squall's face. "Laguna?" he whispered, his voice almost too faint to hear. "You're real?"

Laguna smiled, though it was the last thing he felt like doing. "Of course. What, you think I'm a ghost?"

Squall tried to push himself upright. Laguna held him down. Squall wrinkled his nose again. "Hurts," he muttered.

"I know. There's anaesthetic on the Ragnarok. I can't get you out until the soldiers move out of the way. The others are trying to create a diversion but it's not working properly."

"Hurts too much," Squall whispered like he hadn't heard or hadn't understood. "I - I can't -"

"Hush," Laguna soothed, laying a gentle hand on his son's shoulder. Squall stared at it like he didn't know why it was there. _Still doesn't want me anywhere near him_, and Laguna let him go. Squall's good eye followed the retreating hand, some expression on his face Laguna couldn't identify.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you come?"

"To get you out, of course."

"You - you shouldn't - I..." Squall closed his eye. "You've got to leave me. You - you won't get out - I'll slow you down."

"Stop that. I came to get you, I'm not leaving without you."

"Shouldn't have bothered..." Squall turned his head away, using up all the strength he had left. His voice, which had been strengthening as he got used to talking, dropped back to the strangled whisper he'd used at first. "I - I'm not worth it." His voice trailed off. He was starting to cry.

Laguna stared at him. He'd believed the lies? "But you are, Squall."

"He said I'm not."

"Seifer?" Now wasn't the time to go into the details of Seifer's possession; when Squall nodded, Laguna added, "He was lying. Trying to make you feel bad about yourself. You want to let him win? Do you, Squall?"

"He already won," Squall sniffled. "I tried - I told him - I'm sorry." He twitched the fingers of his left hand, restless, almost inconsolable. "She said - she said he lied - I was happy again - then she went away. She saw he was telling the truth." He gulped. "Just go away - or you'll see it too..."

"See what?" Laguna said, controlling his anger, trying to sound gentle. "I know what he told you."

"So why are you still here?" Squall demanded, his voice rising. Laguna glanced at the door and crossed his fingers. _I've got to shut him up somehow._

"Because I know it's not true."

"She said that. She promised to stay. She promised..."

"Who promised?"

"Mother."

_Holy Hyne, he's hallucinating._ "Squall, if she promised to stay, she must still be here somewhere," Laguna said carefully. "Your mother - she doesn't lie."

"No, she went. First it wasn't hurting. Then she went, and I felt it again, and I couldn't stand it anymore," and he started sobbing again. "I want her back," he managed to choke out.

_This is worse than I thought. The amount of endorphins it would take to blot this out... I've got to tell him something. Something he'll listen to. OK, he thinks she was really here. So I go on from that..._ "So something must have made her go away. Something must have pushed her out because she told you the truth and not everyone wants you to know the truth." Laguna stroked Squall's messy hair back from his forehead. "The truth is you're a good person, Squall. If Seifer could stop you knowing that he would - don't you think? Don't you think he would want you to think she didn't love you? Because she does. I know it." _And I hope some of this sinks in to whatever kind of a mind he's got left. If he seriously thinks he's been talking to a woman who's been dead for most of twenty years, we have a problem._

Squall stiffened, just a little, then leant into Laguna's gentle hand. "I - look, it isn't true," he whispered. "You know I make mistakes. People die when I'm too stupid to see they're going to. I - I'll never get it right, I -"

"Hush," Laguna ordered him, slipping an arm underneath his head, turning him round so he had to look at Laguna. "You're not feeling well. You're not thinking straight." 

"See? I'm screwing up again." The blackened eye was open just a crack, like Squall was trying to look at him properly. "You should go - I'm not - I'm not worth this. I know you don't like me. I'm not worth liking." He looked almost - ashamed? "I'm sorry I was horrid to you. I'll die soon, then you won't have to pretend."

"I do like you. Really. Squall, I wouldn't be here if I didn't. Lots of people like you. Great Hyne, there's seven people fighting a running battle with a demon upstairs because they want you back. The whole of Garden would have come here to get you out if we'd asked." A touch of incredulity flashed over Squall's face. "I like you," Laguna repeated, lifting him into a more secure embrace. "I love you."

"You do?" Squall whispered in a child's voice.

"Yes." And when he started crying again Laguna picked him up and held him close, in just the same way that he'd held a far younger Ellone before Squall's birth, for so long that it started feeling right, that he started realising what the both of them might have missed. "I love you," he whispered once more down Squall's ear. "You're more precious to me than I could ever tell you. Everything's going to be OK now. Just trust me. Please."

* * *

**(to be continued...)**


	10. Chapter Ten: The Fated Children

**A.N.** _Almost...done..._ This is the last chapter proper; after this there's just an epilogue, then it's all over (*sob*...) 

**DISCLAIMER:** Final Fantasy VIII belongs to Squaresoft. This fanfic is a not-for-profit enterprise (...?)

* * *

CHAPTER TEN - THE FATED CHILDREN

Laguna's words still echoed through Squall's head. It was a friendly echo, not like the memory of the shouted insults he'd hated so much. He couldn't stop crying, but he didn't know why this time. Maybe people cried when they were too full of emotions, not just when the emotions involved were bad. He felt safe. He couldn't always be self-reliant. It was nice to know there was someone who understood he needed a shield.

And he'd always been there. But Squall had been too self-absorbed to notice. He wanted to apologise again but he knew Laguna would just refuse to listen; instead he tried to nestle into Laguna's arms, to hide there. He felt the older man smile and change his grip so Squall felt more secluded, more secure. No matter that he hurt to be touched. Breathing hurt, and he went on doing that, didn't he?

Whatever Laguna might tell him he was sure he would die from his injuries. He knew the limits of healing magic. He'd stopped counting bruises after the first two or three days, but he could tell he was so badly hurt conventional medicine might not be able to save him. He just hoped Laguna would stay with him.

A rustle, a touch on his mind. Then, _(Squall? Still there?)_

(You're back?)

(Yes.) Annoyance, not directed at him, then the caress that eased his pain and let him relax in Laguna's embrace. _(I'm so sorry. Something drove me off.)_

(He said that might have happened.)

Amusement, again not aimed at him but at Raine's former husband. _(From what you remember, and as much as I want to break down the walls between you by any means possible, he didn't know what he was talking about. He got the right reason by accident. Still, the thought was there.)_

(Mmm, whatever. Thank you for stopping it hurting again.)

(Least I can do.)

"You OK?" Laguna asked.

"Sure," he mumbled, opening his one eye. It felt like he was winking at Laguna. "Mother came back. I'm fine now."

He didn't look happy as Squall thought he should. Instead he looked upset, worried. About Raine? About him? "I'm going to take you home," he said, tucking both arms round Squall to lift him.

"I can walk," he protested. "She's here so it doesn't hurt. And I had to walk before, when it did hurt, so I can do it now."

_(Don't be daft,)_ Raine snorted.

"You don't need to," Laguna said at precisely the same time. "I guess someone made you, earlier. I'm not going to make you now."

"Can you two stop that? You're confusing me." Maybe this was better. Walking wouldn't hurt but it would take strength he didn't have.

"Stop what?" Laguna asked, putting him back down and looking like he knew he'd forgotten something.

"Talking at the same time. I can't hear you both properly."

Laguna had been manoeuvring the table away from the door. Now he looked back at Squall. "I'll try not to butt in," he said, looking concerned again. Concerned and sceptical, Squall realised. "If you ask her to try as well -"

"She can hear you, you know."

"OK; fine. I'll remember that." The worry lines on Laguna's forehead were deepening. Why?

"What's wrong?" Squall asked, confused.

"Nothing's wrong, I just think I need to get you back to the ship quickly, that's all."

_(Just tell him I don't mind about Ellone, Squall,)_ Raine said, letting her amusement wash over him again.

_(What? Why?)_

(Just do it, please.)

(If you like.) "She says she doesn't mind about Elle. What does she mean? She won't tell me."

Laguna went red, then white. "What's the matter?" Squall said, directing the question to both of his parents, the seen and the unseen.

"How did you know about that?" he whispered.

"I -"

Someone rapped on the door. "Open up in there!"

They stared at each other, all questions forgotten. Laguna glanced at the door, then picked Squall up and deposited him behind the door, laying a finger on his lips. He straightened and drew his machine gun. Squall huddled against the wall, hugging his broken wrist to his chest. _I had to get him into this, didn't I?_

The person outside banged on the door again. "We know you're in there, Loire. Come out and we won't kill you."

Laguna closed his eyes for a second. Squall knew what he was thinking. As long as the men outside hadn't been sure where they were, they had a chance. They'd lost that chance now. Then he caught his breath as Laguna stuck his hand in his jacket pocket and pulled out a grenade. "Kill us, and all of you die too," Laguna shouted through the crack in the door. "You want a few bombs dropping on this place?"

"You can do better than that. You've got ten seconds before we blow this door to bits. Ten, nine -"

"Stop it. We'll surrender."

"Oh, good. So unlock the door, punk. Or we'll treat your dear little boy to a round of Russian Roulette just as soon as you give up."

"You don't want to do that."

"Yeah, right. Like we need two hostages."

"You do. Like, you can't kill him because, if you do, I'll make so much hell for you you'll have to kill me. And you can't kill me because unless he sees a doctor, he'll die anyway. Either way you'll have no hostages when you've finished." He was starting to wriggle the pin out of the grenade.

"OK. We won't kill either of you. Happy?"

"You going to hurt him any more?"

"Guess not," and Squall couldn't help flinching when he heard the snigger.

"Fine, I'm opening the door and I'm going to throw my weapon out," and Laguna shot back the bolt, threw the grenade through the three-inch gap, slammed the door again and threw himself over Squall, shielding him. Half a second later the grenade exploded. The door blew off its hinges. Splinters and timbers flew everywhere. Someone outside screamed once, then there was only the sound of the bomb's shockwave.

The second the noise had died away Laguna straightened up, brushing bits of shrapnel out of his hair. "We've got to get out of here. I hope I don't hurt you any by doing this." Before Squall had time to ask what he meant, Laguna pulled him up into a fireman's lift, picked up his gun and hurried out of the washroom.

"Put me down," Squall hissed. "I can walk, I tell you."

"Slowly, maybe. This is quicker. We can't waste time stroking your ego."

"It's not about my ego." But he was feeling too hot, and his head was starting to ache in a way Raine couldn't remedy. Delirium was catching up with him again and he didn't have a hope of winning an argument. He let his head flop against Laguna's back and tried to relax. It didn't work until Raine held his hand again.

Raine. Laguna. Something wasn't right. _(Does he think I'm pretending you're here?)_ he asked her.

_(Kind of. He thinks you're so ill you're imagining it. I think he's getting suspicious, though.)_

(What did you mean about Sis?)

(Never mind that now. Go to sleep, Squall.)

"Can't," he mumbled. Laguna shushed him. Giving up on sleep, Squall slid into a kind of trance state where his body could not disturb his mind. Maybe it wasn't ideal. But he had to blot the world out somehow, until he could fall into the sleep from which he would not wake.

*********************

The squad of renegades came running up from the lower level to the barracks, looking for the source of the explosion. For a second, Laguna heard the men pause and stare at the wreckage. _ Go take a look, please..._and they moved off along the passage towards the washroom, heading away from the back staircase. The second he thought they wouldn't be able to hear him anymore, Laguna ran for the stairs to the parking lot.

Squall had gone all quiet but he almost certainly wasn't asleep. There was no way he could be comfortable, slung over Laguna's shoulder like he was. Still, he wasn't complaining. Right now he probably would if he had to. 

Laguna tried to stop himself thinking about the way Squall had mentioned Elle like he knew what had happened. He didn't really manage it. Not good, when it was getting distracting. _Magic, sorcery, devils, Hell - what's to say ghosts don't come in somewhere? Hyne, I don't know. I kind of hope it isn't true. Hey, sorry, Raine, I cheated on you with our adopted daughter. I hope you don't mind. After all, I did kind of walk out on you twenty years ago. I would have thought you'd have stopped expecting me to come back._

No, it can't be real. But he said she said she didn't mind - what am I supposed to think? About anything?

Movement, ahead and above. Laguna stopped thinking and clutched the gun. He inched forwards until he could see the shadows of the men blocking the stair. Two of them, asking each other if they should go and find out what was happening. Laguna set Squall down and knelt in the shadows, peering up till he could see feet, legs, bodies turned neatly away from the lower corridor. He aimed and fired. Neither soldier had time to scream.

Someone was coming after them. Squall had his eyes half-open and was looking around hazily, like he knew there was danger but couldn't remember what to do about it. Laguna grabbed him and hustled him up the stairs, half-carrying him and half letting him limp because there was no time to lift him without impaling him on his broken ribs. Once they were away in the cool seclusion of the upper passage, Laguna took time to stop and try and help him. But there was so little he could do to help. Squall's life was slipping away in every little blood trail and every shock-delivering injury. Laguna couldn't stop the trauma by wishing it away.

"I'm OK," Squall mumbled, dozing on Laguna's shoulder. "Just - bit sleepy."

"No kidding." Less than fifty feet behind them, somebody was exclaiming at the sight of the guards' bodies in the stairwell. Laguna told his heartbeat to slow down and started jogging towards the car park again. Too bad he couldn't remember the way from the next junction. Right? Left?

Thank Hyne; when he looked along the right-hand branch he could see what looked like the car Raijin and Fujin had used earlier, just sitting there like it wanted to be stolen. He picked up the pace a little, forcing himself not to stop when Squall muttered a complaint. _Almost there. Almost..._ and he ran the last few yards, praying they all shared car keys round here. The latches were up like the car was unlocked: it was. Laguna slipped Squall into the passenger seat and climbed over him to the driver's side. The key was in the ignition, almost like Fujin had figured someone would need a quick getaway.

He couldn't hear the heavy footsteps but he knew beyond all doubt that they'd been seen. Laguna wrenched the key round and floored the accelerator. He regretted it when Squall almost flew out of his seat. "Hold on," he said, a little late.

"With what? To what?"

"OK, I take the point." The sparkle had already faded from Squall's blank eyes. He was falling asleep again - and it was a kind of sleep Laguna feared. "It won't be long," he said, trying to get Squall interested in something, anything. "The Ragnarok's waiting outside. We're going to make it."

**********************

Rinoa stood there, locked in place as she abandoned casting and fought Asmodeus mind-to-mind. Seifer would have considered telling his men to lay off her if any had been attacking her. As it was, they were restricting their fire to the others. They couldn't know what Asmodeus was, only that Rinoa was keeping him occupied.

And maybe doing more than that. Black liquid was seeping from the devil's more recent wounds. Seifer was as sure as he could be that the spells Asmodeus was using - not stocked magic such as humans could control but shaped personal energies - were steadily growing weaker. Already he didn't have the strength to retaliate when one of the other four women threw something at him. Against all probability, Rinoa was winning.

A finger of thought touched the inside of his head. The first time he hadn't known what that meant; last time it hadn't mattered. The devil was way too strong for a normal man to push him off. _(Let go,)_ he ordered anyway, fighting Asmodeus off as well as he could, using all the techniques that came naturally to a sorceress's Knight. _(No way are you taking me over again.)_

Frustration. Anger. And suddenly Seifer realised it wasn't bravado talking, whatever he'd thought. Asmodeus was more badly hurt than even he had supposed. He was weak enough for Seifer to succeed in keeping him out.

__

(If you want to do that, human, you can. I would not, were I in your place.)

Seifer blinked. Throughout their antagonistic relationship, Asmodeus had never spoken to him. _(With all the trouble you've been, why wouldn't I want to kick you out?)_

(You do not consider what I gave you. What I can give you if you let me back.)

(All you've given me is a right mess to sort out when you're gone. If I don't get killed for this I'll have my ex-girlfriend the sorceress to thank for it. I'll never be able to breathe without her say-so again.)

(I see your thoughts. You want her back. If you help me I can give her to you.)

(Huh?)

Amusement, almost laughter. _(I could run at any time and find a host in the back streets of a city. But if I picked at random it would be years before I healed. I first chose you not because you had influence, but because you have a mind that welcomes me as few others do. You would save me, and I would help you to whatever you want.)_

Seifer smirked inwardly. _(The fun bit is you think you're lying but I know you're telling the truth. You're so weak I could keep you from taking control of me if I let you in now. You come into this house on my terms. If you don't do what I want I'll throw you out. By the time you're stronger I'd have learnt more control so I'd still be able to do it.)_

Rage, then more pain as Seifer distracted him and Rinoa got in a hit. _(For that I will not help you!)_

(Fine by me. I'll sit here and watch you die.)

Asmodeus huffed, annoyed with Seifer. _(You must help me as I ask. Always.)_ He sounded like a disgruntled child.

_(There's this little human skill you need to learn. Compromise.)_

(And would you compromise on your demands to save your freedom?)

Seifer blinked. He stared round the cavern, at the remains of an army that thought it was his. He suddenly realised how much he'd done under the devil's control, and how much he'd succeeded in doing before Asmodeus set his sights too high. And whatever happened now, he knew there were quite a lot of things he did not regret having been forced to do. So when it was about to end...

_(I need an answer!)_

*******************

Nothing existed but the magic and the other casters who played the game. Rinoa had long since stopped trying to resist the call of the spells she effortlessly conjured on the demon prince who sought not only her death but the death of humankind. She had transcended her material form, and her spirit acted to mould each spell like it belonged in the ethereal realm. This was sorcery. This was power.

She reinforced the barriers around herself and entered Asmodeus's mind without a thought, taking the fight to its rightful place, the centre of the darkness. As her friends struck at the devil's body, she struck at his corrupted soul. Again and again she conjured bolts of pure energy, threw them at his unprotected mind, at the source of his power. For he, like a sorceress, produced his magic from nothing. When she hit his body she made it hard for him to concentrate. When she hit his mind she disarmed him.

He retaliated. White-hot touches brushed across her mind, cutting through her defences like they didn't exist. She ignored the pain and pushed back at him, forced his mind back into his own head, set off a shockwave blast that ran through him and stunned him for a few seconds. But she was getting desperate. He knew how to hurt her, unlike any other on the plane. She had to stop him before he disarmed her too.

She gathered together the last of her powers and blasted her way through Asmodeus's last line of defence to the centre of his being. Her anger spurred her on and he was helpless before it. For Galbadia and for Esthar, for Squall and for herself, she clutched his mind and tore it apart. And she knew it was too much for him to bear. Caught up in him, she shook when he shuddered, and she felt the beginning of his final collapse. The end was near.

She pulled herself out of his mind. Hovering in midair, she did nothing but watch as Asmodeus screamed, and clutched his head, and ripped himself in half. His body melted. She couldn't physically see his spirit flee, but she could feel it leaving his body, drawn inexorably into the sky, away from her world forever. The cavern shook with the aftershock of the devil's departure. Half the lights went out, and somewhere downstairs part of the cave system collapsed. Rinoa flung her mindshield out to stabilise the roof...

And then the noises and the collapse stopped. Rinoa hung there, tense and afraid, waiting for a final disaster to overcome them. But nothing happened. The world was still. It was all over.

Rinoa dragged herself back to her body and immediately fell over. She'd overdone it and she hadn't even realised. She lay there for a few seconds, letting the silence wash over her and calm her, and then as she regained some measure of self-control she slowly ran her mind down her body, checking herself for injuries. She'd taken some magical hits that had left her with a few burns. That was it. She sat up, hand over her mouth to stop herself laughing hysterically. _Calm down, you silly woman._ Rinoa tensed over and reached further into herself. If she'd suffered a backlash that had made her lose the baby...

She hadn't. She could feel the child's heart beating. Silently, she thanked the gods who had to be listening. She'd won the battle. She could take Squall home and be with him and their child forever.

Rinoa shook herself and looked around. Quistis was helping Elle to her feet. Seifer was struggling upright, staring round the cave. His appraising gaze finally fixed on Selphie. "You know how to use that?" he asked, pointing to her gun.

"Didn't you see me using it earlier?" she retorted.

"That's why I'm asking." He looked over to the soldiers' barricade, ignoring Selphie's squeaks of annoyance. "Get out of here, quickly, before you get attacked. If anyone tries to stop you threaten to shoot me. It might give you enough time to run for it."

"What are you going to do?"

"Stay here and sort the mess out." He looked surprised she'd asked. "These guys haven't done anything that I didn't tell them to do for a year. Don't tell me the Estharian army's not going to come over the rise in a couple of hours. That won't be anyone's fault but mine, will it?" He directed the question not only to Selphie but to Kiros, Quistis, Ward, Zell; the people who had finally defeated him. "I've got to try and persuade them to give up so they don't all get killed."

Quistis shook her head, smiling slightly. "Getting all noble on us, Seifer?"

"Don't know; don't care. Just go."

Ward shook his head, gesturing to the door. "We're staying to look for Squall and Laguna," Zell told Seifer. Kiros nodded silently.

Seifer looked unconvinced. "They must have got out the back way. They would have been found by now if they've stayed down there, and I don't see anyone pushing them up here at gunpoint. I'd check they aren't at the ship already before you go down."

"I'll do that," Ellone assured him, leaning on Quistis's shoulder and closing her eyes. After a moment she opened them again, looking relieved. "They're out."

Footsteps were approaching from the staircase. Seifer jerked his head at the others; Rinoa for one didn't need telling. She caught Selphie's arm and hurried her out.

To her heightened senses, expressions spoke as loudly as shouts, and thoughts were audible whispers. And Ellone was muttering about her fear for her stepbrother. She was worried by something she'd sensed when she'd touched Laguna's mind. If Laguna feared for Squall... Rinoa picked up the pace, running back towards the ship with Selphie on her heels. Asmodeus was gone and there was nothing to block the link between her and Squall anymore. He was calling to her. He needed her. She couldn't help but answer the call.

********************

The army car came flying through the gates like Asmodeus himself was chasing it. Irvine took one look at the uniformed figure in the driver's seat and hefted the sniper rifle. _Yeah - I'll blow out the tyres first. The windscreen'll be bulletproof. Easy shot, now..._ and he squeezed the trigger. The car skidded out of control. Its back end jack-knifed into the Ragnarok's front landing skid. Irvine lined up the rifle again - and pulled back as quickly as he could at the sight of the man sliding out of the front seat. "Oh, shit, man, I'm sorry -"

"Shut up and cover the gate." Laguna half-dived back into the car, coming up with Squall in his arms. "We're being followed." He half-ran up the ramp, his eyes fixed on the young man he held almost possessively. He was saying something under his breath that Irvine couldn't catch. Was Squall moving, just a little? Irvine forced his attention back to the van now following Laguna out of the base. "It's them," Laguna said unnecessarily, looking back over his shoulder. Irvine closed the world in around himself and fired once, twice, three times. Like Laguna's stolen car, the van skidded out of control. In fact, it slid all the way into the renegades' dead sniper's foxhole and stuck there.

Two men leapt out of each side door, machine guns blazing. "Bloody bad shots," Irvine muttered, and took down three of the four before they had time to blink. The last one dived behind the van, which now had more men piling out the back hatch. Now they were being more cautious. That suited Irvine fine, because it meant none of them had the angle to hit him. And he had a professional's patience.

_One more. Yes, I got you, so fall down. Now, you, come just a little further out; try and hit me. I'm here, I'm waiting. Got you._ He released the trigger. Now there were only three soldiers hiding behind the van, only three streams of bullets heading towards him. Exhale, press down, squeeze. Now there were only two.

Laguna slowed down as he got to the top of the ramp, looking back as soon as he'd got Squall under cover. Irvine stayed focused on the soldiers shooting at him. He fired again. One more man went down, leaving one standing.

Irvine trained the sight onto the corner of the van. A gun barrel was sticking round the corner, spitting out bullets that came nowhere near him. Maybe the soldier knew he was wasting ammunition. The gun stopped firing and moved, creeping towards Irvine. The SeeD waited. One more inch...and the hand on the trigger moved into Irvine's sight. One shot, and the machine gun fell to the ground. The soldier screamed and stumbled out into the open. Irvine fired again. At that range he couldn't miss.

As the last man went down Irvine finally turned round. He closed his eyes for a second, not wanting to believe what he saw. Squall was sagging against Laguna, blinking nervously like he didn't know where he was or what was happening, his strength and pride gone. Laguna was trying to soothe his son, and was failing badly. Irvine dropped the rifle and went to them, got an arm round Squall and, working with Laguna, lifted him as gently as possible. "You still with us, Squall?" Irvine asked, touching the elder boy's face with his free hand.

"Y - yeah..."

"That's good. Real good. Down here we've got first aid stuff, we'll fix you up, no sweat." Irvine knew he was babbling but he didn't give one anymore. Squall, Irvine's commander, who had run his life for two years, was hanging limp between two other men, unable to move, his feet weakly scraping the deck like he was trying to walk on reflex. It was something from a childhood nightmare. Irvine tightened his hold on Squall as he and Laguna hurried him to the medical room. He couldn't, wouldn't, lose him now.

Irvine forgot his remaining injuries as he helped Laguna lift Squall onto the bunk. Squall moaned, staring up at them with wide, unfocused eyes. "Does it hurt?" Laguna asked softly. Squall nodded. "Just relax," he told him, carrying the canister of anaesthetic gas to Squall's side and hooking the mask round his head. "Deep breaths, now, then you'll feel better. It's not knockout gas, but don't be surprised if you go off on us for a while."

Squall's eyes drifted shut, and Irvine moved in to support him as he went completely limp. He wasn't unconscious. His left hand was moving like he wanted something to hold. Laguna tucked Irvine's fingers round Squall's and went over to the shelves, coming back with a pair of latex gloves, a box of swabs and a basin of water. Irvine shivered.

"Need a hand?" he asked, not sure what he wanted Laguna to say.

"I could do with six, but you'll have to guard the door till the others get back." Laguna scowled. "Just give me a knife and a box full of Hi-Potions, will you?"

"Right on." Irvine lowered Squall to the mattress and let Laguna take his place. The President of Esthar was clucking over Squall like a mother chocobo. The SeeD Commander didn't complain. Irvine shook his head; Squall was silent half the time anyway, but this wasn't his usual speaking silence, it was an empty one. Almost a dead one. Irvine pushed himself away from that word.

"Shout for me if you can't manage," he said, backing out of the room. Damn his shaking hands. Damn everything. He was a professional murderer, for Hyne's sake! He shouldn't be all cut up because one of his best friends was a bit messed up!

Except that he knew why Squall's remaining clothes were a uniform shade of dark brown. Except that he knew how Squall had got his injuries. When he closed his eyes he couldn't help picturing what his oh-so-frail friend must have gone through. And he had enough experience that the images were detailed. They'd lived a lifetime in the past fortnight. He couldn't, wouldn't forget that.

Irvine ground his teeth as he ran up to the entryway and lay back down with the sniper rifle. If Seifer were in front of him now he wouldn't hesitate to waste a lot of bullets making sure he died very slowly. Whether or not he'd meant to do what he'd done.

********************

Rinoa tried to catch up with Selphie and Kiros as the team ran back to the Ragnarok. She wanted to be there first. She wanted to hold Squall again before anyone else got to touch him. She knew she was being perverse but she couldn't help it. Every step drummed her need of him through her head.

Kiros stopped at the top of the ramp, bending down like he was talking to someone lying prone on the floor. Selphie ran past him, skidded to a stop when someone shouted at her to think for a change, switched direction and headed for the bridge rather than the medical room. Rinoa finally got inside the Ragnarok and realised that the person both Selphie and Kiros had been talking to was Irvine. He was picking himself up from his position on the floor, busily packing up his rifle. He seemed to be avoiding Rinoa's eyes. "What is it?" she asked in trepidation. "Irvine? Is Squall -"

"Just go through, Rinoa," he said, his voice tight. "It's bad. I don't -" He broke off.

"He's not going to die."

She meant it. With every breath in her, she meant it. If there was a single thing she could do to save him, she would do it, no matter the personal cost. He deserved to live. To recover. To go home to his friends and his family. Irvine looked at her, sadness in his expression. For Squall? For her? She shook the thought off and ran towards Squall's room.

Kiros was there, standing in the corridor like he was waiting for her. He looked grim and she could sense compressed anger radiating off him. She tried to open the door; he caught her wrist before she could do anything. "Aren't you going to let me in?"

"Not yet."

"Why?" She knew perfectly well what his so-called reason was; she immediately continued, "I've been in battles. I've seen injured people before. Hyne damn it, I've seen _him_ injured before. I can handle it."

His hand clamped round her wrist hard enough to leave bruises. "Can you?" he demanded. "Have you ever seen a man beaten virtually beyond recognition? Let alone your lover..." He broke off, closing his eyes. "He's asleep now. But he'll wake soon, and when he does he'll need all your love and all your support. If you pull back from him because of his injuries -"

"I'm not going to. Trust me. Please."

He caught her eyes again. "OK." He stepped back and let her push open the door.

She stopped in the doorway, just looking at him. He was lying on the bunk with a blanket pulled up to his waist, Laguna bending over him to clean his wounds. And, like Kiros's mind had screamed at her, he looked dreadful. The disfiguring bruises on his face weren't even the worst she could see, for Hyne's sake. And he was so frail she wanted to cry. But he was there. Alive. Safe. "Laguna?" she whispered.

He jumped, turned round like he hadn't heard her come in. He'd been crying a little, and he was moving like his leg was cramping under him. "Will you help me?" he asked her.

"Anything."

"He's too weak for us to use magic. We need to get him cleaned up and try to stabilise him with potions and elixirs, and splint the breaks. Can you..." He trailed off and held a moist cloth out to her.

He looked almost more vulnerable than his son did, so upset that Rinoa's heart would have melted had it been as hard as Ultimecia's. "Of course," she said in lieu of all the other things there were to say, taking the cloth and going to Squall's side. Where she belonged. She gently planted a kiss on the scar Seifer had given him two years ago, then started to wipe the dried blood from his face. He would wake to find her here. She was determined of that.

The Ragnarok was shuddering as Selphie took off. Other people were coming into the room, crowding around the bed, talking to each other. Rinoa paid them no heed. Instead, she sank her mind into Squall's. He felt - distant. Preoccupied, despite being unconscious. Almost like he was talking to someone. _Maybe he's dreaming. I don't know enough about this to tell._ She called to him. She felt his mind stir, felt him turn round and look for the invisible person calling to him. Gradually he inched towards consciousness.

She slid out of contact and started to clean a deep cut on his brow as she waited. She'd never been good at waiting and she needed to occupy herself with something in the meantime. She glanced at the person next to her; it was Quistis, blinking away tears as she treated a burn on Squall's chest. Rinoa laid a hand on the other woman's arm. "He'll be OK," she soothed as Quistis looked up, confusion on her face.

"How do you know?"

"I just do. Trust me."

She held Rinoa's eyes for a second. "I do."

Squall started making tiny waking-up noises that Rinoa was very used to but that no-one else could be expected to notice. She tucked her right hand into his left, squeezing his fingers. Did she imagine that the pressure was being returned? "Laguna, he's coming round," she said over her shoulder.

"Thank Hyne." Laguna was running a hand through his hair, looking distracted. He was thinking so loudly that Rinoa couldn't help 'hearing' him. He'd spent so long cataloguing Squall's injuries he couldn't tell which needed treating first. She gently directed his attention towards what she saw was a nastily broken ankle before bending over Squall again. The fussing and the people faded away once more. She couldn't think about anything but him anymore. He was everything to her.

The moment when his eyes opened and met hers was the most beautiful she'd ever experienced.

His eyes widened like he couldn't believe she was there. He mouthed her name and tried to reach out to her. "It's OK," she told him. "You're safe now. Don't try to do anything."

He hadn't got the message, dense as he sometimes was. "Rinoa?" he murmured, sounding and looking like a sleepy five-year-old. She blinked back tears. Until he'd spoken she'd been able to forget how weak and confused he was. She'd superimposed the image of the man he'd been ten days before upon him. He'd changed in almost every way.

But his love for her was as strong as ever. She could feel it, pouring into her, tempered with a kind of pain she couldn't comprehend. She knelt by his bedside and wrapped her arms round him, unable to stop herself from crying. Tears stood in his eyes too. She kissed them away, whispering his name over and over again.

"I - I love you," he said disjointedly. "You - still love me - right?"

He looked so anxious she couldn't help smiling. "I adore you. I missed you so much - I can't - Squall..." and she kissed him again, sobbing and laughing at the same time.

"Seifer said you wouldn't."

"He's jealous. He doesn't know what he's talking about." She realised he was smiling tentatively at her. Just like the child he was inside.

His tragedy: to be stuck at an emotional age of seven for most of his life. He'd never wanted to cling to people, but he'd never found a halfway point between possession and rejection. He had suffered so much from her absence because he hadn't been confident she would want him back again. As if...

"Do you need a painkiller?" she remembered to ask.

He shook his head. "It doesn't hurt." He wasn't trying to be brave, either; the frightening thing was that he was perfectly serious. "She stopped it hurting."

"Who?"

"My mother."

But his mother had died when he was born. "Squall -"

She felt Laguna's hand on her arm. "Don't," he hissed in her ear. He leant past her and touched Squall's shoulder. "You see if you can stay awake, OK?" he said, a little louder. Squall nodded, a tiny smile on his lips. Laguna grinned back, looking a little less worried, a little more relaxed. Rinoa had never seen her lover and his father act as friendly as this towards each other.

She touched Squall's mind with her own, determined to get to the bottom of his abnormal endorphin levels - and pulled back, surprised. There was another presence, one she couldn't get a handle on, floating round in his mind. It didn't feel like Asmodeus's, nor was it threatening at all. It was just - there.

He was in no state to be asked about it, and to be honest she was in no state to investigate it. Rinoa gently kissed Squall's swollen lips and wiped his face over again.

The room tilted sideways suddenly. Rinoa clutched at the wall to stay upright; Squall's eyes narrowed like he wanted to rake down the pilot; Quistis swore and headed for the door. The intercom cut in. "Sorry about that!" Selphie said sheepishly. "We kind of hit a little turbulence. But we're OK now, and we should be back home in an hour."

Home.

Quistis stopped in the doorway. "Selphie in the pilot's seat..." she said, sounding amused.

"Shouting 'whoo-hoo, we're flying'," added Zell, passing her and coming in.

"Where's Irvine?" Squall managed.

Zell laughed. "Around." His smile faded when he saw Squall's face. "You gonna be OK, baby?" Squall nodded, smiling fractionally. Zell squeezed Squall's hand, his own broad smile returning like he truly believed, and went to help Laguna with Squall's right ankle.

Rinoa sighed, catching sight of another deep gash in Squall's side. Magic might be dangerous in this situation but she was a _sorceress_, for Hyne's sake. There should be something she could do.

Curaga spells might kill him in this state because they used the patient's own vital energies to heal. Surely, as a sorceress, she could alter the spell enough to substitute her own life force for his? And when she could regulate precisely the strength and target area of her spells...it had to be worth a try.

There were no broken bones anywhere in his left arm. Rinoa focused on a relatively minor graze on the hand, concentrating hard, forcing the spell to localise in the same way that a directly applied healing potion would. When she was satisfied, she opened the faucet, and a tiny trickle of curative magic surrounded his hand. When the glow faded, the cut was nowhere to be seen. Rinoa immediately felt drained - just a little, but enough so that she was certain her plan had worked.

"What are you doing?" exclaimed Laguna.

"Don't worry. It's no risk to him. I powered the spell myself."

"If you're sure."

She was, but she was just as sure she couldn't do it often. It was altogether too exhausting. More like massive self-healing than anything else. And what if some of her life force was already being directed to the baby? She couldn't divert anything, if that were the case.

She suddenly smiled. "You still awake, Squall?"

"No," he pretended to grumble, eyes firmly closed.

"That's good," and she touched his mind along their link, calling him to her. He answered, a little sluggishly. Keeping a tight rein on her mirth, she guided his mind into her body. He had no idea what she was doing. _(Look,)_ she ordered, directing his attention down to her stomach.

His eyes snapped open and he stared at her, amazed. "You -" he started.

"Shush," she murmured, kissing him. "I love you."

He smiled into her mouth. She drew back to look at him. For just about the first time that she could remember, his wide blue eyes _glowed_ with happiness. "You're beautiful," he said simply.

"If you say so." She perched on the side of his bed and held his hand. He lifted his head a little and scowled at his own weakness. She knew exactly what he had in mind and dropped down to his level, supporting him and locking her lips to his.

"'Scuse me," Zell said after a few minutes. "Can you guys get a room?"

"My bed," Squall said indistinctly. "My room. Go away."

"That's told me," he muttered, sharing an exasperated glance with Laguna. The older man seemed more amused than anything. Amused and relieved. He'd been so afraid that Squall would never return. He, as much as any of the rest of them, deserved a happy ending.

Rinoa slid down next to Squall, curling up alongside him and enfolding him in her arms. "For I have found thee," she quoted in a whisper, "and I love thee, and I will not let thee go." He made a little sound of pleasure and relaxed. She closed her eyes, revelling in the closeness. Nothing could be wrong now. All was right with the world.

**********************

Seifer shook his head as he surveyed the wreckage. So much damage done in such a short time. And the worst part was he couldn't tell anyone why he wasn't upset. The soldiers all thought he had a master plan.

Footsteps, there, behind him. He turned to Fujin. "The trucks are packed. The men aren't happy but they understand why you're doing this." Or they thought they understood. Truth be told, Seifer himself didn't really understand. He didn't know if anyone could understand. It was enough that he felt driven to do it. They couldn't survive an assault by the force he knew was coming their way. But he wouldn't let them surrender.

That left one option: escape. But when he didn't know where they should go or what they should do when they got there - when he had no idea what to do, for the first time in his life that he could remember...

"Seifer?" Fujin snapped her fingers under his nose, something that might have earned her a set of trimmed nails under other circumstances. "You need to think about what we'll do next."

"Hmm." Seifer tried to stop himself brooding. Something in his mind turned over, threatened to rebel against him. _(Will you stop that?)_ he fired at Asmodeus. The devil growled angrily, as he had been doing almost constantly since he realised the full extent of Seifer's control over him. Seifer could allow him to heal, or he could reject the devil entirely: his choice, his power. But every hour that Asmodeus remained in his weakened state lowered his maximum power. In time Seifer could reduce him to the level of a regular Guardian Force.

His own personal GF. Admittedly, one that didn't like him very much. But one that didn't have a choice over its place of confinement. That had to be worth something.

"What gets me," he said to Fujin, "what really gets me, is how they acted like they wanted us to get away with it."

"They'll change their minds," she said cynically, "once Squall recovers and they remember what happened in Galbadia. They might let you off the hook but they'll stop giving the others a chance." And he didn't want that. Sincerity? From him?

"What would you do," he asked her, "if you'd started feeling loyal to some people and caused them trouble that you would never take any blame for?"

"For a start I wouldn't be sitting here. I'd be trying to defend them."

"And if you couldn't?"

She shrugged. "The best defence, and all that."

A good offence, huh?

He was standing here with a team of veteran soldiers personally loyal to him in the building at his back. A depleted team, maybe, one with few resources, but they had tenacity. They would do anything he ordered. Had done anything he'd ordered in the past, however distasteful. They were used to ups and downs. Given time, they believed they could do - if not anything, then almost that. They believed in themselves - and him.

Fujin was looking at him like she was waiting for an order, half a smile playing round her lips as she looked up at him. He grinned back. Suddenly a lot of things made sense like they never had before. A lot of bad things were due to happen to a lot of good people. "C'm on, Fu," he said, gently taking her arm and guiding her back to their armoured car. "I got a new idea."

Her eyes sparkled. "Tell me."

"Try and stop me."

When the Estharians arrived half an hour later, all they found were tyre tracks.

* * *

**(to be concluded...)**


	11. Epilogue: Together

**A.N.:** Welcome to the Epilogue! (cue 'Final Countdown' music) Just to make up for me not being able to add a proper Author's Note last time, due to a stupid cybercafe computer, you get a super-enormous one this time... I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my super-talented editor AtheneMiranda for bouncing around the ideas for this story, as well as my others. She deserves special recognition for forcing Selphie and Rinoa to stay in character throughout. (She'd love some reviewers for her own stories, mainly in the FFVII, FFIX and Mercedes Lackey sections...go make her happy!) Thanks also to the communities at www.ffwa.org and www.ffonline.com who reviewed it on its first net outing, and to *deep breath* djinxx, Stella Anon, Mistress Moonflower, Mayonaka, beamy, Baconfat, Sakaki22, klepto-maniac0, Quyckslver, Angelprinczess29, JessyNick, Eve, Lili, no name yet!, Makira-chan, ShadowsOfDeath, DarkJedi, Eria, WolfwoodLover, ?, Milly, Silver Hawk, Crystal Cat, Arafel, a reader, dipstick and REM who reviewed here. And to the characters, who put up with living in the inside of my head for several months without too many complaints.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed my first-written exploration of the FFVIII universe. For those of you who might be interested in where it came from, look in the archives for a powerful little songfic called 'Sober' by Lucky Girl's Confusion, a.k.a. Allora Attwater. I was convinced Laguna and Squall's relationship couldn't be allowed to work out the way it did in that fic, and the rest, as they say, is history. This closing scene was one of the first bits of the story I got set up; I hope you think it works.

* * *

EPILOGUE: TOGETHER

Squall sighed to himself as he limped up the winding staircase at the top of the Palace. A fortnight on, he was sure he would never be quite the same person again. It wasn't just that he was so badly injured that he'd been prescribed a minimum of two months away from his gunblade. His confidence was shattered. The war hero he had once been was a distant memory. He couldn't imagine why the others didn't reject him as a leader.

He'd spent a full week recovering in the infirmary, with the whole of Esthar fussing over him. Once he left he was rarely out of Rinoa's company. They would walk the streets at night for the sake of being together. He wasn't meant to be working yet, but he'd wanted to get back into the mission's administration; she stayed by his side through every meeting. He often felt himself reach for her before offering a suggestion, like he needed to be reassured he could still do his job properly. When she wasn't there, he would retreat behind a wall of silence unless someone else silently accepted substituting for her. It was hard to remember that not everybody lived to hurt him.

Somehow, Laguna kept stepping up to fill the role. Squall was too uncertain of himself to be anything but suggestible, but at times he felt he did all but bend over backwards to accept Laguna's support.

He inhaled the night air as he came out onto the roof. Esthar glittered below him. His eyes traced the city's contours, easily distinguishing the different districts: the West End; the miniature city of advanced technological industries round Odine's Laboratory; Upper North Side, the financial district; the Poor Quarter; the docking area round the station and the harbour. Laguna's city. Here and now he could see why the man sacrificed himself for it.

That was the heart of it. Squall would and did do anything for Garden. Laguna's loyalty to Esthar was as strong.

He suddenly realised he wasn't alone. Twenty feet away someone was leaning on the parapet, looking out over the city. Squall moved closer; the man turned at the sound of his footfalls, and he saw it was his father. Laguna raised a hand in greeting. Squall returned the wave, and slowly walked to Laguna's side.

They actually seemed to be developing a tentative kind of friendship. There were still personality clashes and the occasional row, but the only one that had been anywhere near as serious as their old spats had abruptly stopped when Kiros burst out laughing at the sight of Squall and Laguna glaring at each other nose to nose. Their profiles were so similar it had looked like someone had stuck a mirror between their faces. Squall had to smile when he remembered that.

"What are you doing up here?" Squall asked.

Laguna laughed. "Trying to be busy. While you were missing I dropped everything so I could help look for you. I made the mistake of letting someone else pick it all up. Now everyone's so used to filling in I'm left with nothing to do. That's usually when I start acting the klutz. I need to wrestle my work back from the secretaries and commanders before someone notices I'm an idiot."

Squall was silent. Before Raine had appeared to save his sanity, knowing that Laguna was looking for him had meant everything to him. Coming round to find that his father had rescued him, he had again clung to the idea that Laguna might think he was worth something. He didn't know why Laguna had believed. He never would unless he asked. But that belief in him was the foundation of the rebuilding he had to do.

"Why did you do it?" he asked in the end.

"Do what?"

Squall looked down. "Rescue me. Think I was worth rescuing. I don't know."

Laguna sighed. "You know the sad thing? You mean that when you say it."

Squall glanced at him, then looked away. He couldn't face the intensity in Laguna's green eyes anymore. "I've always found it - hard to remember good things about myself. It kind of gets taken for granted that I'll succeed. Maybe I'm insecure, but I like to be told I've done well. It never happens. I just get criticised when I do badly. That happens - kind of often."

He looked down at the cast on his right hand. Even with Selphie's best healing magic poured into it, it would take another month for the bone to recover and even then he would have to face rebuilding the muscle before he could fight again. The ankle injury wasn't as serious but it would need hours of physiotherapy before it could bear his weight in battle.

When the doctors had first revealed the extent of his injuries to him, his first reaction had been to wonder if living through this had been worth it. What would he do, if he could never fight again? The idea of a life without SeeD was completely alien to him. He wouldn't know how to be a civilian.

But he would always have Rinoa. She'd held him after the doctors had gone away, telling him over and over again how much she loved him, until he felt he was doing something useful just by being with her. She would be lost without him. That thought had buoyed him up; but then she had gone to make a phone call and he'd not been able to stop wondering if she would ever come back.

She might find another lover. Laguna could not find another son. If he could mean something to him as well as to Rinoa and their child, that might be his salvation. If someone saw him as unique, valuable... Squall silently damned his unsteady emotions. People couldn't always have someone to reassure them of their own worth. He had to remember how to live without hope. It was the only way to survive.

He tensed up all over at the gentle touch of Laguna's hand on his back. "Tell me what you think you're doing wrong."

"Why?"

"Because."

He was waiting for an answer, not as a friend or parent but as an authority figure, demanding the truth. "The Garden has records of the people I've sent to their deaths. My friends could tell you all the times I've let them get injured by being careless. It was my fault Seifer kidnapped Irvine. I screw up on missions all the time because I think I've finished a job and I haven't. I neglect Rinoa. I ignore my friends. I -" He broke off when Laguna put a hand over his mouth.

"Listen to yourself. Then think of all you've achieved. Then remember nobody's perfect. Then ask yourself why little mistakes matter so much."

"You call lost lives a little mistake?"

"You aren't meant to be the nanny of every SeeD out there. They graduate because they're competent. After that it's the responsibility of their squad leader to make sure they don't go off and kill themselves. Making sure the wrong people don't graduate is all you can do." It kind of made sense, but... "That won't make you stop thinking about the deaths. But I hope it will stop you martyring yourself over them." Laguna gave Squall a little shake. "You are worth something. Even if you don't believe it."

"What -"

"- ever," Laguna finished. "I'm serious, Squall."

Maybe he was right. Maybe there was a place where a mercenary could live free from nightmares. "I wish I believed you."

"You can," Laguna answered simply. "I know it. You just need to think a bit differently."

Squall looked at him and for the first time saw the handful of lines on his face, the evidence of the strains he'd overcome. The times he'd been shattered by what he'd gone through and had simply carried on because he had to. And if he could do it, so could Squall. "Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Do you think you could ever be proud of me?"

Laguna looked at him like he didn't understand the question. "I am proud of you. I don't know how I could be anything else. I mean, you saved us all from Ultimecia, for Hyne's sake. You're a hero."

"I was just there. I did what I was supposed to. I don't feel like anything special for just doing my job."

"That's what makes you special. Doing something insanely dangerous because you thought it was the right thing to do."

Squall absorbed the words, his head tilted to one side. "I think we're starting to understand each other a little - father to son."

Laguna put a hand on his arm. "We're learning. That's got to be a good thing."

"Mother would approve." Squall smiled, and the expression felt genuine for once. He hadn't heard from Raine since he'd left intensive care - she'd told him he was, paradoxically, healing to the stage where she could no longer reach him - but he was sure she was still watching him. It was sometimes like he could hear half a snatch of laughter, or could smell her flowers in the air. He hadn't mentioned her to Laguna again, mainly because the other man had never quite brought himself to believe she wasn't a figment of Squall's delirious imagination. Rinoa had believed him, though - Rinoa and Ellone.

Elle was something else entirely. She'd been the one to tell him she'd moved in with Laguna, and she had missed out on an explosion only by retreating from the infirmary before he found his voice. For a good few minutes Squall had been sure he'd heard her wrong. He hadn't wanted to believe his _sister_ had seduced his _father_. Thank Hyne he'd not picked up the wrong idea and thought it was Laguna's fault. Selphie had eventually forced him to accept the whole idea, mainly by shouting, "But it's so sweet!" down his ear until he promised to give in if she would go away.

"How's Rinoa?" Laguna asked.

"Adjusting. Edea yelled at her for two hours straight when she heard she'd been using sorcery during pregnancy. She's not technically a SeeD so no-one's going to argue if she quits for a year." He still had to pinch himself to remember it wasn't a dream; he really was going to be a father. "She's on maternity leave and I'm supposed to be on sick leave; we were planning on taking a week or so out for some quiet time."

"So you can talk about how you never learnt to put on a condom?"

He realised Laguna was joking and half-smiled. "I could say the same to you."

He was right, of course. One mishap had left them coping with its consequences. Not that he didn't want a family. But he doubted his ability to bring up a child. He didn't want to land himself with anything like Laguna's problems; he never wanted to face a son who didn't understand.

"I'll look forward to coming back to Esthar."

"I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that."

"I'm happy to say it."

He grinned. "Maybe Rinoa'll teach you how to relax while you're away."

Squall snorted. "That's about as likely as Seifer going straight."

"The craziest bit of all of this is he didn't mean to do anything."

"All the same -"

The door behind them banged open. "Squall! Laguna! You out here?" called Kiros.

"Yeah, what is it?" Laguna answered.

Zell pushed past the Vice-President. "Some Trabian troop ship's been blown up off the Balamb coast. Their Prime Minister's on the line asking why the fuck we let Seifer loose."

Squall and Laguna glanced at each other. "You want -" Squall started.

"- to go do something useful?" Laguna finished.

Squall smiled. "Great idea, Dad."

* * *

**FIN**


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